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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
ifionlyhadacat · 23/08/2025 13:56

Bravo OP, you've done a great job and you should be proud of yourself. In fact that style of door has been in and out of trend for the last 30 years so in a way it's timeless, just not this year's fad. And those quarry tiles are gorgeous. I did the same thing when I bought my first home in 1991 and it was just right . In fact I was astonished to find all my clumsy DIY work I had done was still there when it came up on the market recently ( for 10 times the price I'd sold it at.)
When we installed our kitchen 20 years ago i our present house, I wanted a country farmhouse type old looking slate floor as the original part of our house is a stone built 200+ year old stone cottage. We got the rest from ikea, with oak doors with sort of ridges. I laid the slate slabs as my husband wouldn't have done them in a random way and I didn't want it to look new, but imperfect and worn. We got some money recently and replaced our counter tops with granite , and changed the wall tiles and extractor. When it came to the cupboards, we couldn't find anything that we liked half as much as those that had been there for 20 years. So we refurbished a couple of the insides and left them exactly as they were. When people come into the kitchen, the usual reaction is "Wow!" - to 20 year old cupboards!
I'm afraid I think your DH needs to give his head a wobble.

SwedishEdith · 23/08/2025 14:59

Who the hell voted YABU?

Looking again, I'd paint the walls something warmer and a little darker than the current colour to tie in with the floor. A sage green would look nice.

Bunny17 · 23/08/2025 17:53

Well done you... It will tide you over, great idea 😊

BeAzureRaven · 23/08/2025 17:59

It looks very nice and I love the tile painted white! Your husband is rude.

vickylou78 · 23/08/2025 18:03

You've done a great job, looks so much better

Wombatboymom · 23/08/2025 18:10

Oh bless you you’ve done a fantastic job job and I think it looks lovely! Sorry they are raining on your parade. Hope you enjoy it!

JennyBG · 23/08/2025 18:11

It looks amazing!…and well done you!
As for your husband, he needs to take a long hard look at himself. You weren’t asking him to do it “all”, he could have helped, even if it was only holding tools for you. I’m wondering though, why didn’t you ask your FIL yourself? He probably would have loved to have helped you, if only to show his son what an idiot he was being.
I hope you’re very proud of yourself for doing such a fantastic job…I know “I’m” proud of you 👍🏻

Airspice · 23/08/2025 18:12

Omg It looks much better, well done! You’ve really done a great job ☺️

Charlize43 · 23/08/2025 18:12

Irrespective of the outcome you should congratulate yourself for:
(a) Not being afraid to take on a challenge.
(b) Learning new DIY skills which will stand you in good stead when things need repairing, which will save you money.
(c) Improving your surroundings and environment.

Here's to you! 🍷
Well done!

Spinmerightroundbaby · 23/08/2025 18:16

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

I think it might be the flooring OP. The before flooring looks much better than the state of the flooring now. That’s probably what people are focusing on as it stood out to me right away. For a couple of hundred, get some cheap lino and cover the floor.

ThistleTits · 23/08/2025 18:17

@Malahala it looks much nicer, fresh and clean. Well done on your hard work. He's basically a lazy sod.

OnePoliteCat · 23/08/2025 18:19

OP, this is lovely. Honestly, it's so nice. I love your quarry tiles (I have similar in my dining room) and the colour and look of the units and handles suits them. If you are pleased, then enjoy your work and stuff anyone else. This has really reassured / inspired me, as I'm having to move from my nice "done" house to somewhere cheaper (getting divorced), and I know I'll have to do lots of DIY, so it's fab to see how you've made such a difference on a budget. Go you xx

Donsyb · 23/08/2025 18:21

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

Can’t you ask FIL yourself?

humanassy · 23/08/2025 18:27

For your door tweaks

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
Dodgethis · 23/08/2025 18:37

I think this looks great! Well done!

Modompodom · 23/08/2025 18:38

It's fabulous! Well done!

Tresamour · 23/08/2025 18:41

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

It looks so much nicer! You've done a great job and should be proud. I think your husband sounds threatened by your talent, to be honest! X

TicTac80 · 23/08/2025 18:44

I think it looks wonderful! Well done! I hope you feel really proud of yourself for the amazing and hard work you have done!

FWIW I love the quarry tiles. I was thrilled when I found we had them in my place (under a load of knackered lino). Mine are in my downstairs hallway, kitchen and bathroom. Rest of my floors are the original wooden floor boards. My tiles aren’t perfect but I don’t care. One day I might get someone to come in and get them looking tip top (I’m scared of ruining them!), but they’re functional and I love that they’re on show.

fetchacloth · 23/08/2025 18:46

I think it looks great OP, it's given me inspo for my kitchen.
Your DH is probably now feeling inadequate but don't make his problem yours 😁

Nowaynowayhose · 23/08/2025 18:47

Oh you’ve done an absolutely brilliant job. I did the same to my kitchen cupboard doors too. Makes such a difference!

For a Nancy Mayers aesthetic…. definitely a rug. A scallop jute one or a faded vintage one would be good. A cafe style curtain (easy to make from scrap material and a tension rod). Plants on the window sill. Dries flowers in the corner etc
Don’t let your husband get you down, his attitude absolutely stinks.
I agree about fixing crooked doors, it’s very hit and miss! Can’t you ask your FIL yourself?

Olive567 · 23/08/2025 18:49

Well done OP, you've done an amazing job. I love the floor tiles - they add additional authentic personality to the room and it would be a pity to cover them.

Spookyspaghetti · 23/08/2025 18:51

Another one saying it looks great. You can get some very cheap shear and/or net curtains at the moment. Adding a curtain would instantly make the whole room feel more ‘done.’ Same with the lights, you can get quite a cheap light fixtures and add a pendant light or something with a bit more character.

Daisymay2 · 23/08/2025 18:53

Massive improvement. Well done

Trovindia · 23/08/2025 18:54

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:51

This is probably the heart of it. He said yes to this house because he felt he couldn’t say no.
With our previous house, he backed out on the day of exchange because he felt it was too much work and we ended up buying the house he wanted instead - I didn’t like the house, we bought it fully done up from a developer as it was what DH wanted. But I got over the fact that it wasn’t my first choice and we were there for 7 years. We ended up losing money when we sold it because it’s hard to make anything on done up houses. He also agreed to the house because around that time he finally admitted after leading me on for several years that he didn’t want a second child which absolutely devastated me. So yeah, he probably owed me one!

I feel like you'd be a lot happier without him, to be honest. He sounds an absolute drain on you.

MayaPinion · 23/08/2025 18:55

You’ve done a brilliant job. I love a fixer upper. It’s a blank canvas just waiting for you to make it your own. The problem with ‘perfect’ homes is that you don’t feel justified making changes even if they’re not quite to your taste. When we moved into our ‘forever’ home 17 years ago it wasn’t even plumbed for a washing machine. Only 3 families had lived in it in almost 100 years. It still had all the great art nouveau features but needed a tonne of work we couldn’t immediately afford to do.

The kids went to fantastic schools, lived near all their friends, and loved growing up here. They didn’t care for one minute about the tomato soup coloured carpet in the dining room or the fake walnut wood paneling in the hall (it was oak underneath - bonus!). It is still a work in progress, but we live in a lovely community. You will grow into this fantastic family home 💕