To get a bit peeved at MIL/PIL tightness?

[Theroadnottravelled]

I know I’ll likely get flamed but we’re staying with my PIL for a week (DH, me,DCs 3 &5) and it’s nice to get away. My PILs aren’t horrid or deliberately nasty but the food situation when they host us is pretty miserable. They eat like birds and just don’t provide enough food. We’ve tried taking/buying stuff with us before but they get offended. For example they’ll cook a pizza for all of us. 4 adults, 2 hungry small people. It’s a small slice each. And some salad. That’s it. Or one piece of toast for breakfast. Or fairy cakes cut in half. Or one crumpet each for tea. I promise it’s not a money thing. They are more than comfortable. It’s just such small portions. I’ve offered that we stay in an Airbnb and cater ourselves but they won’t hear of it. We take the train to see them (it’s a long way and I’m the only driver) so can’t take loads of stuff with us. Arrrgghh. So awkward but we’re all ravenous. How can I broach it?

My mam always made plenty and im the same i always make loads for next day meals as i would hate anyone to be hungry after a meal

This.

In all honesty though, while I agree with you about salt in diets generally, and its great you watch it at home, there isn't so much that you needed to object when visiting.

There's a middle ground.

There were very young small kids at the time - and as we lived some distance away there for some time it was IMO an issue - one I dealt with over a decade ago with out upsetting anyone and also help reinforced kids diets were differnet to adults so no they didn't need no fat low fat diet being push at them either - with best intentions.

Saw IL very recently - we all get on and they made a point to DH and me they love how the kids have turned out they're really proud - so I think without your help we found that middle ground oursleves quite some time ago.

I'm not the OP, but I think I can answer your question, coming from a British family where meals are eaten fairly quickly and with little ceremony (albeit we are always served enough and are never left hungry!!!!). But when visiting my grandparents or parents, we generally sit around in the lounge (or garden if it's sunny) and chat, whilst drinking numerous cups of tea. If we're staying overnight, then we'll have dinner (either around a table, or on trays on our laps on the sofa), and then sit around watching television together, whilst intermittently chatting some more and drinking more tea. If we stay for a few days then the board games might start coming out, or else we'll just "chill out" together during the day (eg., we'll all sit around in the garden reading, and chatting intermittently). My in-laws are French, so all of their socialisation takes place around meals too, and whilst I do love big family meals at my MIL's house, I sometimes find it kind of sad that as soon as the meal is over everyone just seems to disappear, so you rarely get the sort of natural unpressured chat that comes from just hanging out in companiable silence the same room...

Rationing didn't end until 1954. Older boomers might remember food restrictions as very young children.

Or maybe they picked up the habits from their parents who did go through rationing (twice for some-WW1). We often carry on behaviours from our childhood environment.

BadActingParsley · 19/08/2025 13:23

My Sister in Law is like this - for 6. 4 adults and 2 kids of us - one M&S quiche and a bag of salad.

Ah but Parsley, it's not just any quiche, it's a.......

*Disclaimer - not sponsored 😁