To feel like I’ve wasted my life

[WastedMyPotential]

I’m 26, live at home and have no chance of buying a house before I’m 30.

I’ve spent the last three years doing a job I’ve hated, because I thought it was right for me. Get to the end, I’m a couple of months away from qualifying as a solicitor, and I realise how much I hate it, so I’m starting over in the NHS soon. (Three days before qualifying)

I’ve got two degrees and a potential masters (if I resit the exams), but what do I have to show for it? I’ve never had a relationship because I’ve focussed on university and exams since I was 18. I’m still on minimum wage, I’ve got nothing really going for me.

I just feel like I’ve completely wasted my life. I’ve qualified as a solicitor when I hate it, I’ve done everything my family expected of me, and I still feel empty and hopeless. I just wonder “what was the point”

It's not about the salary. Refresh your mindset

It’s not a race to the bottom. A good salary in a job you don’t want to do isn’t necessarily a solution She wants more than a job she hates at 26 and the prospect of doing it 30+ year

Firstly well done on your qualifications. Don’t let your mind runaway with you on the negatives/time frames you are still so young. As others have said there are pros and cons for many things and perception and comparisons can take over then it all feels extremely heavy.
How great it is you know what you don’t want from a career perspective. I’m with @Ineedanewsofa - with your qualifications you’d be snapped up as a purser on a cruise ship (good job, lots of different levels and will look good on your cv). You will get to travel (you could just do one contract), very likely you’d be able to save well whilst working on a ship (I did ok out of it). Or as others have suggested use your skills gained to go in other directions, read beyond the job requirements you don’t have to tick every box, you come with many skills from the qualifications you have achieved already. And you’ve plenty of time for being a mum too. All the best OP.

Blimey! sorry but life chucks all sorts at you.

Sorry, OP, I don't have time to RTWT, but just wanted to reassure you that you're doing brilliantly and on track for a fabulous life.

BUT, at 26, you should not be still living at home.That's my own opinion and experience, of course. Yes, I know it's comfortable and cheap and reassuring, but you will always subconsciously feel that you have wasted your life unless you become more independent. Before doing anything else, you need to qualify, save hard for however long it takes (not too long, though), and get out there in the big wide world. Stepping straight from one cosy nest to another, your marital abode, is not the way to learn the joys of testing yourself to the ultimate, discovering who you are and what you really want in life. With your enquiring mind and questing soul, self-knowledge is what will give you more satisfaction than anything else. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

In the matter of a career, one of the best teachers I have ever known started out as a solicitor, hated it and decided to retrain as a teacher of Latin and Classics at a boys' grammar. She is a phenomenal success in her professional life, adores her job, makes a good salary, has a pension sorted, is happily married and travels. A lot.

You are so young yet, OP, with so much going for you. Just believe in yourself, your own strength and abilities. You've got this, girl. x

Just wait until you’re 48, closing in on 50. I’d give my life savings to be 26 again. At my age there really is no hope. Time now passes so quickly I’m afraid to go to sleep in case I wake up and find I’m 55 or 60.

I wouldn't waste a year working in admin for minimum wage, I'd be applying for the graduate scheme when it reopens next month. There's no guarantee you'll get a place but with the starting salary of £30K you should go for it instead of waiting.

Kindly, pull yourself together and go and have some fun (whatever that looks like for you). You’re clearly intelligent and high achieving but if you don’t want that life it’s fine - just try something else. You’re so young!!
PS. I’m a lawyer, it’s not for everyone, FWIW there are SO many variations of legal work that I started in something and completely hated it, and now do something very different that I love. So if there’s a chance you might find something in the field that you enjoy it would be worth exploring and you can definitely explain the change of course in interviews. If you love helping people, why not look at family law/human rights/employment law. Or do something completely different if you’d be more satisfied and interested. But you have time.

Definitely travel! Once you are away from the daily grind, it feels like you have been reborn. There is something magical about going on holiday to a completely new place and meeting random strangers. I still think about the older American woman who sat next to me and talked to me on my very first flight alone at the age of 18, even though she is very likely dead now!

In my 50s now and still excitedly planning my next few trips.
Consider also a working visa holiday - young British people can even go to South Korea now for example. I believe they will also making living and working in Europe easier again for young people.

I agree from personal experience not to put your stock solely behind being married and a mum. It very often doesn’t work out as expected and as someone said earlier upthread, people change over time. Having a career and keeping my hand in it kept me afloat.

Take a gap year. Travel. Have a disastrous, heartbreaking relationship. Be a Mum at 36, not 26.

Sounds like you definitely need a break - I’ve been there, but with a medical degree. Got into a top uni and dropped out, just totally burned out and couldn’t do it anymore.

18 years later, after working a dead end job for a year to scrape enough to go to Aus for 6 months, I came back and whilst it wasn’t easy and I’ve had a few ‘car crash’ relationships, I have a completely unrelated professional qualification I achieved vocationally, a reasonably paid career and am married with a DC.

I know you may not believe it now but you are still young. Make the most of living at home, spend some time travelling (enjoy the F1!!!) and reassess when you get back :)

Sometimes life makes you rethink and that’s great. Your plans to expand your social life sound good. I have done a number of different jobs and learned things from all of them. As previous posters said, you don’t want to be climbing a ladder that you don’t want to be on, so climb down and try something else. I have recently started a whole new career in my 50s. You sell a large proportion of your life to work so make sure it’s something you want to be doing or at least that the benefits make it worthwhile.

I feel you!
I’m a few years older, but the pressure to go to college and university was ridiculous. Myself, my siblings, 80% of my friends (and most of the people I went to uni with) have degrees they are getting no use out of, working crap paid jobs to pay the bills.

right now, you have so much freedom! take advantage of that! You don’t know where life may take you in the next year, or two, or five!

