Ruined my life I’m a stupid idiot

[Nope11]

Been with DH 14 years and the past year or so between us has been hell. I don’t feel loved, cared for, nothing. We sleep together 1/2 times a week. He’s always saying something about my weight. Just needed someone to talk to so I signed up to a dating website. Long story short me and someone ended up exchanging pictures/videos.

I feel utterly sick. I’m a horrible person and I’ll admit to what I did later on. If he leaves me and tells my family so be it. I deserve it.

I sound like I’m self pitying and maybe I am but I feel sick with my actions and will own up

A cry for help because you are no longer connecting with a DH who has clearly checked out of the marriage, to the point where he is using his wife as a blow up doll. Depends on what your definition of a marriage is doesn’t it ?

But you weren’t happy, so did it for a reason. Maybe this is the right time to end your marriage.

I didn't get that @HeadDeskHeadDesk was judging or suggesting the OP was a "slut".

As someone who is ashamed of my body, the thought of photographing it makes me absolutely cringe, let alone sharing the pictures with anyone else.

That is NOT the same as saying that women who do are wrong in any way. I admire women with body confidence and I detest the whole concept of "slut".

Perhaps @Nope11 actually has a conventionally lovely body - some men do just like to bring their partners down.

That is exactly my point. People do love to project on these threads, don't they? At no point did I say the OP was a slut or anything like it. I said she was attention seeking for validation. As someone with low body confidence and anxiety over my looks in spite of never having been more than a size 16-18 and being told I am pretty my whole life, sending people nude photos to a stranger is the last thing I can imagine doing.

I am the person who has spent most of my life ducking out of photos, or struggling to relax and look natural because I hate my smile and I can't stop focusing on the asymmetry of my features. Any photo where I am more than a size 10 or 12 I just feel l look enormous. I cringe at having to look at photos of myself where I look less than perfect, which is obviously the vast majority of them. I've never posted a pouty, or sexily posed selfie in my life. It feel ridiculously arrogant and deluded to do so. I cringe inside out at women and girls who do this in the hope of attracting load of complimentary comments about how gorgeous they are. I know objectively I probably don't look any worse than the next person, but it's not a logical thing I am dealing with here. Even if I did think I was beautiful or had a greet figure, I still can't imagine trying to draw attention to myself that way. It's not in my nature to fish for compliments so brazenly.

In my experience the sorts of people who do this sort of thing generally have quite high opinions of their own looks and like to have that validated by other people because they have delicate egos that need regularly boosting. That's not the same thing as having low confidence over your looks or body image. Not the same at all.

Not only that, they're there to listen to anyone.

They are for anyone to talk to who is on distress .

I sympathise with you to a certain extent OP. You are obviously unhappy in your marriage ,but what you did won't help you at all. If it were me I would address the problems in my marriage. Talk to your husband. Decide if you can save your marriage.
But stop what you are doing. It is wrong. If you confess he won't forgive you. Turn over a new leaf. Try and save your marriage.if you can't then separating is the only answer.