Fucking fuming - child maintenance review

[aremenreallysuchcunts]

Got child maintenance review today. DC dad declared he earned £13,248 last financial year. He claims he works 6 days a week and is always late picking dc up due to work and works every weekend even the Saturdays he has dc. He owes £1254 in arrears via the cms and £2500 from before I applied to the cms (obviously I have written that off) so now I get the princely sum of £29.30 a week but not before cms have taken their 4%.
is this a joke? How do men like this have no shame? I know there is nothing to be done I am just venting. I have never included his money in my budget thank god but that doesn’t mean I don’t need it! I work full time and I work hard but why do men think this is ok? Why do the girlfriends think this is ok? Why do the father’s parents think this is ok? I have 3 boys and no way would I be congratulating them on avoiding maintenance.
Oh, and he’s a plasterer 🤣
Fucking patriarchy.

Drives me insane and if any of my 2 son’s have children and split up then I’ll be hunting them down myself if they don’t support their child.

😱 really? Wtf?

Me too!

Nope. I refuse to believe we can’t change anything. I will not raise my daughter in a world where this is ok (she’s 20 so…🤣) and I will not raise my boys thinking supporting their child is optional!

It’s shameful really! And I agree with you … how can a new GF / parents think this is ok?!? At least your kids have a great mum who has a good work ethic xxx

If you spent £29 on your kids to clothe, feed, house etc. you’d rightly be charged with neglect. Why is it ok for them not to?

It's absolutely disgusting. My ex is a self employed carpenter and roofer. Earning good money. He's now stopped paying tax to avoid paying child maintenance. He's getting paid cash in hand. I have reported him to HMRC, but they can't trace him as he's now moved. He hasn't even told our children where he's moved to. Bastard!

The Children's Act may useful here.

https://kiddspoorlaw.co.uk/financial-provision-under-schedule-1-of-the-children-act/

Dh’s ex refused to pay cm when stepdc moved in with us for 6th form.

i quote “I’m not paying to have my kid taken off me”

family all turned against us as well saying how horrible we were even asking her to pay.

never got a penny. She was far better off than us as well.

I suppose it shows how very little they care for their children.
I’m also sceptical of women who ho on to have second and third families with these men, knowing full well how little maintenance they pay towards their existing children.
I have seen women encourage men not to pay maintenance or see much of their children.
Oh course the father is still 100% to blame but many people enable this behaviour.

That is definitely not how it works, CMS comes above money owed to the government. They would pay the CMS and reduce the budgeting loan payment. Plus budgeting loans don’t really exist anymore

They aren’t new grandparents. Dc is 11. They tell me to my face their son shouldn’t have to pay anything because I get UC - I don’t bloody want UC! I am working my damndest to get off it.
Dc currently experiences his amazing dad buying him McDonald’s twice a month and new toys each visit. I can’t compete with that. It’s a treat when I say I’ll lay the table for even though it’s his turn 😂 and if he’s lucky I’ll let him off loading the dishwasher though I rarely go that far 🙈

Unfortunately there is a girlfriend with her own dc who encourages him not to pay (until I went to cms) but he was unreliable before he met her

Yes it is, I'm literally in this situation and I meant budgeting advance I'm not up to date with the newer terms on UC but yes it absolutely is true!

I honestly thought the CMS know how much they earn?? Or are you talking about income the exs don't put through the books? My ex has just set this up for me to start in September, I was told they see his income?

Don’t know about this, most blokes I know who have left the family home have gone on to have kids with their new woman. But maybe they don’t really want them, either!

This is exactly why we need to get rid of cash. It’s just allowing the likes of him to enable fraud. It’s disgusting. He should be jailed.

It only applies to those on benefits not those that work.

Yes. The cash goes straight in his pocket never to see anybody.

If you can get your MP involved then push CMS and HMRC to do a variation based on his lifestyle being inconsistent with income (i think it's called something different now).

Keep a note of anything you know like holidays, new cars, anything that shows he has a much higher income.

Does he own a home or does he rent?

It’s income declared to HMRC

Lives with his girlfriend in a HA property. No idea where he is registered though.

It’s bloody awful, OP, hats off to you for not becoming murderous. I feel very lucky my ex pays, yet why should I feel lucky? That should be the absolute bear minimum. You don’t hear about women being classed as good parents because they pay so their children don’t starve.
The bar is in hell!

Yes this happened to me, he was perfect before we concieved then turned into a monster! Already dodged payments, hoping from September it will all be legit and I wont have to worry 🙏

That is definitely not how it works, CMS comes above money owed to the government. They would pay the CMS and reduce the budgeting loan payment. Plus budgeting loans don’t really exist anymore

Money owed to the government is higher priority than CMS from benefit deductions.

On universal credit, for example, child maintenance is 13th and 14th on the list of priority debts.

Ah I see, can you 'declare his income' for him?!