Enjoy being in the process of becoming 🩷

You need to take risks, face your fears if you want to turn your life around.

It is easy but you don’t want to regret it later on.

Omg I felt the same when I’d just qualified in my 20s . I was SO burned out and hated law. I went travelling for many months and came back like a new person. I tried a different area of law and now I’m living the inhouse dream. No time recording- good work. Flexibility. It’s bliss.

Id really encourage you to give law another shot. By all means have a break - I’m sure you need it. But not all legal jobs are created equal.

Have you considered that you could use your legal training to work in the NHS or something similar, where you can help people but not waste your qualifications? Or potentially a different type of work? There are lots of different types of law firms and law, not all of which are what you would traditionally expect, and you might find that one of those would suit you. I hated everything I did when training as a solicitor, until I did personal injury, and absolutely loved it, as I was properly able to assist people who'd had serious injuries and make a difference to their lives. Worth considering.

I have changed careers three times. I did a post grad law degree which I never did anything with. I bought a house in my 20s when houses were like 100 grand, then sold it and spent the money. Then had to atart again. Ive tried all sorts of things that did or didnt work out. You have a great experience with law that will be useful whatever career you end up doing. You have an exciting new start in the nhs coming up. You are 26 and have most of your life ahead of you.
Google is your friend here, dont look at stupid fake instagram and tiktoka of people pretending they have these perfect lives. Research proper people, searches like, people who got successful in later life, women who are successful in the nhs, inspirational nurses, inspirational people who turned their life around, numbers of young people out of work, things like that. It will give you some perspective on what is normal rather than the crap you see on socials. Because you are successful already. You made it through a law degree and solicitor training, youve secured a successful contract with the NHS, youre young, alive and the world is still your oyster. You have done a lot more and have achieved a lot in just 26 years. Well done, its quite something to be where you are right now.

I know it doesn’t feel like it, but at 26 you’ve got so much time for things to turn around.

When I was that age I had a similar number of qualifications, absolutely no prospect of owning my own home, and it felt like no hope of finding a husband or starting a family. It’s all happened for me though, including a career change. Things won’t change if you’re not proactive, but you are being proactive (and brave) by jumping into a new career, so good for you!

You need to finish the three days to qualify as a solicitor because that will help you get other jobs.

I clicked on to this thread to sympathise - I'm 61 and feel the same, but you have loads of time!

Dd1 got an excellent law degree, top in class of her Masters but is currently working very happily at 31 in an entirely different industry. Be happy not tied to the fact everyone wants you to be a solicitor.

Good luck! Always yes to travel - travel by yourself is liberating (for most) and confidence building.

You haven’t wasted your life but you have spent far too long enough studying without purpose!

You now need to settle down and actually start working. If you don’t want to stay in the law then fair enough, find something else, try local government, the charity sector, civil service etc. If in a few years time you still want to retrain in the NHS then you will have maturity and life experience to bring and will be a more attractive candidate for what is a very competitive entry sector if you are thinking of nursing.

At some point in your life you have to stop being an eternal student and start growing up.

Readi your posts I’m kind of surprised that you don’t talk about using your learning and qualifications in a social justice role, practice or policy. So many opportunities to make a difference by helping individuals or communities. Having a life partner and a family are fine aspirations but you still need to plan to support yourself (and potentially children). Using law isn’t just about helping people to make and keep wealth.

Relax OP, you just need a break, time off to reset. I wouldn't throw the towel in yet and I also wouldn't rush to have a family. You're still young - your 20s are for having fun. You will have plenty of friends that wish they were in your position. Grass isn't greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it. It sounds as if you're really accomplished, you've achieved alot!
I always wanted to be a fashion designer, slogged away since the age of 15, landed my dream job after uni, except it was on 16k, and I worked 24/7 & it wasn't at all what I expected, I was miserable and had no money. I took a year off, moved back home and guess what - I hated that even more and couldn't wait to get back to the city. Fast forward 16 years - I live overseas, I have my own business as a freelance fashion designer, a husband and child and I didn't buy my first home until I was 33. I love where I am in my life. But mid 20s I felt lost, like I was doing it wrong, frantically trying to tick the boxes of getting a boyfriend, family, home. Now as I near 40, I'm glad I spent my 20s having fun- you don't get that time back. By all means pursue the NHS career just make sure you can go back to being a solicitor - there's no wrong decision, just own it whatever you do and things can always change. I will add I was a SAHM for 4 years ans hated it and I thought I'd love it. There's also alot to be said for earning a decent wage where you don't have to worry about money - takes time to get there but takes alot of the pressure off.

You're 26! Relax, you have all these degrees & expectations.. if you want to travel, travel! Work as you go, god knows I & millions others did, there's no rush to have all the milestones

FWIW I feel like I've wasted my life by not being a panda carer in China but I've still not given up hope

It’s a very broad profession and encompasses even just amongst practising let alone allied jobs. What type of law are you practising and in what environment I.e corporate, charity sector etc. If you don’t like what you’re currently doing as a solicitor could you move to another area/environment? You like helping people: law centres, solicitor at organisation like Women’s Aid? Government legal service? You could work for the NHS as a lawyer defending med neg claims. Work as a lawyer at Law Commission researching areas of law for reform?

It’s fairly typical not to be ambitious in terms of partnership but instead to be focused more on your personal life, your family etc. professional bodies are highlighting that as a major change in legal recruitment, that entrants to the professional are increasingly focused on values and balance etc rather than pay and progression.