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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
MrsTaytodarling · 23/08/2025 19:00

I think its lovely and you did a great job!!!!

JennyFromTheBlock238 · 23/08/2025 19:05

It looks absolutely brilliant - and anytime you'd like to come and do mine, my address is..... 😉

PrettyPickle · 23/08/2025 19:05

Your husband is a misery because he couldn't be bothered to see the potential and you could! It looks really good, just needs finishing off (but all in good time) with lino and a blind.

If your husband doesn't like the house, he maybe one of those that just moans until he gets his own way ! Head up lady, your kitchen rocks!

k8jr · 23/08/2025 19:06

I think the updates look fab.
I think your husband sounds like he's being deliberately difficult. He's so lazy he can't even call his friend to see if he could possibly help, yet you've managed all this. Ugh, he needs to wind his neck in.
Also well done for getting a house for 200k less than asking! Wow!

croydon15 · 23/08/2025 19:07

You done a great job and l would be so annoyed at the lack of support from DH.

wfhwfh · 23/08/2025 19:08

I can’t believe what you’ve done yourself - I think it looks amazing.

Your husband sounds like a petulant child. It’s bad enough he hasn’t helped you - but not even to congratulate you is unforgivable.

It sounds like you managed to get a spacious home in a great area for a discount price and now you’re making it look fantastic.

ANGIEPANGY77 · 23/08/2025 19:12

You've done a fantastic job. I wish I had your skill set.

CyanMaker · 23/08/2025 19:14

So sorry that your husband doesn't appreciate your talent and hard work. I particularly like your countertops and new hardware on the cabinets. Some women would have moaned about the kitchen but you got busy and did the best you could with what you had to work with.

SimplyAFolly · 23/08/2025 19:14

Cracking Job 👌, hubby should get an evening job for the extra funds if not happy, needs to pull his finger out.
Hinges are adjustable, so doors will straighten up, just go to YouTube to see how its done.

Hmm1234 · 23/08/2025 19:16

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

Once you change the colour of the flooring even paint over them? It will look even better

CherryRipe1 · 23/08/2025 19:18

I love it! Mines not too dissimilar and everyone likes it. Bollox to hubby. If you're going to keep it for a few years then just do a few tweaks here and there.

EH1768 · 23/08/2025 19:19

It looks amazing. If some of the cupboards aren’t hanging correctly , or other small things, get a handyman in to have a look via Taskrabbit or similar, and hopefully they can sort that small element.

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 23/08/2025 19:19

It looks gorgeous. Love the floor! But I’d add a line or something at the window to just set it off. You’ve done a brilliant job and should be really proud of yourself.

Mathmomum · 23/08/2025 19:22

Q1: how much do you charge?
Q2: can you work in the north west?
I dream of your expertise.

Londonmummy66 · 23/08/2025 19:24

An fun little hack until you can get the blind of your dreams would be a cafe curtain made out of an antique table runner. It would tie in with the Nancy Myers vibe (she has plain half length curtains in her own kitchen). You can do a no sew version with a tension rod, rings with pinch clips and a vintage table runner - loads on ebay at under £20. Get a brass finish tension rod and alligator clip curtain rings from Amazon. I've just done something similar with an antique embroidered table cloth as a bathroom curtain and it looks so good I might just keep it.

Then some small enamel pots from somewhere like Tiger and put herbs in them on the counter top by the window. Natural wood shelves to match the work top either side of the window would look good too.

RanchRat · 23/08/2025 19:26

Loads better. Ignore the miseries and enjoy the fabulous fruits of your work.

Ange59 · 23/08/2025 19:31

Looks great, you've done well and you've got the satisfaction of it being your own hard work - ignore lazy fuckwit !

catlover123456789 · 23/08/2025 19:34

First of all, you've done a brilliant job, all on your own too. I think for the wow factor, paint the cupboards a trendy dark blue.
FYI- your before kitchen was definitely newer than mine!

I think you and DH need a talk though, because when you buy a renovation you both need to be on board. It's hard work and you need to be a team.

NothingLeftToInheritDarlings · 23/08/2025 19:39

I think it looks bloody amazing and I salute you for your hard work and tenacity! It looks a million times better!

Whatinthedoopla · 23/08/2025 19:47

Great job OP!!

ellyeth · 23/08/2025 19:54

I am so impressed with your makeover - it looks so much better. I wouldn't be able to tackle a job like that, and I think your husband is very thoughtless and ungrateful. Well done to you!

At least your mother in law and Mum appreciate your efforts. You need to give yourself a pat on the back and ignore your husband's comments. If he was so bothered, he should have taken steps to do it himself or ask for help from someone,.

exaltedwombat · 23/08/2025 19:59

Looked ok before, looks much the same now. What’s wrong with a 40-year-old kitchen anyway?

LucyMonth · 23/08/2025 20:01

I think it looked perfectly fine for another couple of years before. You’ve done a great job but I don’t think it was an essential patch up before the full renovation.

So in that sense I think YABU to complain about not having help from DH, FIL or your DHs friend. If DH didn’t see the value in it then I don’t see why he should have to participate in it. & as an interior designer it is fucking infuriating when “friends” expect to use my services for free or for a bunch of flowers so asking DHs friend to help would have been a shitty thing to do IMO.

Megank1989 · 23/08/2025 20:04

Bloody hell that looks sensational - what a fabulous floor you’ve uncovered! I would never dare to take that on, incredible work 👏👏👏

WhatAWetLettuce · 23/08/2025 20:10

You’ve made an amazing difference OP. It looks really great.

Shame on your DH for not appreciating everything you’ve done.