To make a 20+ year old share a bedroom?

[Pinkycloud]

I have 4 dc (20 ds, 19 dd, 13 dd, 11 ds). 4 bed house so one room for us and three for kids. For years the youngest two shared. Now youngest is in with us on sofa bed, but this needs to stop. The two girls can’t share, it would literally make all our lives a misery. I think the boys should share but eldest ds not happy and I can see his point. Or do I get youngest two to share again, even though different sex? Or do we spend £20k on garage conversion to get extra room?! Help!

There are millions of young adults up to the age of 30 living at home because of the cost of living.

Do any of the children pay rent?

OP seems to have vanished…
Has there been a change in family circumstance or an adult child who has changed their mind about moving out? Otherwise, I’m surprised it’s taken this long to start thinking about it.
You haven’t answered anyone questions about whether either of the older ones is close to moving out or at uni, but assuming not, I think your best bet would be the garage extension since you mentioned it as a possibility.

Spend the money!

No, I'm not saying it should be like Victorian times. However, sharing a bedroom with a sibling is hardly regressive.

Open the box!

Agree! The pp who said that you can buy a property on 1 minimum wage salary is living in cloud cuckoo land! And how much would lenders be willing to lend? Probably not enough in many areas! Also what do this family do while the DS saves for 3-5 yrs for his deposit?

It might never have bern easy for 19-20 yr olds to move out but it’s never been harder than it is now! Rents gave spiralled, even a scruffy student flat share is £800 + in most cities.

And most wouldn’t move out till marriage especially the girls! Unless they went into service or similar.

This, definitely. You’re giving them too much power otherwise

Seriously? Children have shared bedrooms for centuries!

garage conversion

I don't think it's inappropriate for a 20 year old to share with his 11 year old brother. Why?

Yes, one is a fully grown man and the other still a child but so what? What do people think might happen?

The cheapest option for us was to build a storage/lounge space for our DS - his hobby was taking over the house. One lovely 3x5 metre cabin later, and he moved out of the house into the cabin!

Didn’t need plumbing in, it had lights/heating/electrics and if he needed anything in the night, he was very happy to let himself in by the back door.
He lived there for eight years but recently moved in with his partner - now we have a lovely garden room!

Controversial but I’d make them all share!

use the two smallest rooms as ‘dormitories’, one for the boys, one for the girls. Then convert the largest bedroom into a shared hangout space… Small sofa bed for emergencies, a shared desk, shared dressing table, small TV on the wall, and overspill storage (coats and shoes for example).

A very cheap solution with no permanent changes to your house. Keep the actual bedrooms very strictly for sleeping and changing only.

If they are full siblings, I don’t see the issue?

Id eldest ds or dd don’t like the decision surely they can move out?

The 19 and 20 year olds should be thinking of moving out.
Parents aren't under an obligation to house their offspring for life. If they do want to live with you while they're studying or saving to get established in life fine, but it's not unreasonable to expect them to share with younger siblings.

Oh please. My dad shared a room with four brothers. Some people act like a child not having their own room is child abuse.

Ridiculous

What was your original plan, after the second child was born?

Don’t be silly, how many kids can afford to move out at 19/20 given the cost of housing and the fact that there aren’t enough jobs for graduates?

My kids have a home for life should they want one. I hope they don’t, but imagine how they’d feel knowing that no one has their back in this economic climate.

I shared a room with my younger sister (5 year gap) until I went to uni. It won’t kill them.

You chose to have four children. What did you think was going to happen? Were you assuming the oldest would be out of the house before this became an issue?

I think its more the weekend issues of the 20yo coming in late, being drunk 🥴 and noisy normal 20yo stuff.
And a younger brother whos just 11 being disturbed by that.
The 20yo is potentially still in education, either full-time, or part-time so still needing space to study.
It just seems a massive age gap to share.

The girls are closer in age.

In MN world people always suggest dividing rooms. In many modern houses double rooms are designed to fit a double bed, getting two singles in is a challenge itself. Dividing them absolutely impossible

They’re both at an age when they need independence, 20 year old is also likely to be coming home late from drinking, out with friends etc and it’s not fair for the 11 year old to have his sleep disturbed. Similarly most 20 year olds are working or studying and need a quiet place to do such things.

Which in many parts of the country is completely unrealistic. In the South East or London a minimum wage job isn’t paying rent!