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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
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9
Trsnsn353 · 25/08/2025 19:04

And a couple of plants. Love the rug and curtain!

outerspacepotato · 25/08/2025 19:28

Just ran across a TikTok on straightening cabinet doors. I used his on stripped door screws and it worked well.

Guy is jmg8tor, it's fix your cabinet doors from 7/29. If you use those hinges, he's got your fix.

Chairings · 25/08/2025 19:31

Amazing job.
Really fabulous.
Your husband is an awful twat.
Men like him drag women down.
Can't do it themselves and yet have to knock you down.
As for not asking FIL to help🙄when he cant contribute himself🙄.
What a fragile ego hd has🙄.

You are brilliant OP.

Endorewitch · 26/08/2025 00:05

You have improved it no end. But please have the doors straightened. Not a difficult task for a handy man. Surely you can get some vynil in a sale for the floor. It spoils the look. A colourful blind and a couple of plants will brighten it up. Your husband is an ungrateful ba......

CherryRipe1 · 26/08/2025 09:13

It looks a lot nicer than many new installs. I'd keep it if it were me.

Skybluepinky · 26/08/2025 11:13

In reality the wrapped worktops will look awful in a year, better they were replaced.

He hates the house and doesn’t want to live there, you need to be on top of your relationship as that is the perfect storm for it to break down, doing stuff to it won’t change the fact he hates it.
I love the panelling on the cupboards.

Trsnsn353 · 26/08/2025 11:32

Skybluepinky · 26/08/2025 11:13

In reality the wrapped worktops will look awful in a year, better they were replaced.

He hates the house and doesn’t want to live there, you need to be on top of your relationship as that is the perfect storm for it to break down, doing stuff to it won’t change the fact he hates it.
I love the panelling on the cupboards.

Husband wanted a “done” house and couldn’t afford it in that area or want to move. That is different to hating a house.

And as for needing to be on top of a relationship🤔. Partnership is about making compromises. I’ve had to put up with a shit kitchen for 20 years- 35 years married. There is more to marriage than having exactly what you want all the time and making the best of what you have is not a hardship.

Trsnsn353 · 26/08/2025 11:34

Endorewitch · 26/08/2025 00:05

You have improved it no end. But please have the doors straightened. Not a difficult task for a handy man. Surely you can get some vynil in a sale for the floor. It spoils the look. A colourful blind and a couple of plants will brighten it up. Your husband is an ungrateful ba......

The floor and rug look fantastic now. Why does she need a new floor?

FatherFrosty · 26/08/2025 12:51

It looks really really good

FatherFrosty · 26/08/2025 12:52

if your getting someone in to do the sink and taps. I’d ask if they could sort the cupboard door for you

Lifestooshort6591 · 26/08/2025 13:51

Aaaww, love the further update OP. Looks great!

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 26/08/2025 14:00

Love the updates - your kitchen is beautiful - well done! Good luck getting the stains off quarry tiles off- if you can they’ll be much better than temporary tile alternatives.

Washingupdone · 26/08/2025 17:17

Well done, glad you are keeping the quarry tiles.

AmIEnough · 01/09/2025 07:04

I think it looks great, you’ve done a fantastic job

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