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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
wibdib · 23/08/2025 20:16

It’s looking great op - a definite improvement and it will make you do much happier for the few years that you have to be in it so enjoy it! If DH doesn’t care then that’s fine he can keep quiet seeing as he isn’t prepared to put any money or effort into sorting out the issues.

I’m impressed that you’ve done it so quickly - my house is about 30 years old and has an orange pine kitchen with orange tiled floor which I hate but live with because when I moved in I had small kids and everyone said to wait until they were bigger, when I would know what the kitchen was like and how to reorganise it better and until the dc wouldn’t bash into the cupboard doors… needless to say, there was never a good time to do it and other than getting rid of the awful wallpaper and painting the walls white, it’s all exactly the same and I can’t see that we will be here for another 20 years, probably 10 tops, so now going to wait for next horse and do something soon after moving in there - I’m already collecting ideas! 😆
The only thing I’m going to have to do soon is buy a new cooker s ours is falling apart. Did think about using it as an excuse to redo the kitchen but don’t want to spend the ££££that would need to make it into what I’d love, so going to get a new range cooker off eBay for half price (don’t really care that there will be a few little scratches on it for the money!) So it fits in the same place and it will be a more efficient cooker as it’s new; I’ve always hated the old one as it’s completely illogical and doesn’t work particularly well but think that a new bargain range is sadly going to be the way forward for now - and hopefully it will give me a push to tidy the place up a bit and make it much nicer to use than it is for now, even if the late 80s orange pine kitchen doors do continue to assault our eyes for a few more years!

You’ve done the right thing jumping in and making it nice for the next few years - if DH complains think of the cost as looking after your mental health. I’m guessing he doesn’t do much of the cooking or work in the kitchen so it’s your choice that matters most!

goingtotown · 23/08/2025 20:19

Change or paint the baseboard under the sink. You’ve done a lovely job.

WhereIsMyJumper · 23/08/2025 20:28

I know you’ve had loads of responses already OP but I really feel for you. I think you should be really proud of what you’ve achieved here, it looks so much better and it’s not easy learning these things as you go!

I did my house up recently before I moved in to it, had never even picked up a drill before but managed to lay laminate floor, use a wall sander, put panelling up on my walls, put coving up, change electric light switches etc. I was so proud of what I had achieved but I was lucky in the sense that there was only me living there, so I didn’t need anyone else to love it. I did have some lovely comments from friends and family though.

The main thing is, when you walk in and see your work, are YOU proud of it? Because you should be

cocoromo · 23/08/2025 20:38

It looks much better - well done 👍

Theyreeatingthedogs · 23/08/2025 20:48

Kitchen looks good. You DH is a dickhead.

StarCurator · 23/08/2025 20:50

As others have said, you have done a great job; I think that it looks great. As per other comments, a blind would look good, and maybe a plant or two, but essentially it's much improved and I don't see any problem at all. Presumably your husband was fully aware of the financial implications of buying a large house in a very good catchment area for schools, but is now carping about not having a state-of-art kitchen, and that is annoying.

I am old school, though, as I am extremely ancient (65). My parents married in the early 1950s when rationing was still happening, building materials were very scarce, and the idea of having a kitchen completely renovated was a fantasy. We had the same, slightly crummy, kitchen throughout our childhood, but never noticed it. Our parents, who likely thought like you, valued education, and we were never short of books or intellectual stimulation, but were less fussy about our home, and I think that they were right. I have lived in a house that was built in 1999 for four years; the kitchen, which is original, is pretty horrible, and I am hoping to replace it next summer, but I am taking my time! Most of the other houses in the little enclave where I live have had at least one, in some cases two renovations, which to me seems unnecessary and wasteful. You can have a fancy kitchen later on, when you have the fund, but in the mean time, you are being totally reasonable and instilling good values in your children. :-)

Tapsthemic · 23/08/2025 20:51

It looks amazing OP! I’m in a similar boat to you and about to embark on a “make it nice for now” makeover. I’d be super proud of a kitchen update like yours x

Blipette · 23/08/2025 20:55

I think it’s looks great, just need a nice floor xx

Onthemaintrunkline · 23/08/2025 21:04

You should be so so proud of yourself! To have done all this work yourself without a bit of help…words fail! AND it looks amazing.

Your H needs a kick up the backside for his unhelpful, sulky, critical behaviour…what on earth is the matter with him? How dare he burst your bubble!

Congratulations, you’ve done so well.

carly2803 · 23/08/2025 21:05

absolutely brilliant change well done!!

I am not a fan of the floor, a much more modern floor would help it more.
Your husband needs to step up or shut up - and tell him this

Pipsquiggle · 23/08/2025 21:10

It's great OP. You should be really proud of your work

We changed the handles with an old kitchen and it made such a difference. We called it our £80 renovation

Mimilamore · 23/08/2025 21:13

Well done, good job!

Someone2025 · 23/08/2025 21:19

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

Definitely an improvement from what can be seen in the photos, a bright yoke yellow blind would really add to it

the5thgoldengirl · 23/08/2025 21:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

LovesToMunchPlants · 23/08/2025 21:24

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

You've done a great job considering you're on a budget - you've totally modernised it and got rid of the dated look. Don't compare it to a new kitchen - that will come - just view the improvement you've made! I think it looks really good and you should be proud of yoir achievement

Pres11 · 23/08/2025 21:30

It looks so much better! Well done! I’ve done this twice - in two different houses, because my life is ‘making do, because I can’t afford’ but you be happy with what you’ve achieved! You are the one that lives there and you’ve made it nicer for you. X

HereForTheFreeLunch · 23/08/2025 21:31

That's really good OP. I was in the same situation 20 years ago - all I did was get some stickers for the tiles. Maybe my bar is very low but I think it looks better and if it uplifts your mood when you see it, it's worth it.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 23/08/2025 21:34

Amazing job 🌟

27pilates · 23/08/2025 21:34

That looks great OP. Well done.

FizzingAda · 23/08/2025 21:35

When we bought out house forty years ago it had one grotty kitchen unit, we couldn't afford to install a new kitchen. I went to the DIY store where they had odd end of line units going for peanuts, we bought some and fitted them, I,painted all the doors with textured paint to cover the different grooved finishes, painted them all cream and bought wooden knobs which I painted red(the Lino was red). It looked fresh and the cabinets looked the same if you didn't look too closely, and lasted a few years til we could afford a bespoke kitchen.
just ignore the naysayers and be proud of what you've done, it looks great.

chipshopElvis · 23/08/2025 21:37

It looks loads nicer now OP. Well done, it does not look old!!

Hammy65 · 23/08/2025 21:41

What a difference! You’ve done a really good job there 😊! Your kitchen looks great!

Lilywisp · 23/08/2025 21:44

I think it looks great…be proud !

Lilactimes · 23/08/2025 21:48

Well done!! Looks great you should feel really proud xx

HellieWelly · 23/08/2025 22:01

It looks great. It’s also encouraged me to do something similar, so thank you! Our house has an old Ikea kitchen which was in when we bought it in 2008. Did you do the door panels yourself or buy pre-made and attach them? If you did them yourself - even more impressive!