AIBU that DP took the key so we couldn’t go out?

[WhatJustHappened9]

Im on holiday with DP and my 2 DC from previous relationship. We are in a country visiting family and staying at a villa. DP has been in a shitty mood all day, snapping at most things I say. Me and DC had a snack at about 5.30, DP didn’t want anything. At just after 7, he said he was going for food with his relative, were we going? I just said no. I said no to him as we’d not long since eaten so didn’t want something right now, and to be honest, I didn’t want to be around his shitty mood, it’s best to just leave him be with it.

It got to about 8.30 and DC said they were hungry. No probs, we will go and grab something. But I couldn’t find the key. Messaged DP, no answer, then phoned him, no answer, then I got a message to say he had the key because how else was he going to get in the villa if we decided to go out?! (I read it like I was being a bit dumb asking because it was so obvious)
Erm, by me leaving the key in the key safe if we were to go out.

He said it was fine for me to go out as I could just pull the door to lock it. My response was well if you’re not back before us, how are me and DC going to get back in?!

We wouldn’t be going far (on foot) so wouldn’t be long. It’s now almost 11 and he’s not back and not said how long so I’m glad I didn’t just go out like I said. I managed to get a takeaway to sort the food situation, but AIBU to be pissed off that he took the key with little to no regards for us?

You sound as bad as one another. You didn’t want to eat but shortly after he went out - you did. You need to both stop scoring points/sulking and communicate.

We don't know that they are married. They aren't his kids.
OP, bin him when you get home.
Taking the key could have been thoughtless. What he did next means he was punishing you. And was happy to take it out on your kids. An apology doesn't cut it.

Depends on if he has form.

Could be lack of communication and him making an assumption

Could be coercive control to limit what you do without him

Could be him in a huff acting without thinking beyond his own convenience

They’re not married, so nothing to divorce.

This is an insane take.

Yes, she's an adult and she is capable of feeding her children.

But if the other adult she is on holiday with has taken it upon himself to leave her and her children in the accommodation without food in, taking the only key and the only vehicle with him, her task is rather more difficult, isn't it?

I think the clue is in the phrase “he’s been in a shitty mood” . He was being a deliberate arse. Nonetheless I’d let it go and try and enjoy the rest of your holiday

People are being really weird about this. The only sensible thing to do when you're on holiday and only have one key is that the last person to leave the house pops it in the key safe. If you forget and take it out, effectively trapping the rest of the party in the house, your response should be "oh no, sorry, I totally forgot and took it with me, I'll come back with it now" or if you're too far away for that "I'll be back by x time" which is not too far in the future which might mean cutting your own evening short but hey ho, you don't get exclusive access to the one key. He may not have done it on purpose, but either he did and he's a dick, or he didn't but he was a dick about it. Either way, dickish behaviour. Also, flouncing round in a mood all day is dickish behaviour too. Why didn't he talk about whatever was bothering him?

Taking the keys can happen, but once he realised that you want to go out as well, he should have come up with a plan how you can get back in. ‘For how long are you planning to stay out? I’ll have one more drink and be back no later than 9.30, does this work?’

Or...and hear me out here...he could use the key safe.

Jesus, there are so many goady fuckers on MN these days I’m sure they go on posts just to be contrary arseholes - it’s getting worse.

YANBU OP, your DP was a thoughtless dick and was continuing to take his bad mood out on you by taking the key.

Perhaps, an adult conversation about yesterday’s events and communication may clear the air for you to both enjoy the rest of your holiday. If he’s going to continue in the bad mood fuck him off.

Exactly this.

If taking the key was a mistake, he should have apologised and either brought it back quickly or agreed to come back at a specific time so the OP and her kids could get back in.

If it wasn't a mistake he is a weapons grade dickhead.

@WhatJustHappened9 if the kids snack all the time then maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned that. .
The reality is he was in a mood all day so you refused to go out with him (fair enough )
He decided to carry his mood on further by taking the key know long you couldn’t go out.

If it was a genuine mistake he would have sorted it , he didn’t .
Id be well pissed off. How long left of the holiday ? Although why were you all in the villa all day ?

Id sit back and watch closely at his behaviour . Can you already think of hi being horrible at other times?
You don’t live together do you ?

Ok relationship breaking with two DC already in the mix with a father figure.

Happy now…

Really? You'd just assume they wouldn't want to head out for an evening walk / icecream and you'd take the only key without mentioning it? I wouldn't think it was common sense that people want to remain indoors in the evening on a holiday just because they weren't going out for dinner!

Oh come on! It was obviously a pissy control move. He may never admit it but what else could it be? There was a key safe FFS.

What you haven't really answered is is he often like this (moody, snappy, thoughtless) or was it a one-off?
The latter would annoy me but OK, people have bad moods and shit happens (as long as it didn't happen like that again).
If he has form, though, it's different.

And why the fuck are people sniping at what time you eat/when your kids have snacks/the rights and wrongs of liking or not liking being indoors when you'd like the option to go outdoors?! 🙄

I am really surprised by some of the replies! Come on, if this guy has any common sense, he'd know growing pre teens need food after a 5:30pm snack. He clearly flounced out in a huff without thought and then when it was pointed out he stupidly took the only key, instead of making plans to solve the issue, shrugged is shoulders. Really annoying and thoughtless at best.

How often…. It’s not all the time but it does happen on occasion every now and again.

Is there not a back door with a key you could have used to go out?

Better no father figure than a father figure who can sustain a shitty mood all day.

Yeah, a moody day and all change father figure again…

We’ve no idea why he was moody either, no context on that.

So two down, next!!

If it’s a one off, which you’d presume because why introduce your DCs if it’s not.

Don't you think if there was then she would have mentioned it? Or not started the thread in the first place?

This
my DH would always check whether to take/leave the key or remind us to put it in the safe for him if we went out.

This smacks of petulant selfishness to me. He was in a bad mood, you didn’t pander to him so he punished you.

have you been together long? Is this the first time something like this has happened?

What time did he get back?

Don't you think your tone is overly aggressive?