Should I be expected to pay more towards the house because my partner has kids?

[StrugglingSM28]

I’m in need of some advice please.

I have been with my partner for around 18 months now. I moved into his home and I rent my property out (but it makes a loss). For context, he has 2 children who are with us part time.

Recently, he has suggested that we re-look at all household finances due to things going up. I have always been happy to revisit the numbers, as long as it remains fair.

I’ve worked out that my rent covers 95% of our household bills, for example, council tax, electricity, gas, home insurance, TV license, broadband etc. I’ve also done some market research which shows that my contribution is the market rate for renting a room including bills in our area.

I have always been clear that the mortgage should be absorbed by him as I have no legal right to the property. We are planning to buy a property together in a few years time and will both sell our respective homes.

Recently, I have moved jobs and received a significant pay rise. In the last month, his mortgage has gone up by £800. And this paired with a few snide remarks in recent weeks is why I suspect he wants to look at the numbers again.

We are both saving equally into a joint account for our future home and holidays etc but more recently, despite earning more than me he has alluded to the fact he is unable to save more personally because of his other fixed costs (which all existed before we met), child maintenance etc. and other child costs. But that’s not my problem :(

I also do around 95% of the housework, including food shopping, cooking etc, so it’s not like I am having a free ride here.

So AIBU to put my foot down and say that I am already paying my fair share?

Boy, you are assuming some twisted crap. Enjoying healthy intimacy with your spouse, within a blessed union, is normal. 2 is not exactly a multitude. But you know this and are just beingslanderous and offensive bc you are a control freak and cannot win an argument with an educated, assertive modern woman.

FYI, wives do not prostitute themselves to their husband unless they have no love or respect for them (neither does her husband for her) but she may want something from him that a husband should freely give and provide for his wife. Professional sex workers are due their fees for services rendered. And you are insulting them as well. A woman is free to choose her profession and be paid for whatever skills and services she is qualified to provide. But, she should never be forced to work or micromanaged, as even men resent such.. You know this, and are just trying to anger me. Your posts are derogatory and abusive toward women. Blow off. Be gone. Your opinions, ethic, morality, all suck.

Regardless of how much the rent covers in bills - be it 95% 80% etc you're not covering the bills, you're 'renting a room' it's semantics to say it covers 95% of the bills. It's just a cost. I assume you have full access to the house and don't sit in your bedroom all day, so the comprassion of renting a room is not fair. Knowing people who have lived like this and worked for landlords who run HMO's it can be grim.

Anyway, it gets tricky because he owns it; it would be unfair to expect you to pay 50% of all costs, given that you won't benefit from the house's sale since he owns it. You said the mortgage is 3 x more than the bills, so in effect, you're paying 25% (give or take a few %). Is this before or after the increase in mortgage cost? and you share food costs.

When you say 25% and don't put it against a fixed cost, such as the bills, it's starting to sound a little fairer.

Let's assume he can't save as much going forward over the next two years. I suppose he'll be able to match what you save from the sale of this house, so that doesn't cause too much concern. If you really wanted to protect yourself, you could reduce what you save and save the balance in one of your own accounts with the view to you each making an additional deposit in two years' time when you're looking to buy a house.

Only you can decide what you feel is fair in terms of how much you contribute for 'rent'

You mentioned that renting out your house is making a loss and not even covering the mortgage. Could it be time to sell and bank the money, or do you see any future increases in property values offsetting this current loss? Depending upon loss, capital costs, maintenance, etc, you could end up with a small tax bill still, plus the difference between rent and mortgage.

It's up to you how much domestic services you provide - that's a whole different kettle of fish.