To think he was slightly rude on our date?

[Casseroledarling]

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

If he's making you feel like that on a first date when he should be on best behaviour, I doubt he'll improve if you choose to stick around.

You don't need to be made to feel like that.

It's a throw away line.

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

Isn’t that the whole point of food? You eat, you get up and move, after a while you eat again. Am I missing some vital part where you have to flutter your eyelashes and say ‘ooh I couldn’t possibly finish all that’?

I absolutely love those competitive eating threads 😁.

Tell him if he wants a woman who faints through lack of fuel then you’re not the one for him.

I don’t think I would react to that except to say - yes, now where is dessert. But people always joke at how much I eat and how quickly I polish it off, perhaps because I am petite and they assume I have a tiny stomach 🙄

the dinner was £19 for basic chicken and potatoes! Of course I was going to finish it all😂😭

Ewwww. The smirk/laugh following a nasty comment would turn me straight off. Don't see him again OP find someone else

Yeah he may well have not meant anything by it but it was rude and would very much put me off as well. I hate being made to feel self conscious about what I eat.

Any man who tries to make a woman feel embarrassed about eating is a dick.

Completely agree.

My in-laws comment about what people are eating, what flavour, how is it? etc. MIL will make exactly the same comments every meal. It's a bit annoying, but maybe he's just making boring conversation.

It really isn't.

That would be my last date with him. The fact he smirked is awful. He sounds like a bully.

That would really put me off him, I hate people commenting on what I’ve eaten (years of growing up with a performative under-eating mother).

I would raise it with him - his reaction will tell you a lot about him. If he says “god, it was only a throwaway joke, lighten up” or “well you had put a fair bit of food away”, you can think about whether you want to just walk away. If he looks shocked and says “I’m really sorry it made you feel like that, I meant it lightheartedly but perhaps it came out wrong” then you can give him another chance.

Ignore the red flag at your peril, OP.

I agree with everyone except the one who thinks of it as a throw away line.

That's horrific.

If someone said that I'd assume it meant that the food was really good.

He sounds like a tosser. What were you supposed to do with your dinner?

OK, the way you describe it, I wouldn't even give that a second thought. In fact, I would have laughed. I honestly think he was happy to see that you had enjoyed it.

What I did find rude was my ex MIL say that I was 'still stuffing my face' once and overhearing her ask her husband to make sure mine was a 'small portion' as I had apparently had a huge sandwich for lunch.

I do not think he was rude at all and if he is otherwise nice, I would mention it to him (if you are still interested in him).

The smirk is what makes it unforgivable. He'd finished before you - I bet he ate everything, didn't he?

You wouldn't go on a second date with a man who made a throwaway, neutral remark about polishing off a meal, but you did marry a man who literally calls you a pig every time you eat?

I find that men who let this kind of comment slip early on just get worse and worse. My last bf was like this. I stuck with him for 8 months by which time he'd become insufferable. I'd run!

I would have ordered a dessert...

If he does that again or comments in a similar vein, I'd challenge him. The smirk afterwards is what I find alarming. Makes it seem like a veiled insult.