AIBU to make my adult son’s lunchbox?

[wheretoyougonow]

Normally I wouldn’t be doing this for him but just interested to know if you think I’m BU by doing this in these circumstances. I am going to bullet point my reasons for ease of reading.

~ I’m disabled and can not contribute to the household as I used to. On my son's days off he is very good at helping with housework/cooking.
~ My son has lived away at uni so I know he can be independent. He doesn’t expect this as standard but is grateful.
~ He is working 12 hour shifts and is on his feet all day. He comes home and wakes up shattered.

I suppose it makes me think I’m doing something nice for him as he does so much for me but am I mothering him
too much?

Absolutely nothing wrong in you doing that, it's nice.

I would think ThisAquaWriter was escorted off the premises.

Sounds like a nice thing to do

Very nice of you OP 😌

I think it’s absolutely fine. 2 adults living together and sharing jobs is totally normal. He appreciates it, you don’t mind doing it. He does other jobs that you can’t do.

In our household, I do all the laundry because I don’t mind it at all and my DP finds it a chore. I know some would be horrified and think it’s archaic and sexist. I don’t do anything in the garden as I hate it, so he does it all. He makes my lunches, as he doesn’t find it a chore. I walk the dog most of the time.

Life is about balance, and if you can share jobs in a way that suits you all, who is anyone to judge?

Thank you for all your kind comments. It’s been a tough time and it helps to hear your own thoughts/stories.
Really thinking about it my own mum sometimes pops round to drop off the odd dinner for us so I suppose the caring of your family never ends 😂
I’m trying to ignore the very negative response by a poster but to state clearly I live with 3 men and I normally do about 10% of the housework as I am physically unable. Not all men are incapable.

I just wanted to get some perspective so thanks for all the responses and the reassurance.

Yes, that's unreasonable. Not a great message for an adult male.

Why not do something else that doesn't reinforce the message that men need to be babied - perhaps pay for a meal out/cinema together once a month.

I have 5 adult sons and when they come round, I make them some brekkie or a sandwich, I enjoy being able to 'mum' them a little bit still. If I had daughters I would be the same. I see nothing wrong with you making him a packed lunch, it's showing him a little bit of love and it sounds like he's a lovely son so why not!

I don’t have a mum, but when my MIL lived with us for a bit when her house was being renovated and I was working, she used to make me a packed lunch. I was 37 at the time, I fully accepted it and bloody loved it.

If you were doing it as he was an incompetent man child that would be bad, but actually as it, sounds lovely.

What if it was her daughter?

My husband is 53 and I make his packed lunch! My mum made my packed lunch until I left home at 30! If it makes you, and him, happy then go for it.

She said wouldn't happen for a daughter, and daughter wouldn’t accept it, but then edited the post.

If my beloved mum (RIP) had made me a packed lunch there's no way on earth I would have "not accepted it"- what a nasty thing to do when someone is doing something kind for you.

WTF is wrong with some people?

By she do you mean the OP or a different poster, you haven't quoted so I assume you mean the OP, where does it say anything about a daughter?

He doesn’t sound entitled so why doubt yourself because you’re doing something nice? Is it because some MNers have their kids cooking the family meals at five?

Fridayfeelings post.

She edited the second para. Which confused me, as I quoted and replied before it was edited, which is why I checked as I was questioning my sanity 😆

I did when DS lived with us after uni. Very long hours and long commute and low pay. It was something I could do to help him feel loved and appreciated while life wasn't easy for him. We do things for people we love.

🙄

The edited bit makes no sense anyway.

If you don't mind doing and he does other stuff around the house, it's totally fine.

My brother lives at my mum's. He does lots of DIY for her and helps her with stuff she can't manage, and he also sorts all his own meals. In return she's happy to do his laundry - she doesn't mind doing it at all and it just makes his life a bit easier. It's not a case of her mothering him, it just works out well as an arrangement for them. Sounds similar with you and your son.

Shock horror - Mum does something kind for her adult DS who lives at home by making him a sandwich each day. Must take all of ten minutes.

I do childcare for my DGS for my adult DS. Takes a lot longer than ten minutes a day. Many posters on here would think me unhelpful or unkind if Grandma didn't step up to help out with the childcare. Yet some are saying that making a sandwich every day is a bit too much?! Can't have it all ways!

Thankfully most agree with the OP! I would make the sandwich OP there is nothing wrong with being kind to your DCs whatever age they are!

I often make my husbands pack up he works hard in a physical job does his fair share at home my job is less hours and not as strenuous it's just team work.

Yes, edited as I re-read it and thought it might have sounded a bit unintentionally rude. Never on here to offended, so I edited. Loved your reply though! Haha, I'd be bloomin happy if I ever had my lunch made for me 😊

my husbands mum has our daughter for us every Monday, and she always makes him a packed lunch that day. Not because he can’t make his own but because she loves him and wants to do that nice thing for him.