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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fucking fuming - child maintenance review

474 replies

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:20

Got child maintenance review today. DC dad declared he earned £13,248 last financial year. He claims he works 6 days a week and is always late picking dc up due to work and works every weekend even the Saturdays he has dc. He owes £1254 in arrears via the cms and £2500 from before I applied to the cms (obviously I have written that off) so now I get the princely sum of £29.30 a week but not before cms have taken their 4%.
is this a joke? How do men like this have no shame? I know there is nothing to be done I am just venting. I have never included his money in my budget thank god but that doesn’t mean I don’t need it! I work full time and I work hard but why do men think this is ok? Why do the girlfriends think this is ok? Why do the father’s parents think this is ok? I have 3 boys and no way would I be congratulating them on avoiding maintenance.
Oh, and he’s a plasterer 🤣
Fucking patriarchy.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
AgathaCristina · 21/08/2025 20:22

In other countries men go to jail if they don't pay child maintenance, here in England is disgusting how no one cares a father who is not financially responsable of his children.

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:23

It’s an absolute joke. I can’t prove he is earning more. CMS don’t care.

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FloweringBuds · 21/08/2025 20:29

My ex does this. Owns his own Ltd business. Pays himself a part time wage. And his employees a full time wage one being his girlfriend. Cms have said if that's how he chooses to run his business it's his choice as she is a paye employee and not receiving more than average wage . He had 3 other employees who also get full time pay. He takes no dividends either.

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:31

I have to laugh because otherwise I will cry - the world really is built for men. It’s a disgrace.
Why does nothing get done about these losers?

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BengalBangle · 21/08/2025 20:31

My review came through last week.
I'm now granted the princely sum of £3-ish per week for 2 x DC.
It's a fucking joke.

gamerchick · 21/08/2025 20:33

It's the one thing that would be a vote winner I think. But it's never touched on

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:33

BengalBangle · 21/08/2025 20:31

My review came through last week.
I'm now granted the princely sum of £3-ish per week for 2 x DC.
It's a fucking joke.

You couldn’t even buy an apple a day each for your dc for that!

OP posts:
UtterlyButterly2048 · 21/08/2025 20:34

It is beyond disgusting that these toads get away with this. Why should they be allowed to have no financial responsibility for their own children? It’s vile.

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:34

gamerchick · 21/08/2025 20:33

It's the one thing that would be a vote winner I think. But it's never touched on

How do we get it touched on then? What do we do? Because there is a fire in my belly right now to try and change this.

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Mustbethat · 21/08/2025 20:35

AgathaCristina · 21/08/2025 20:22

In other countries men go to jail if they don't pay child maintenance, here in England is disgusting how no one cares a father who is not financially responsable of his children.

How does that work then? If they’re in jail
they can’t pay maintenance, and when they get out they employment prospects with a criminal record will be nil…

so jail time will end any prospect of getting CM out of them. Seems self defeating.

better options would be to give cms more power to investigate earnings properly, especially in the case of the self employed, and be able to look at the business accounting.

ARichtGoodDram · 21/08/2025 20:36

Is he self employed?

UtterlyButterly2048 · 21/08/2025 20:36

Mustbethat · 21/08/2025 20:35

How does that work then? If they’re in jail
they can’t pay maintenance, and when they get out they employment prospects with a criminal record will be nil…

so jail time will end any prospect of getting CM out of them. Seems self defeating.

better options would be to give cms more power to investigate earnings properly, especially in the case of the self employed, and be able to look at the business accounting.

Quite. If HMRC can look in detail at your bank accounts and spending and social media for tax, why, exactly, can’t they do this for child maintenance?

