AIBU to of expected husband not to of gone on stag do

[Nattylion]

My husband has booked to go on a 6 night stag do this weekend, am I being unreasonable to of expected him not to go?

We have a 2 year old, 1 year old and a 3 month old baby none of which sleep through the night. I am absolutely dreading the thought of trying to do bedtime with all 3 of them and then managing the night wakings alone. The baby is breastfeed and has not got into a routine at all and is feeding on demand. I’m also struggling with post natal anxiety and my usual family support aren’t going to be around to be able to help as it is the bank holiday weekend.

I feel really hurt that my feelings that it’s going to be impossible to manage have just been disregarded, he has been away twice prior when we only had 2 children and said it wouldn’t be happening again when we found out about the third. I have never had a night away from the children.

I agree, my dh was airforce when ours were that age so away for extended periods. Not judging as we’re all different, but it definitely can be done and was sometimes much calmer when it was just me and the kids.

I vote night nanny for you for 6 days. If theres money for a 6 night stag do, theres money for you to rest.

In what possible way am I enabling him. I think his behaviour is outrageous.

I literally said I would consider leaving him.

BUT she needs to get her stuff in order for when the selfish bastard does in fact go. Because I can almost guarantee he won’t cancel (based on the secretive way he booked it in the first place)

This is unbelievable. He's a disgusting, selfish twat, and I would be packing his bags, or mine.

He's a dick.

I don't know but it somehow goes with the 'shouldn't of', conjured up a picture of the op to me.

Then she said she was not a 'young mother', which made it all the more odd - and she couldn't have been that old.

Of course everyone is entitled to have kids spaced however they want but one year between is a bit much and the woman had three kids! Obviously didn't (of) know better, despite her age.

Just seeing the title of this thread makes me laugh, despite it being a sad situation.

Who would OF guessed? He certainly has one, that is evident.

I know that, Darkling, I read it and mentioned it in previous post. However two years is not a luxuriously long age gap, it's a normal one. Nevertheless if she is happy with it, so be it, can't alter it now anyway. She comes over very, very young in her posts, I wouldn't have guessed, and her husband is obviously immature.

Six nights away is NOT a stag do, it is a lad's holiday. I'd be telling him if he goes, not to come back.

"my family that would have helped are on holiday themselves"
And they will return at the end of their holiday, and they will help you then. It will be hell for you until then, I'm sorry.

@LBFseBrom , no, this person isn't young. The grammatical error doesn't necessarily indicate this, it could be for many reasons.
I do agree that the husband sounds very immature, though, and certainly not taking his parental duties very seriously, if this is anything to go by.

OP, did you manage to tell him he could not and should not go? Let us know how it all went.

Thank you to those who offered constructive responses.

As this was my first post, I had not anticipated that the focus would shift to a typographical error, my age, or the age gap between my children. The inconsistency within one poster’s comments — describing the age gap as “too much” in one instance and “normal” in another — has left me unclear as to their intended point being made.

I place great value on women supporting and encouraging one another, rather than diminishing or criticising. For this reason, I will not be engaging further and will be closing my account, as I do not find this environment respectful and think it can be quite unhealthy.

Again, thank you to those who offered constructive advice.

Unpopular opinion: stag and hen do’s are outdated and far too often used to justify bad behaviour. Why do you need a last night of freedom if you actually want to be married to the other person?

He’s a wanker, 6 nights away from home for fun when you have three small kids is ridiculous IMO.

Its a forum. You need to ignore the thick as pig shit trolls ans keyboard warriors, as you always get those, and focus and respond to the helpful posts.

No, going away for 6 nights is not acceptable.

I'd personally be furious and would tell my husband if he went on the trip then he certainly wouldnt be welcome back home and could go and live elsewhere. His nag would already be packed.

@Nattylion
Sorry you have found this thread overwhelming.

It's a shame you feel the need to shut your account and disengage. Mumsnet has been incredibly helpful to me over the years.

You need to ignore the trolls, they will rear their ugly heads no matter what the topic is.

Has he gone on his holiday?

I agree. The audacity of this is astounding and screams of disrespect and selfish entitlement.

Nothing but respect for your decision, but very sorry that you leave💕

Oh @Nattylion I’m so sorry you have had such unhelpful and unpleasant responses. The vast majority of posters here want to support rather than destroy, so please ignore those who prefer to be negative in their various childish or smart ways.
Please don’t leave, if it isn’t too late.
I wish you nothing but happiness with your wonderful children - well, maybe a lot of strength, support & peace too!

Of course he has 😂

That post saying you were uneducated etc but don't take it as an insult was vile it could only be taken as an insult.
Reconsider deleting your account MN is a good source for advice and entertainment.

So calling someone uneducated,no life experience, living in a bubble wasn't an insult and that was a lot of assumptions going on there.
It's 2.20 am I can't be bothered arguing with you...cheerio.