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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Itstheshowgirl · 22/08/2025 11:41

It looks lovely OP but you say that your DH hates the house so he probably wouldn’t like anything that you did. He is being a prick about all the work you have done but I think it must be soul destroying living somewhere that you don’t like - why did he agree to buy it if he doesn’t want to do the work?

Needlenardlenoo · 22/08/2025 11:42

It is definitely a big improvement. You are very handy!

What you did is much more environmentally friendly than ripping it all out too. We all need to think more like that.

TheLeadbetterLife · 22/08/2025 11:42

It looks great. I did similar with our 35 year old kitchen—it's far from perfect, but looks so much better, and will do until we can afford / be arsed to replace the cabinets.

I love the quarry tiles, I would keep them.

Merrymouse · 22/08/2025 11:43

It looks great OP.

I think your problem is that some people won't see a difference unless you rip it all out and change the configuration and do an extension.

But that is not your problem.

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

OP posts:
GasPanic · 22/08/2025 11:45

Well what was your husbands solution to the issue ? To whine and do nothing.

It's probably not going to be perfect if you are a first time DIYer. But it's a solution that will work until you can get the money together for a full re-installation. Many people make do with the same.

Yes, you will get some comments from people who like to feel superior and get off on the fact that they have something to look down on. Ignore them.

Maybe if you husband wants a professional job he should pull his finger out and go and earn some more cash to pay for it. In the mean time he will have to make do, in a similar manner to the way just about everyone else does in the world.

TheLeadbetterLife · 22/08/2025 11:46

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

Balls to your FIL. Hanging cabinets and fitting lights is easy—learn some DIY skills, get a good drill, and show 'em all.

Mercurysinretrograde · 22/08/2025 11:47

It’s a huge improvement. I’d pay a handyman to hang the cupboard doors properly but you have done a fabulous job!

beetr00 · 22/08/2025 11:47

@Malahala

It's bloody brilliant, ignore the naysayers.

Some of the cabinets look slightly mis-aligned but that's an easy fix by adjusting your hinges.

Very well done you 🌻

Jenkibuble · 22/08/2025 11:48

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

It looks lovely.

Could you broach your MIL about your FIL getting involved without commenting on the panelling etc

My ex was quite like this (not the only reason he is my ex) and would see replacement s the only solution !

lunaswand · 22/08/2025 11:49

Looks great, a new floor will make all the difference.

£200K below the asking price ?

thecomedyofterrors · 22/08/2025 11:49

It looks fantastic! Really really good job. Some people just don’t appreciate ascetics. If you could possibly add a colourful roman blind it would add a lot for little too.

SereneCoralDog · 22/08/2025 11:50

It looks great op and a million times better.

The only thing that jars a bit is the floor - but if you can get all the residue up and get them cleaned up then they'll look great and finish it off.

Well done!

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/08/2025 11:51

Oh it’s SOOOO much better! Once the quarry tiles are cleaned up and if you can get a new light fittings it’ll be amazing!

AuntieDen · 22/08/2025 11:51

It looks great

If you've done all of that then you will be able to fit a blind, just take it slow (both fixing the mount and cutting it to size if necessary) and you can do it!

With the quarry tiles if you love them when you clean them then thats great but if not some cheap lino could also make the whole room look lighter so no shame in getting an end of roll if you decide you want one.

And why can't you ask your FIL? Although to be honest if he's as negative as his son I would just leave it and be proud of what you've done - it sounds like your husband does bugger all and that likely involves cooking so if he doesn't use the room then his opinion counts for nothing, frankly - be proud of the difference you've made and tell him to earn some extra money if nothing short of a pro-makeover will make him happy!

OompaLoofah · 22/08/2025 11:51

You’ve done a great job op. the cupboards and tiles etc look fab.

I think it’s the floor that’s maybe taking it down a peg or two. Would you be able to get some more lino to cover it - some sort of week effect? I think the terracotta tiles are quite stark and not in keeping with the rest of the kitchen now, so making it a bit dated.

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:51

Itstheshowgirl · 22/08/2025 11:41

It looks lovely OP but you say that your DH hates the house so he probably wouldn’t like anything that you did. He is being a prick about all the work you have done but I think it must be soul destroying living somewhere that you don’t like - why did he agree to buy it if he doesn’t want to do the work?

This is probably the heart of it. He said yes to this house because he felt he couldn’t say no.
With our previous house, he backed out on the day of exchange because he felt it was too much work and we ended up buying the house he wanted instead - I didn’t like the house, we bought it fully done up from a developer as it was what DH wanted. But I got over the fact that it wasn’t my first choice and we were there for 7 years. We ended up losing money when we sold it because it’s hard to make anything on done up houses. He also agreed to the house because around that time he finally admitted after leading me on for several years that he didn’t want a second child which absolutely devastated me. So yeah, he probably owed me one!

OP posts:
Lifeofthepartay · 22/08/2025 11:51

It definitely looks a lot better, and can definitely live with that for 5 years while you save for your new one. Well done. Try to adjust the hinges and see if that helps. New lino needed as that's a trip hazard.

CrotchetyQuaver · 22/08/2025 11:52

I would ask your FIL yourself to straighten up the doors and you can learn from him as it sounds like he knows what he's doing. Your DH is just overwhelmed by negativity about the house which is a shame.

ColdLittleHeart · 22/08/2025 11:52

Keep the kitchen, replace the husband!

I think some new lights and blind would make it perfect.

You’ve done a cracking job OP, not just on the kitchen but on purchasing a beautiful house that you can invest in and make it just what you want over time.

Huge regret of mine was spending a fortune on renovations as soon as we moved in, I now hate most of it. I wish we had lived in it for a while longer before making such big decisions.

goodnessidontknow · 22/08/2025 11:52

I agree it looks much better! If you can't easily fit a blind you could try getting a tension rod and some light fabric and draping it over. That way you can dress the window and it's really easy to take down and throw in the wash when it gets greasy.

tripleginandtonic · 22/08/2025 11:52

Brutally, I'm not sure I see a marked improvement bit all that matters is that you do

gotmyknickersinatwist · 22/08/2025 11:53

Bloody hell, I'd be delighted with the floor alone! Were they the original or at least old stone/terracotta tiles?

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/08/2025 11:53

you should be able to straighten up the doors by adjusting the screws in the hinges. There’s YouTube videos that show how to do it.

ThePinkPoster · 22/08/2025 11:53

Is there any reason why your DH gets the final
say on whether you ask your FIL to hang the doors
straight?