AIBU to make my adult son’s lunchbox?

[wheretoyougonow]

Normally I wouldn’t be doing this for him but just interested to know if you think I’m BU by doing this in these circumstances. I am going to bullet point my reasons for ease of reading.

~ I’m disabled and can not contribute to the household as I used to. On my son's days off he is very good at helping with housework/cooking.
~ My son has lived away at uni so I know he can be independent. He doesn’t expect this as standard but is grateful.
~ He is working 12 hour shifts and is on his feet all day. He comes home and wakes up shattered.

I suppose it makes me think I’m doing something nice for him as he does so much for me but am I mothering him
too much?

You don't mind doing it, he works hard both out of the house and in it, I'm sure he appreciates it, crack on if you are both happy.

First answer nails it

I think you both sound lovely people

You're doing a nice thing and he appreciates it. All good.

It’s nice to do kind things for people you love, of course you aren’t being unreasonable

He’s gone to uni, works hard doing 12 hour shifts and helps out his disabled mum- sounds like a lovely and capable young man that has been raised well! Making him a lunchbox is not going to transform him into a useless layabout. Carry on as you are!

of course that’s a lovely thing t do if he’s happy

What a lovely kind thing to do for your son, it sounds like the two of you are both lovely people.

You obviously need to ask him! If he is fine with it, then it sounds great.

Will you make a random thing up each day or ask him beforehand what he wants?

He can, but that's not the point

Shes an adult and can make her own meals and clean her house but OP said he does it for her on the days he is there, so it works both ways.

It's part of being a family.

That is so nice, you both sound really kind and caring.

So by that logic no one would ever help anyone else. Have you never done something for another adult?

Of course you can do it, you don't need permission

And then he'll do housework on his days off as he is at present, it all sounds fine.

Thank you for such lovely responses. I just imagine the eye rolls if people knew but I obviously wouldn’t be doing this if our situation was different.
@JDM625 he’s so chilled he will go with whatever. We both have similar food tastes so I don’t think it’s a problem. He will say (nicely) if it’s something he’s not keen on.

Wow mic drop 🙄

Of course he can, op knows this already, doesn't mean it's mandatory.

Go for it op, why not? You both sound lovely and caring towards each other.

I do it for my son who is 22. I enjoy doing it

No no no, this has all gone too far now.

Of course you can make his lunchbox. My son comes home from University and I do all sorts for him. He can do it himself, of course he can, he looks after himself perfectly well in term time. But when he comes back I like to do some things for him sometimes, not all the time, and he doesn't expect it.

Bloody hell if you can't do things for other people sometimes for the pleasure of it, or just to help them then something is wrong. This has made me unreasonably angry.

The important thing is that he can make it himself and he doesn't expect you to make it.

Given both of those it's absolutely fine to do it. Six packed lunches get made in this house every morning. Four of the five could make their own, but they don't. MIL makes them all. The others chip in in different ways.

If everyone is happy...great! If you were simmering with resentment as you mashed the tuna....no. Dh works 12 hour shifts but makes his own pack up 😀

Don't you ever do things for the people you love?

If you want to baby your adult kids then fine but I expect they will have issues in future relationships.

The only time they'll have problems in future relationships is if they end up with an entitled attitude.

It's not the making of the lunches (or any other task) that is the actual issue with grown (usually man) babies