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:38

I am going to say something very unpopular- it isn’t helped by mums who say they never claimed/ asked for maintenance and they did it themselves because that gives these so called men the impression that maintenance is optional.
I budget assuming no maintenance.
Maintenance shouldn’t be claimed, or chased or enforced - it should be a bloody given! It doesn’t matter how much money I have (barely any) or how much I earn (slightly above minimum wage) it should be shameful for men not to pay rather than be congratulated by their parents/family/ilk for avoiding it

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UncharteredWaters · 21/08/2025 20:39

Post on his business Facebook page…

’could everyone who employed x to plaster for them please get in touch or comment? Apparently he only earned 13,248 last year and only needs to pay £29 a week to keep 3 children?
Cant be right with his 6 days a week working!’

sit back and watch the fireworks!!

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:39

ARichtGoodDram · 21/08/2025 20:36

Is he self employed?

Yes. The cash goes straight in his pocket never to see anybody.

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Parky04 · 21/08/2025 20:39

The majority of men don't want kids. They agree, just to keep partner/wife happy. It's no surprise they won't support them if the relationship breaks down!!

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:40

UtterlyButterly2048 · 21/08/2025 20:36

Quite. If HMRC can look in detail at your bank accounts and spending and social media for tax, why, exactly, can’t they do this for child maintenance?

Because the money doesn’t go anywhere near his bank account. It goes straight into his pocket. He pays cash for everything.

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Faredodgers · 21/08/2025 20:41

I get that for 4 children only he doesn't have to pay it as he has debts that take priority.

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:41

Parky04 · 21/08/2025 20:39

The majority of men don't want kids. They agree, just to keep partner/wife happy. It's no surprise they won't support them if the relationship breaks down!!

I’m not sure I totally agree 100% but I don’t think you are wholly wrong.
in my situation he begged for a dc

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Figcherry · 21/08/2025 20:41

Mustbethat · 21/08/2025 20:35

How does that work then? If they’re in jail
they can’t pay maintenance, and when they get out they employment prospects with a criminal record will be nil…

so jail time will end any prospect of getting CM out of them. Seems self defeating.

better options would be to give cms more power to investigate earnings properly, especially in the case of the self employed, and be able to look at the business accounting.

Do you honestly think most men would choose jail?
And if they do then that's on them.

Jail is a deterrent for most people, why do you think shoplifting is a crime? If it wasn't even more people would steal.

glittercunt · 21/08/2025 20:42

Mine made me go through cms then went self employed and rigged it. Had less than a fiver a week for my toddler. Yet was told by a support service I had involved that if I didn't do things like keep on top of hair cuts, for example, that there would be problems because he's providing.... I was like, 5 a week, what would you like me to choose - does it go on a hair cut, or new shoes, or (listed various things) because it's such a piss in the ocean rhat it wasn't going to cover all of those things, sos which was it to be.

Side note, he was a millionaire with investments, bonds, property, income, inheritance.....

aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:43

Faredodgers · 21/08/2025 20:41

I get that for 4 children only he doesn't have to pay it as he has debts that take priority.

Are they debts from multi million companies like credit cards/utilities? Wouldn’t cost them anything to write it off and divert it to you

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aremenreallysuchcunts · 21/08/2025 20:43

glittercunt · 21/08/2025 20:42

Mine made me go through cms then went self employed and rigged it. Had less than a fiver a week for my toddler. Yet was told by a support service I had involved that if I didn't do things like keep on top of hair cuts, for example, that there would be problems because he's providing.... I was like, 5 a week, what would you like me to choose - does it go on a hair cut, or new shoes, or (listed various things) because it's such a piss in the ocean rhat it wasn't going to cover all of those things, sos which was it to be.

Side note, he was a millionaire with investments, bonds, property, income, inheritance.....

How is this ok?

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Faredodgers · 21/08/2025 20:44

Priority debts are debts owed to the government. He can take out a budgeting loan once a year then doesn't have to pay any maintenance till it's paid off when he can apply for another one.. and so on.

user764329056 · 21/08/2025 20:45

It’s a disgrace OP, my ex self employed London black cab driver, declared he earned pennies and I was awarded £10 a month, while he has gone on to buy overseas properties with what should have been child maintenance, it’s shameful and don’t see it ever changing