Ruined my life I’m a stupid idiot

[Nope11]

Been with DH 14 years and the past year or so between us has been hell. I don’t feel loved, cared for, nothing. We sleep together 1/2 times a week. He’s always saying something about my weight. Just needed someone to talk to so I signed up to a dating website. Long story short me and someone ended up exchanging pictures/videos.

I feel utterly sick. I’m a horrible person and I’ll admit to what I did later on. If he leaves me and tells my family so be it. I deserve it.

I sound like I’m self pitying and maybe I am but I feel sick with my actions and will own up

How is sending naked pics to other men on a dating website not cheating?

Don’t be too hard on yourself
do you have a confidante I ?have found that being at a low ebb can be a catalyst for change nature abhors a vacuum

Why on earth say the Samaritans?
Judgemental, sarcastic Mumsnetters that’s who.
OP appears to have a shitty relationship however she wasn’t unfaithful. Not that it’s right to send sexy pics but she didn’t act on it.

And unhappiness.

That's a horrible thing to say OP. Someone tells you not to cheat and that's what you come up with?

Is this really how you think of other women?

I don’t think you need to tell your dh because it will only make him feel awful.

I think you tell him you want a divorce and look into therapy.

Do you have friends around who can support you?

I think signing up for a dating website is unfaithful in itself.

i don’t think that was the chat OP was looking for. she was not looking for sympathy what she wanted was someone to make her feel valued and validated as if she was desirable something her husband was clearly not doing

I wouldn't be in that relationship in the first place,

but it's a few photos. I know this is MN, where a man smiling at another woman on the school run or waving at the neighbour is a lowlife individual who needs to be dumped immediately, but I don't live on MN 😂

Thankfully my husband and I are very happy & faithful. Probably because we are adults who are capable of communicating and finding people to chat to without having to take our clothes off eh?

When I was lonely I signed up to MN. It's been a godsend over the years. And no naked pics needed.

Congratulations I guess🤷🏻‍♀️

I honestly feel really sorry for you and how low your bar must be to think someone signing up for a DATING website and sending sexual photos to another person is in any way comparable to smiling at someone on the school run.

Nah. He’s been bullying her for years. Don’t give him ammo to bully her even more.
the marriage is shit.
OP end it and create a new life.

I think we all know they weren’t…

I think it’s best you put your phone down now OP.

This thread clearly isn’t helping you, or providing any support.

You are spending your evening arguing with other posters and having back and forth childish sky digs. This won’t make you feel any better.

You should be spending your evening communicating with your husband. The marriage can’t go on like this. You both seem incredibly unhappy and like you’ve both checked out.

There was no physical contact? They probably don’t know each others name! Not saying it’s right but it’s not cheating!

'Not getting much at home?' Yeah, that's what women say to other women, all the time. Especially by women whose dh's think they are too fat - and so console themselves by taking naked photos for a stranger. <Checks calendar> 🤔

the amount of condescending replies saying there are other people to talk to. do none of you get what OP wanted from the person was validation that she was still desirable and someone she could at least emotionally also be available in a way her husband was not. this is not something a chat with friend or family would have fixed

Was there any need to say "stop acting thick"?

Touched a nerve by the sounds of things🥴🤣

yes

If you were in a Happy Families set of playing cards you'd be Mrs Smug.

The amount of people on this thread bending over nsckwards trying to stick up for the OP despite what's she did is completely laughable Just because she's a woman. Who now tells another woman she's obviously bitter and "not getting any at home"