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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Camomilecrumpet · 23/08/2025 22:01

Not just being nice, this is genuinely an amazing transformation. The before looks a bit like a student flat, the after is a cute country kitchen kind of look and definitely wouldn’t make me think it needs doing up any time soon. I agree with the pp that a blind and some plants would make it.

Franjipanl8r · 23/08/2025 22:01

You’ve done the best you can with the time, money and skills you have which is fantastic. Is it a big kitchen transformation? No it isn’t sorry.

suzyq54 · 23/08/2025 22:13

You’ve done a great job, well done.
Ignore your husband, he can’t have an opinion if he hasn’t lifted a finger to help you.
It would be better with a splash of colour though.
Maybe a nice blind with a matching rug and a few plants and a bright kettle?

SteinerMom · 23/08/2025 22:16

I've been putting this off for years. You have inspired me to get started.
It's such a shame your DH is being so uncooperative.

VK456 · 23/08/2025 22:21

Looks good to me. I’d be very happy with it.
Well done!

DirtyBird · 23/08/2025 22:57

That’s amazing! I wish I had the patience and perseverance to do a makeover like that. Your husband is being a prick, and don’t let other make you feel bad or down they are just snobs. I hate mean people like that. Be proud of your accomplishment!

the5thgoldengirl · 23/08/2025 23:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Amybelle88 · 23/08/2025 23:10

I think it’s lovely! And I don’t think it looks ten years old, either! He’s an arse. You done amazing! Genuinely - not just saying that to make you feel better.

anon666 · 23/08/2025 23:44

It looks absolutely great. You've updated it a lot from where it was.

Dh and Mil sound like a pair of mood hoovers. Ignore them. And good on your mum for buying you the appliances. 🥰

Slave123 · 24/08/2025 00:04

You have done a fantastic job want to come to Scotland and sort my kitchen out looks better then it did before. You should be praising yourself not thinking what other people are saying WELL DONE

Empress13 · 24/08/2025 00:08

You’ve done a fabulous job give yourself a big pat on the back !

RubyMentor · 24/08/2025 00:19

Definite improvement

BlondieMuver · 24/08/2025 01:44

That's a great job. But the kitchen definitely isn't 40yrs old!

I couldn't be doing with your dh, he sounds like a proper PITA!

Bunny65 · 24/08/2025 01:48

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:51

This is probably the heart of it. He said yes to this house because he felt he couldn’t say no.
With our previous house, he backed out on the day of exchange because he felt it was too much work and we ended up buying the house he wanted instead - I didn’t like the house, we bought it fully done up from a developer as it was what DH wanted. But I got over the fact that it wasn’t my first choice and we were there for 7 years. We ended up losing money when we sold it because it’s hard to make anything on done up houses. He also agreed to the house because around that time he finally admitted after leading me on for several years that he didn’t want a second child which absolutely devastated me. So yeah, he probably owed me one!

Ask fil yourself for help to straighten the cupboards, you don’t need anyone’s permission.

Gremlinsateit · 24/08/2025 06:00

Brilliant job @Malahala . If you put that rug over the quarry tiles, I think you don’t have to do anything else.

I am trying to summon up the courage to do something similar to my horrible kitchen. How did you find the vinyl wrap for the benches? Was it easy enough to apply, and does it seem robust enough for benches?

MrsDoubtfire123 · 24/08/2025 06:34

Looks great OP! You should be proud.

LoopyLil82 · 24/08/2025 07:16

Wow that looks so much better.
I just cannot believe your hubby let you do that all on your own and now makes snippy comments. What an absolute arse!
You should be so proud of yourself x

NuovaPilbeam · 24/08/2025 07:21

It does look better but i know what DH means, sometimes its almost irritating to spend money when you can't get what you want from it. I'd also say what can look better in a photo can look like a very obvious bodge job close up. Can you post close ups of the painted tiles, door panels etc?

Out of interest what was wrong with the countertops before? You didn't cover marble or granite with wood effect vinyl did you??

Pipsquiggle · 24/08/2025 07:54

Just a shame he can't get onboard with this house. He seems not to have learnt anything from your last new build house where you lost money.

This is exactly how people make wealth in the long term - buy the worst house on the best street.

You are doing really well OP. Shame your DH doesn't appreciate your hard work.

Julimia · 24/08/2025 08:57

Your makeover looks fab . Be pleased with your efforts and take no notice of anyone else. Keep going with the DIY.
I have to say though I find it difficult to understand how someone not able or willing to take on a do up project would get into this...DH. He is possibly a teeny bit jealous/envious of your obvious skills and positivity too.
.

Deathinvegas · 24/08/2025 08:58

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

Yes, it looks better except the floor that doesn’t seem to have worked too well but it’s cheap and temporary so that doesn’t really matter.
I’ve had the same debate in my house I started out thinking like your DH but we moved a wall so i was forced to do some decorating and after seeing the transformative effect of just a lick paint I’m a convert to your way of thinking.
Tbh my DH just leaves me to it, if i want to do it i do it, if I don’t I don’t.

Deathinvegas · 24/08/2025 09:06

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:37

Thanks everyone. You’re all making me a bit tearful - it’s taken over a month of finding time at work and at weekends here and there to do it plus 10s of hours spent on YouTube trying to learn how to do stuff. In all that time I haven’t had a single bit of proper praise from anyone (except my mum) and it was really getting me down.

@Daisyvodka i am upset at my DH and we had an argument about it last night (hence my post). But I’m more upset about the fact that he clearly thinks it’s not great and the reason he doesn’t want to ask FIL to help me straighten the cabinets is because he says FIL will criticise my work.

It’s sad I had to ask you all for your opinion but I was starting to feel silly and worrying I’ve developed DIY blindness!

I removed the old lino as it was damaged and they were covering the original quarry tiles. The tiles are also damaged, there’s a lot of newspaper print and glue residue on them. I’m currently researching how to get all of that off and try to get them looking nice without spending a lot of money!

Just read your updates about the tiles it’s a shame they’re damaged, i love that style of tile!

MoonWoman69 · 24/08/2025 09:51

Well I'd be happy with you coming round and giving mine a makeover! You've done an absolutely cracking job on that! Be proud of yourself and what you've accomplished all by yourself!
Honestly OP, it looks brilliant! 👏🏻💐

DangerousAlchemy · 24/08/2025 09:53

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

You've done a fab job on your own. Well done 👏🎂 can you contact your FIL yourself and ask for a bit of help? That's what I'd do.

dazzlingdeborahrose · 24/08/2025 10:28

You’ve done a brilliant job. It looks ten times better. Definitely ask your FIL to come and give you a hand with the doors etc. as someone said, your ‘D’H knows he’s going to catch some harsh words from FIL about his lazy childish behaviour. The terracotta tiles could look great once cleaned up and restored but I suspect you’re looking for a lighter more contemporary look so lino or stick on tiles. Well bloody done!! You should be immensely proud of what you’ve achieved. As for the man child? Ignore ignore ignore.