To think he was slightly rude on our date?

[Casseroledarling]

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

You’d be hard pressed to spot the subtle first signs of control I’m afraid.

I hate feeling judged when eating (especially if it is a buffet !!!!!!!!)

Maybe see if it is a recurring thing. when you eat If so, challenge and if he continues then ditch him !

Yes, very dull charmless comment. Bin him!

Either he is someone who makes himself feel big by making you feel small. Or he is one of these idiots who think it is important for a lady to leave half her meal for him to eat.

I would not bother with a 4th date.

It wouldn't have bothered me, I eat very fast always have done, so does everyone in my family. I enjoy my food and always finish my plate. I'm not sure why it's seen as offensive to be observed enjoying your meal. I eat faster than my DW (same sex couple) and it's a running joke now that she'll still be eating 10 minutes after I finish. Neither of us are offended.

To me the phrase "polishing it off" denotes greediness so I think he was nagging you.

Perhaps go on one more date but if he says anything like this ask him exactly what he means by his remark?

It's bloody rude! Especially for someone you've met 3 times only

I'd hate to be dating these days.

If DH catches me eating

Do you normally eat in secret?

This wouldn't offend me but I wouldn't comment on how fast someone ate if I didn't know them (especially if they were overweight tbh)

If I said this to someone it would be a compliment. I love to see people enjoying their food.

He knew exactly what he was saying.

At least he's already let the mask slip (3 dates in!) and you haven't wasted much time on him.

You date the dickhead, then.

I'm ok, thanks 😂

I think most of us would have, as well.

At the very best, it’s bad manners which would put me off.

I don’t think we can judge if he was being rude, OP, without hearing tone of voice, seeing facial expression etc. it could have been an innocent if busybodying remark.

But I agree with pps that it’s the height of bad manners to comment on what, how or how much anyone else is eating.

Did he finish all his dinner? If so - what a stupid comment to make to you. Stupid comment even if he didn’t finish his to be honest. The smirk and laugh would have me walking out on him.
I would probably have retorted with “Well what did you expect me to do with my dinner - throw it over you”?
You can do better.

This is me. And in OPs position I’d say “damn right I polished it off, it was delicious”.

OP I think you’re being a bit OTT being off with him over this.

You are definitely paranoid - if someone said that to me it would be taken as a mark of respect. like being called a 'good grubber' only more upmarket.

I’d have ordered two puddings too. Not to show him or anything, but just cos I wanted them.

I do know women who curb what they eat around men though, like they are fragile little creatures. I saw a friend of mine stop at two slices of pizza once in front of a a newish boyfriend declaring herself full - she’s a bigger glutton than me usually. Dh is a bit thick and asked if she was feeling okay. she’s usually the one initiating a stop at McDonalds after a dinner out.

You're lucky if that's your 'weirdest date ever'.

Listen to your instincts. You know how it was said and how it made you feel and I would feel the same.

I also think it was a not very nice comment - beginning of negging etc. Esp with the "Jesus" at the beginning..

Any vaguely intelligent man would know better nowadays to make a comment like that to anyone, let alone someone who he's trying to impress early on in dating and who he doesn't know that well.

If you're unsure I would maybe give him another date and look out for other red flags but tbh I think you should listen to your instincts and not bother.

You wouldn’t go on a date with someone again if they commented on you eating all your dinner but you’ll sit by and let your DH call you a little piggy?

So OP shouldn’t have another date, but you married yours? Wow 😵‍💫

Men like that rarely improve on further acquaintance. Fucking run for the hills, or you’ll end up with a husband who calls you “little piggy”. (If you’re reading this, you should divorce him btw.)