Page 6 | To think he was slightly rude on our date?

Cinaferna · 21/08/2025 14:34

I absolutely HATE people commenting on how much others (or they themselves) eat. I had to sit with a colleague and a client the other day both with side-plate portions of pasta, apologising for how much they were eating and how they wouldn't have dinner that night and on and on. I felt like screaming shut the fuck up and talk about something interesting. I don't care how much or little you eat. It's not my business nor a worthwhile conversation.

His comment would really put me off him. I can't respect a man who thinks he has the right to judge a woman's appetite.

Catpiece · 21/08/2025 14:36

MounjaroMounjaro · 21/08/2025 12:09

It really isn't.

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No it isn’t. He can get to fuck

PolkaDotPorridge · 21/08/2025 14:48

It was rude. Bin for him!

Rosebudxo · 21/08/2025 14:49

I wouldn’t have given it a second thought personally and would have probably given a quick remark back and laughed as I imagine that’s all he was trying to do with you - unless he’s done something like this before or has form for offending you?

PurpleChrayn · 21/08/2025 14:50

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

I’m sorry - if he CATCHES you eating?

Festivespirit85 · 21/08/2025 14:54

That's a red flag! You start to get serious with him and before you know it he is controlling how much you eat. When someone shows you who they are, believe them!

Festivespirit85 · 21/08/2025 14:58

LBFseBrom · 21/08/2025 14:14

I thought that, it wasn't nasty. I doubt he 'smirked', he smiled. He's probably pleased to be with someone who enjoys their food, I do and wouldn't take such a remark as a criticism. It sounds friendly, he is at ease with you and you reading too much into it, in my opinion.

People say things off the top of their heads, no harm intended but I do think sometimes it's best to say nothing :).

If there is something else that makes you wary about him, fair enough, but this on its own is nothing.

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Were you there? No, so you can't say it wasn't that way! The OP was on her date and that's how she described it!
It's not acceptable to comment on how much food someone has or hasn't eaten.

considertheravens · 21/08/2025 15:02

It's called negging ('subtle insults to undermine another person's confidence, with the goal of making them seek the manipulator's approval and validation' and always keeping the victim of it ground down).

He's a prick, and this kind of shit will continue. I would dump now.

30Plants · 21/08/2025 15:03

Food police much?

Someone2025 · 21/08/2025 15:03

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 11:57

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

Ditch him, he’s one of these idiots who comes out with silly, insulting, offensive comments and then tries to pass them off as jokes and then accuses people of being sensitive if they say anything to him

FlayOtters · 21/08/2025 15:04

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

I'm sorry, if your DH 'catches' you eating?? As in, the thing you have to do multiple times a day to, you know, stay alive??

Poopeepoopee · 21/08/2025 15:05

Hmmm, perhaps he went out with the expectation that this was going to be a nice long leisurely dinner date with conversation. Was he paying?

How long did it take you to eat it? I've got visions now of you eating the lot in 10 minutes without making small talk.

Can you see where the misunderstanding might be? How long were you actually in the restaurant for? If it was £19 for chicken it must have been a nice restaurant.

Kubricklayer · 21/08/2025 15:08

Louiestopit · 21/08/2025 14:29

Me. He later said that was the moment he knew he really wanted to spend more time with me 🤣🤣

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Just to play devils advocate this comment is technically negging whilst the poster clearly finds it endearing. So when is a negging comment not negging?

So for a comment not to be seen as negging is this dependent on knowing how the person will likely receive it? But whilst dating you don't fully know how well someone will receive anything.

Some people have dark humour and perhaps throw a morbid comment out that isn't well received. Surely you have to take risks when dating to ensure you and the other person are the right fit?

Eventually you have to relax into your normal behaviour otherwise you and your date will end up behaving like polite robots indefinitely.

