AIBU to of expected husband not to of gone on stag do

[Nattylion]

My husband has booked to go on a 6 night stag do this weekend, am I being unreasonable to of expected him not to go?

We have a 2 year old, 1 year old and a 3 month old baby none of which sleep through the night. I am absolutely dreading the thought of trying to do bedtime with all 3 of them and then managing the night wakings alone. The baby is breastfeed and has not got into a routine at all and is feeding on demand. I’m also struggling with post natal anxiety and my usual family support aren’t going to be around to be able to help as it is the bank holiday weekend.

I feel really hurt that my feelings that it’s going to be impossible to manage have just been disregarded, he has been away twice prior when we only had 2 children and said it wouldn’t be happening again when we found out about the third. I have never had a night away from the children.

Easy. Have a bloke who doesn't care about your life or wellbeing and knocks you up soon as you come home from hospital every single time. Then buggers off on hols leaving you with all three babies so he can add to his STI collection.

Ffs and you had a third baby with him?! OP - what are his good points.

hope he has also booked 6 days (or 4 if away over weekend) so he can have the 3 children and you time to yourself!!

It would be a no here. Dh went on a stag for 3 nights when ds was 1, but it was his brothers. Other than that and his own stag for 3 nights when ds was 2 neither of us have done more than 2 nights away and ds is 10 (but has complex needs)
when he hinted did you shut it down? I’d book a week away for you and 2 month old (as you can’t leave baby) for the week before he goes and have a bit of a eiaser time

He sounds gross.

I have read it you just learn to manage and as I’ve said single parents do it on their own all the time

I'm a guy and I'd normally be all over a thread which was berating a father going on a Stag Do. but six nights? That's absolutely, and categorically, taking the extreme piss. No fucking way I'd leave my wife with three babies for nearly a week.

If he can afford a 6 day holiday/stag do, he can cough up the money to pay for childcare help for you.

I don’t understand these useless and selfish husbands.

Why can’t they seem for themselves how unreasonable they are being.

What single parents have to struggle to manage is irrelevant.

OP is not a single parent.

Have you any other support?
Couldn’t he shorten it?

Absolutely not!! I would have put up with 1 night even though I would dread it. But 6 not a hope.

I think the point is that she's not a single parent,so why should she have to struggle and cope when there's a second parent who is just off on a jolly for a week? It's not even work.

She's not single, so she shouldn't have to.

Not forgetting she's suffering with post natal anxiety which makes the situation all the more difficult.

Yes, she could manage it - but at what cost?? She's already worried about it, add to that 6 nights of no sleep and then having to be present for all 3 throughout the day with no break at all. That is NOT worth the roll on someone's mental health and anyone willing to leave someone knowing all of this for a lads holiday (no stag do is 6 days let's face it) doesn't deserve to be part of that family full stop.

OP id be telling him he needs to pack a bigger bag, because anything left behind will be chucked out. He goes for 6 nights, he doesn't come back.

He’s out of order. At a minimum, I would expect him to hire a babysitter to help you in the evenings while he’s away.

He is a selfish idiot.
tell him you have booked a week in Spain the week he gets back and that you hope he’ll be ok

Stag do's are 2 nights long, not 6 nights. I'd do a bit of digging into that if it was my husband.

He sounds like a complete tosser who needs to grow up pronto. Your fourth child? Not an ounce of consideration for you and your children

He seems to be going on a lot of stag do's for a lot of nights.

How do you know they are stag do's and what he is doing when he is away? He could be doing absolutely anything.

Find out. It smells a bit fishy to me.

Good luck
🌻🍀🌞
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selfish pig-start making plans to leave it wont get better

I really feel for you op, I have 2 under 2 and I really struggle with them. I can’t believe he’s done this to you. What an absolute selfish person

He needs to put his hand in his pocket and pay for some support for you. A minimum would be someone to come in for bath/bedtime and be there for the evening so you can get some sleep. That's a minimum, ideally a night nanny so you can hand over 2 at bathtime and get them back at breakfast time, obviously can't just do that with breastfed baby and some support in the day either a cleaner or mother's help to entertain some of the children.

I fee for you and hope you get some help.

She's not a single parent. so it's irrelevant how they manage

Apart from what everyone else says, I can't get over the selfish, self indulgent arse of a groom who decides he wants a SIX NIGHT stag do. Jesus! Bet there's a lot of female partners in that friendship group who are thoroughly cheesed off, though maybe none in such a difficult position as OP.

We recently talked about a hen do that was for 1 night. And easy to bow out before going to the sleep location. Cost was £60/pp for the 2 days (excluding alcohol) and there was still talk if it was too expensive. Then i read these things.

Outrageous! No decent adult would even contemplate landing this on a person they purport to love. He should be ashamed of himself. And not go, obviously.