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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Nothing7 · 24/08/2025 10:51

It looks fantastic! Your husband is being completely ungrateful.
I did similar to mine albeit mine was already shaker style. Hubby really didn’t want me to paint the cabinets but was so chuffed with the way they turned out and went and bought a composite sink and taps so we could complete the look. Still need to do the floor but the transformation, as with yours was huge
well done! And the panelling looks great

RoseAlone · 24/08/2025 11:28

I visit people's houses as part of my job and to be honest I've seen much worse kitchens that have cost oodles of money!

You've done an amazing job so don't listen to grumpy hubby or anyone else. It looks fab and you should be very proud of yourself!

Jmj2207 · 24/08/2025 12:00

You've done a lovely job well done!!

Mummof3cuties · 24/08/2025 12:18

I rather like it, much better than before, looks fresher and cleaner. Love the floor, it looks original to the house. Nice little blind for the window and it’s good to go. You SHOULD be proud of yourself and it doesn’t look tatty.

theonlygirl · 24/08/2025 12:22

You've done a fantastic job. Your husband is a miserable, lazy, joy sucking, ungrateful mill stone around your neck. I sincerely hope he has other qualities.

Prettyrosess · 24/08/2025 13:26

Wow! You did all that by yourself? It looks amazing OP! You should be very proud.

CommonAsMucklowe · 24/08/2025 14:33

That is a wonderful improvement! Well done you because I wouldn't have the wherewithal.

Hmwales · 24/08/2025 14:35

Congratulations you've done a fantastic job ~ really well done.

MellersSmellers · 24/08/2025 15:03

Waaay better! Well done you! Especially if you had no help or support!
Even better if you can get rid of the white marks on the floor

Ditsyfloral · 24/08/2025 16:43

Looks really good and I know how hard it is to do that, I did the same in mine. Sometimes people can’t say something nice as they are usually surprised that you did a great job. It really does look fab, well done you !

sabbii · 24/08/2025 17:46

I did the same bought a doer upper in a fantastic and have gradually improved, we finally did the kitchen 8 years after moving in. Concentrated on the loft 1st as we needed bedrooms asap, then decorating the 1st floor before the ground floor. We hope to a small extension and finish the garden landscaping. Everything costs a shed load of money and I have done as much as I can with DIY to save about 20 grand (bricklaying, so much digging, fencing, shelving). Trust me more than anything I would love something ready made.

Millou · 24/08/2025 22:58

You have done a great job! I’d do something to the floor and the lighting and you’ve achieved a lovely homely kitchen with character. Tell the H you don’t appreciate his negativity and if he has nothing positive to say, to not bother saying anything at all!

Malahala · 25/08/2025 13:15

Thank you all for your encouragement and some great pieces of advice too! I’ve added the cafe curtain - £5.99 rod from Wilko and £24 linen voile from Dunelm I cut to size and hemmed. I’ve also added some decorative touches as suggested. I appreciate the quarry tile is divisive but it’s original to the house and I love it! The suggestion to use sticky stuff remover on the tape and newspaper worked brilliantly and I’m now just waiting for some specialist quarry tile cleaner but in the meantime I’ve put down a rug. I’ve still got the new ceramic sink and tap from my mum that need fitting and the bloody cabinets still need straightening.

A few posters asked why I don’t just ask FIL to help with the cabinets myself. I have to respect DH not wanting to ask him. I would be cross if I told DH not to ask my mum something and he did it anyway.

Anyway, here are a couple of photos of the extra work I’ve done in the last couple of days. Even I can see I have done a decent job!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Malahala · 25/08/2025 13:16

(photos are “under review” so may take time to load)

OP posts:
WhereIsMyJumper · 25/08/2025 13:37

Malahala · 25/08/2025 13:15

Thank you all for your encouragement and some great pieces of advice too! I’ve added the cafe curtain - £5.99 rod from Wilko and £24 linen voile from Dunelm I cut to size and hemmed. I’ve also added some decorative touches as suggested. I appreciate the quarry tile is divisive but it’s original to the house and I love it! The suggestion to use sticky stuff remover on the tape and newspaper worked brilliantly and I’m now just waiting for some specialist quarry tile cleaner but in the meantime I’ve put down a rug. I’ve still got the new ceramic sink and tap from my mum that need fitting and the bloody cabinets still need straightening.

A few posters asked why I don’t just ask FIL to help with the cabinets myself. I have to respect DH not wanting to ask him. I would be cross if I told DH not to ask my mum something and he did it anyway.

Anyway, here are a couple of photos of the extra work I’ve done in the last couple of days. Even I can see I have done a decent job!

This update makes me happy OP! Not only does it look fabulous, but you seem much more up beat about it and proud. Which you should be!
Where did you get the rug from??

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 25/08/2025 14:04

It looks Great OP, I admire your DIY industry.

ANGIEPANGY77 · 25/08/2025 14:11

With the work you've done, I would seriously rethink doing a future remodel. It looks great. An updated celing fixture is all that is needed, imo.

TheMimsy · 25/08/2025 14:19

@Malahala that rug and little touches chefs kiss looks even more fabulous :)

vickylou78 · 25/08/2025 16:04

Looks really good.

I also wonder if you can straighten the cabinets yourself. Is it just the doors that are a bit off? As they can be altered by adjusting the screws at the arms at the side of the door hinges. There will be you tube videos showing how.

vickylou78 · 25/08/2025 16:08

Ps. Quarry tiles will look nice when you've cleaned them with proper cleaner and maybe sealed them and I like the addition of a rug.

You've done so well

outerspacepotato · 25/08/2025 16:10

Girl! That looks so nice! It looks like such a pleasant kitchen to be cooking in.

I personally like quarry tile but that rug is nice. As for lighting, track lighting is coming back in style now.

Letsbe · 25/08/2025 17:18

Its very very cute must lift your spirits when you go in there. I like both the quarry tiles and the rug and the cafe curtains really finish it off.

We are all to ready to rip things out that are perfectly good and create unnecessary waste.

SeasalterSadie · 25/08/2025 17:27

Love the rug!!!
It looks bloody lovely well done ❤️

Shudacudawuda · 25/08/2025 18:43

Love the curtain, looks brilliant!

Trsnsn353 · 25/08/2025 18:57

Oh my goodness that is amazing!!!!! It’s just the type of kitchen I love on Instagram. You do not need a new one!!

A really nice light fitting would be the icing on the cake but honestly it’s gorgeous as it is.

Well done you!