AhBiscuits · 21/08/2025 15:09

I immediately thought it was negging too.
It's very easy to tell whether someone is making an innocent observation or trying to shame you from their tone and mannerisms. If it made you feel bad then it's probably the latter.
FWIW, I would have absolutely hated this and felt uncomfortable and self conscious eating in front of him going forward.

DirtyDancing · 21/08/2025 15:09

YetiRosetti · 21/08/2025 12:03

Yeah he may well have not meant anything by it but it was rude and would very much put me off as well. I hate being made to feel self conscious about what I eat.

I agree he may not have meant it to come across in that way. But I wouldn’t like it either. I’d test his response to this in early dating. If he is genuine he will apologise and look/ sound shocked. Would give a second chance. If he turns it around on you (you are over reacting / you are being sensitive etc) then it’s a goodbye

EastEndQueen · 21/08/2025 15:10

I’d be out of that date like a shot. It’s RUDE and displays horrible underlying assumptions about women and appetite and how grateful the world is for his ‘insight’

I was furious at a pub quiz in a central London on Monday when the man doing the quiz strolled over to our table, mic in hand and said ‘Look at all that food! Have you been fasting for a week to eat it?’. Humiliating and unnecessary (it was one main course per person from the pub menu, not that it matters…)

EastEndQueen · 21/08/2025 15:10

I’d be out of that date like a shot. It’s RUDE and displays horrible underlying assumptions about women and appetite and how grateful the world is for his ‘insight’

I was furious at a pub quiz in a central London on Monday when the man doing the quiz strolled over to our table, mic in hand and said ‘Look at all that food! Have you been fasting for a week to eat it?’. Humiliating and unnecessary (it was one main course per person from the pub menu, not that it matters…)

Sunnyscribe · 21/08/2025 15:11

I mean I wouldn't end the relationship over it, but yeah a bit of a confusing comment when your just eating your dinner.

Louiestopit · 21/08/2025 15:12

Kubricklayer · 21/08/2025 15:08

Just to play devils advocate this comment is technically negging whilst the poster clearly finds it endearing. So when is a negging comment not negging?

So for a comment not to be seen as negging is this dependent on knowing how the person will likely receive it? But whilst dating you don't fully know how well someone will receive anything.

Some people have dark humour and perhaps throw a morbid comment out that isn't well received. Surely you have to take risks when dating to ensure you and the other person are the right fit?

Eventually you have to relax into your normal behaviour otherwise you and your date will end up behaving like polite robots indefinitely.

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I didn’t see it like that. It was years later, after we’d been married ages that he said that (we were looking at old photos).

We were joking around. I’m sure he didn’t only want to see me again because I could stuff down dumplings. It was just a comment after a photo of me doing the same thing with a friend at buffet.

I’ve often said I wanted to marry him because he can cook a great curry. of course, that’s not the actual reason I wanted to marry him.

You can have a laugh together while reminiscing without it being that deep.

Pherian · 21/08/2025 15:12

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 11:57

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He was low key bullying you about food and eventually it will be about your body.

ShortRun · 21/08/2025 15:13

My last 'date" loved that I could enjoy food..... We got married 😂😂😂😂

Kubricklayer · 21/08/2025 15:14

OP next time try firing back a reply such as...

Date: Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?
OP: You seem to have a problem with keeping up. Is that common for you?

Frugalgal · 21/08/2025 15:15

He might be one of these weirdos who thinks it's 'unladylike' to eat much.

If there is a next time, bin him..

Owly11 · 21/08/2025 15:18

He sounds like a jerk, at least you found out sooner rather than later.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 21/08/2025 15:23

Poopeepoopee · 21/08/2025 15:05

Hmmm, perhaps he went out with the expectation that this was going to be a nice long leisurely dinner date with conversation. Was he paying?

How long did it take you to eat it? I've got visions now of you eating the lot in 10 minutes without making small talk.

Can you see where the misunderstanding might be? How long were you actually in the restaurant for? If it was £19 for chicken it must have been a nice restaurant.

Why are people insinuating op had finished first, it doesn't say that in her post, in fact it says the opposite