To think he was slightly rude on our date?

[Casseroledarling]

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

It's very greedy to want another thread so soon after the last one. Do you really need a competitive eating thread? We've lost sight of what a healthy amount of threads looks like.

Well he would have been slightly reasonable if you had leant over, pinched his roast potatoes ( not a euphemism) and said “I’ll finish these off for you, shall I ? “ then flagged down the waiter for the dessert menu and ordered a double sticky toffee pudding , no sharing. But you didn’t , you ate a normal sized meal, and enjoyed it.

Either he is one of ten children who all kept a close eye on their siblings plates to make sure everything was fair and now has serious food issues, or he is rude with a big mouth and feet that fit inside his gob.

I think you can do better.

Why are you still married to him?!

Absolutely. It was a nasty comment and a put down, snd I would have felt embarrassed and upset too.

It was a third date, I’d expect someone to be on their absolute best and most charming behaviour. He’s not as nice as the OP thought. No one wants to be with someone who puts them down or makes them feel self-conscious.

Not at all. If a date said that to me, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. No wonder they walk on egg shells, half the time.

It would give me the ick too, OP. I hate negging and sneering behaviour.

If you’d been dating longer and were emotionally invested then I’d raise it with him. Given it’s 3 dates in, I’d just say you’re not feeling a spark.

You need to be with someone who makes you feel good and comfortable

Yanbu. Dump!
Dud he eat all his and was it the same size?

Can we not have thread-shaming, please? We don’t yuck someone’s yum!

It's a weird thing to say to your children tbh.

OP, he's an arsehole. There's just no need to comment on what other people eat.

I had a colleague that said to me with shock ‘what, you eat breakfast, lunch AND dinner?’ 🤷‍♀️

Yes, that was my take too. Maybe he's used to dating women who eat like birds so it was refreshing for him to eat with a woman who enjoys her food? If he was bothered about you being a size 14 there wouldn't have been a third date so I think he likes your curves . :)

And I say that as someone who normally hates people commenting on portion sizes etc ...

Fucking hell - so you're eating your meal, you notice your companion has finished theirs and make a jokey statement. It's now a dumping offence. If you tell him why you're dumping OP, believe me, he will be the one seeing a red flag.

I don’t like smirking so I’d bin. Those people are having a private laugh at your expense, and also communicating a message.

Major red flag to me.

I had one date say "hope you don't mind me saying but you have rather a lot of make up on" on our first date when we went out for a meal that i paid for which was around the £60 mark.

Second date just happened to be the weekend after his Birthday and I'd spent £40 already on his b'day present.

He was seriously angry that I'd suggested he pick up the tab on a meal that was about £40.

Wasn't long before he became demanding, insensitive and downright abusive to me. It ended soon after.

Common sense!

The make up comment is completely different - that is controlling. If this date had said hope you don't mind but I think you eat a bit too fast- also controlling. To say something that's really saying you must have enjoyed that and to take offence- over sensitive.

So he actually finished his meal first, therefore ate quicker than you, then made a snide remark about you eating fast? Yeah that's rude.

Unless you're one of those people who noticeably eats at the speed of sound and he said that comment out of genuine surprise. Which seems very unlikely. Maybe he's the type who thinks women should pick delicately at dainty little portions then leave most of it.

Maybe his ex ate like a bird and had food issues? Maybe he was smug he had found a woman not obsessed with calories.
When me and dh started dating he made a comment that he was glad I wasn't bothered about expensive gifts. I was a bit hurt he thought I wasn't worth gifts... But his ex judged his feelings by how many bags and shoes he bought her...
We've been married for 10 years and the small thoughtful gifts do mean more...

Without the smirk it would have been ok to say. It really depends on the tone and if you feel he has been rude and implying something negative then that is what happened and I wouldnt be wanting to have dinner with him again.

The smirk was probably nothing, except acknowledging what OP said and getting on with his own food. Sorry OP, but I think you're being paranoid. You've mentioned your size, which isn't big, anyway.

No fourth date for him.

These men know what they're doing.

Fair point.

If that is a comment about the amount you just ate on your third date then future comments will only get worse.

Your husband calls you "little piggy" and you think the OP should bin this man off?!?!

Just said the same thing!!!