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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
tartyflette · 22/08/2025 11:31

It's a great improvement OP, you've done a really good job, please be happy with it and ignore the critics.

AddMoreGarlic · 22/08/2025 11:32

Your new kitchen looks fresh and fabulous! Please be proud of your work. Aside from the whiny husband, your friend/MIlL/mum might have said those comments because sometimes a simple "it looks nice" could seem a bit dismissive and not recognise your efforts.

StrokeRecovery25 · 22/08/2025 11:32

gamerchick · 22/08/2025 11:16

Eh? It looks mint OP. Do you want to come and do mine? Grin

The problem here is your husband and his whining.

Sit him down, tell him his comments are getting you down and he either needs to step up and help or shut the fuck up. Tell him to come up with a financially working plan to get stuff up to scratch or to shut the fuck up about it.

You're going to need to be really harsh with him I think.

As usual. Couldn't agree more!! & you can see who he's a chip off. The miserable MIL block!

Honestly, you've done a fab job!! Mine next??

The new dishwasher has made a huge difference too

the only thing I'd say is. Could you lime wash the floor or get a vinyl off cut? Anyone on 'fbmp' or 'neighbourhood' have any flooring they're getting rid of?

🍾🍾
& do as gamerchick said!!

onlymethen · 22/08/2025 11:32

Love a bit of up cycling. It looks great and a massive improvement.well done you should be very proud of what you achieved.

Catcatcat111 · 22/08/2025 11:33

I think it looks like a huge improvement. Well done on your hard work!

purplecorkheart · 22/08/2025 11:33

You did a great job. It looks lovely. Your DH on the other hand sounds like a lazy/nasty jerk.

BigSondsPieceBox · 22/08/2025 11:33

Fabulous!

How did you get on with the tile paint? If you'd recommend whatever brand you used, could you share the name?

My elderly pink harvest tiles need to go!

Eddielizzard · 22/08/2025 11:33

I would be proud of that! Unfortunately this is one of those times where your enjoyment of your hard work and energy is your reward. Looking to others is a waste of time and only gets you down.

You've taken something very dated and made it look great on an absolute shoestring, and that is REALLY hard to do. Well done.

Ineffable23 · 22/08/2025 11:34

I love the tiles OP and think it looks fab.

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 22/08/2025 11:34

It looks fantastic - buy some really beautiful Roman blinds with quality linen fabric, put good quality potted plants on the window will- this will draw the eye up and away from the floor and make the window the focal point.

If you have the budget, I would buy some simple peel and stick tiles to cover the flooring until you can actually replace the tiles. Other than the cabinets, which you’ve already painted, that would make the biggest difference to the look of the kitchen.

babyproblems · 22/08/2025 11:34

It looks bloody lovely. Well done!!!
A lovely light fitting, a chic blind and you’re done. Beautiful @Malahala well done!!!
I did similar to our kitchen and another thing I did to add more ‘character’ was to put up some shelves and use brass rails across the fronts to add a bit of extra! You can buy the brass rail kits - they’re for boat interiors- on eBay! Xx

babyproblems · 22/08/2025 11:34

It looks bloody lovely. Well done!!!
A lovely light fitting, a chic blind and you’re done. Beautiful @Malahala well done!!!
I did similar to our kitchen and another thing I did to add more ‘character’ was to put up some shelves and use brass rails across the fronts to add a bit of extra! You can buy the brass rail kits - they’re for boat interiors- on eBay! Xx

Slightyamusedandsilly · 22/08/2025 11:34

I don't like the cabinets. I think they look older now they they did before.

However, the walls and the countertops are a massive improvement.

DramaAlpaca · 22/08/2025 11:36

It looks really good, OP!

Namechangedagain999 · 22/08/2025 11:36

Looks amazing and original quarry tile floors are so superior to cheap Lino.

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:37

Thanks everyone. You’re all making me a bit tearful - it’s taken over a month of finding time at work and at weekends here and there to do it plus 10s of hours spent on YouTube trying to learn how to do stuff. In all that time I haven’t had a single bit of proper praise from anyone (except my mum) and it was really getting me down.

@Daisyvodka i am upset at my DH and we had an argument about it last night (hence my post). But I’m more upset about the fact that he clearly thinks it’s not great and the reason he doesn’t want to ask FIL to help me straighten the cabinets is because he says FIL will criticise my work.

It’s sad I had to ask you all for your opinion but I was starting to feel silly and worrying I’ve developed DIY blindness!

I removed the old lino as it was damaged and they were covering the original quarry tiles. The tiles are also damaged, there’s a lot of newspaper print and glue residue on them. I’m currently researching how to get all of that off and try to get them looking nice without spending a lot of money!

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 22/08/2025 11:38

R0ckandHardPlace · 22/08/2025 11:11

It looks so much better! You’ve done a great job.

I do think that the quarry tiles let it down though, and I’d put a blind up on the window to soften it a bit.

This is what I was about to say, a blind will help soften it, and I'd add perhaps a narrow thin rug as the tiles are lettingbit down a bit.

BeaLola · 22/08/2025 11:38

I think it looks fab

All I would add is a different light fitting, a plant in windowsill and a blind which I think will finish it

You need a different DH too - you have done wonders

DiscoBob · 22/08/2025 11:38

It's lovely! Gorgeous. Be very proud of yourself. Maybe it's just that some people aren't very observant?
So it looked a bit boring before, not stand out hideous, so they didn't really pay any attention to how it looked. Now it's better they can't notice because they didn't pay attention before?

EuclidianGeometryFan · 22/08/2025 11:40

So what was your DH doing whilst you were doing all this work?
Did he take on all the routine housework? Cook the meals whilst you were working on the house?
Or is he just a lazy whinger?

What would have been his actual solution? Magic up the money? He gets a second job to pay for the kitchen he wants? Or does he just dump his complaining onto you and expect you to work miracles? Does he think you should have got a second job? Taken out a big loan?
Does he actually come up with positive suggestions or is he one of those people who is just a drain on everyone else?

Sit him down and have it out with him. You should not put up with this.

Truetoself · 22/08/2025 11:40

Great job! (But TBH I think old kitchen is also nice)

MujeresLibres · 22/08/2025 11:41

Looks great OP

jackstini · 22/08/2025 11:41

That is a huge improvement! Really lovely, far nicer

dh needs to apologise and cook you a lovely meal in it!

LuckyAnt · 22/08/2025 11:41

The pics aren't close up enough to see the quality of the finish (is that what your husband's problem is with it?), but essentially it looks like you've done an amazing job and I'm fully in admiration for the effort, time and practical ingenuity you've brought to the project.

If it were me, the only thing I might change is maybe the light fittings, as spotlights can make a room feel a bit cold. But basically, I'd be feeling very proud of myself if I'd taken on a project like this and made such an improvement – you definitely deserve more praise than you've received!

BeLimeKoala · 22/08/2025 11:41

I clicked the wrong one. I chose YABU as you are way too hard on yourself and have done an amazing job! A bit of fresh Lino and someone to hang the doors a little and perfect, nothing wrong with it! And sorry for not reading your interpretations of YABU etc!