To make a 20+ year old share a bedroom?

[Pinkycloud]

I have 4 dc (20 ds, 19 dd, 13 dd, 11 ds). 4 bed house so one room for us and three for kids. For years the youngest two shared. Now youngest is in with us on sofa bed, but this needs to stop. The two girls can’t share, it would literally make all our lives a misery. I think the boys should share but eldest ds not happy and I can see his point. Or do I get youngest two to share again, even though different sex? Or do we spend £20k on garage conversion to get extra room?! Help!

The girls need to share whether they like it or not.

It’s also not realistic to expect a 20 year old to up and move out. They simply don’t have the money these days.

I would go for the garage conversion, which if it's done properly with building regs will add value to your house.

Yes the 20 year old should of course share. It will motivate him to make more money and become financially independent

Two girls in the biggest room with clever room divider while you get the conversion done.

Because they would kill each other perhaps?
a 19yo and a 13 yo ffs.

Time for the youngest child to have his own room.
The youngest daughter too; she is studying hard.

Your oldest son and oldest daughter could store their clothes in the same room but take turns, month about, in sleeping on the sofa until your garage fit out can be afforded to house your oldest son. Other ideas .. buy a small caravan, a garden room, convert loft accommodation?

I would not do the conversion. One of the older ones will move out before it’s finished.

I would be inclined to have the two boys share as a way of encouraging the oldest to move out.

Could you make the garage conversion cheaper? My partner is good at DIY could you not just insulate board it out and plaster. Obviously add a window but would be cheaper than 20k wouldn't make them share.

Unless you are anticipating the 20yr or 19yo moving out within the next 2 years I would convert the garage.

I would go for the garage conversion because I don’t think it’s fair for a 20 year old man to share with an 11 year old. Would he have to go to bed at the same time as the younger one? Couldn’t play his PlayStation at night? What if he wants to bring a partner back?
Failing that, the girls would have to share. My brothers used to have to share a room and there’s 6 years between them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are the 20 and 19 yo working/paying rent?

I would want to know what the 20 & 19 year olds are doing before I answer this question properly. Are they at uni and living at home? Working full time and contributing to the rent? If not, why not?

Personally I wouldn’t be paying 20k for an extension for everyone to have rooms when the oldest two are that age. Depending on the situation I’d make the two boys share and if the 20 year old doesn’t like it I would be reminding him he’s an adult now and free to spread his wings.

I think you need a bigger house or an extension.

This.

And in the meantime you could consider putting the sofa bed in the living room for you to sleep on until the extra bedroom is ready.

The 2 youngest need their own room now.

Ive just realised my family is different - my children are autistic and share a room - we have money to move but they kicked up hell (dont like change) so we stayed put. They are teenagers only one who has his own room is our boy as obviously he cant share with sisters. I have no idea if this will change in the future. Eldest is starting uni in september and chose to stay at home rather than move out.

in your situation i would do the garage conversion but if that would be financially difficult i woudl just make the closest in age girls share they will just have to cope with it if thats the only option.

WTF, no.

The age gaps are just too big. 19 and 13 isn’t much better than 20 and 11. It’s still an adult and a child (with puberty and teen hormones thrown into the mix) and it isn’t fair on anyone. You can’t mix sexes, so you’re going to have to get the conversion if you’re expecting the eldest two to stay at home for any meaningful length of time.

The 20 year old seems to be getting a lot of grief of commenters here, he's 20 year old, how many 20 year olds are fully in a financial position to move out, and of course he cant share with an 11 year old, he's 11.

Course in the world of MN every child has their own bedroom
. circumstances change, I had 4 DKs,nasty divorce, eventually social housing, first one was 2 beds,2 boys 7 years apart shared,I had single bedroom,sofa for me and youngest DD, oldest DD sofa in the living room, then we were allocated a 3 bedroom house. My DKs dgks shared for 10 years,DD private renting, even working ft 3rd bedroom was impossible.

Anyone away at uni gets to share.

Have you costed a garage conversion as 20k may not be enough.

Otherwise you look to divide the largest room, even if that is yours, with room dividers like this https://funkybunkbeds.com/product/room-divider-bunk-bed/

Don't reward the sisters' bad behaviour. They need to learn to share.

in theory, yup 😂
Reality, nope
2 hormonal girls, not gonna work

Agree with these 2 posts. Move or create another bedroom.