To be completely turned off by partner when they are mentally unwell

[Bigjo]

I have been married to DH for 7years. Historically before we met they suffered with depression which was well managed. Last year they stopped antidepressants. They have been stable but last month has been signed off by GP for anxiety and stress (burn out) due to stressful working situation, difficulty with workload and struggling with being a new parent and navigating the toddler years.
I am working full time. Childcare and chores are pretty much shared, although DS has parent preference with me and some seperation anxiety so I do bedtimes and night wakes and most of getting up in the mornings on my 2 days off. I'm starting to feel really resentful and unaffectionate towards DH. They spend day moping around the house. The house is a tip- dishes from last night still piled in sink even though DS is at nursery all day. They spend most of day in bed, bed hasn't been made, then scroll through phone and watch tv all day. Evening spent scrolling through phone and laughing at videos. Doesn't seem to be doing anything productive to recover (has got a counsellor which i insisted on and paid for). Has been going out with friends 3 days in 2 weeks whilst I'm at home with DS and have not had any time to myself. I know marriage is in sickness and health, but AIBU to be struggling with feeling unsupportive and struggling to be sympathetic to my DH during this time?

You see it time and time again on here. If there’s a passing reference to a transgender person, or a grammatical slip, there's a cohort of gender critical posters (to be very clear, not all gender critical posters) who persistently derail threads, with the OP either not returning (sometimes explicitly stating its because of the GC pile-on).

At least a couple of threads where the OP has raised an issue relating to lesbian, gay or bisexual people have had to be deleted, because using the "LGBT" acronym has triggered a landslide of completely irrelevant (and occasionally hateful) posts.

It is incredibly obsessive, petty and harmful.

And yes, they'll now likely start ranting about what they consider to be harmful, regardless of its relevance.

I’d say that if it was part of the issue the OP might have made that clear. It isn’t. She has asked for genuine advice on depression not pronouns

yes I have, if sex is unknown. “I went to the doctor”, “oh, what did THEY say?”. However I assume the op knows the sex of her husband so no need to use ‘they.’

Yes - especially as OP said ' They are male'!

Not in the op, and she wouldn’t have needed to say hey are made, if she had used ‘he’.

Not in the op, and she wouldn’t have needed to say ‘they are male’, if she had used ‘he’.

What difference does it make to the advice that you will be providing to OP?

No, because OP's post was perfectly clear. She referred to her DH so it was obvious that he was male. The number of early posts ignoring the actual issues that OP is seeking help for and berating her for her choice of language actually outnumbered the posts actually addressing OP's genuine issues with her DH's behaviour. This is the sort of behaviour that often drives struggling OPs off their own threads and it certainly seems to have done that for this OP.

The fact that OP was using they to refer to a male husband may indicate there may be mental health issues at play. So the advice may vary.

Yes - she said DH and later confirmed that DH was male. So if OP had just used 'he' from the start there would have been no need for all this discussion! Saying 'they' meant that the post was NOT perfectly clear.