To let DD vape?

[ByBoldLeader]

DD (16) vapes. I’ve tried to stop her from vaping but I can’t, nothing works and she just keeps on vaping. She has a part time job and pays for the vapes with her own money. I’ve given now up trying to stop her from vaping and have just decided to let her vape now but other mums are saying I’m a bad mum for taking that approach and that I should still be trying to stop her from vaping. Has anyone else just given up and let their teen vape? AIBU to just let DD vape? Am I a bad mum?

If you CAN stop her, do. But it sounds like you can't.

I would go nuclear and stop all other services. No vaping in my house.
But then I am not you.

I’ve tried to stop her but can’t.

If nothing else you should not let her vape in the home. If she is determind to potentially ruin her own health and also set off on the road to addiction- because vaping is addictive and many say is harder to quit than cigarettes- so be it. But why should everyone else in the home suffer potential negative health consequences because of her ignorance and stupidity ?Especially if you have younger children at home. And the smell is utterly stomach churning.

I just learnt last week from another thread on MN that vaping is actually illegal in Mexico and a host of other countries. They are obviously a lot more enlightened then the UK.

would you let her smoke a cigarette

Yes. If my kids want to vape they cant do it in my house.

There’s only so much you can do and how much she’s prepared to listen no matter what sanctions you put in place. She’s old enough to vote now under the Labour government - if she’s considered mature and old enough to make political decisions then she’s old enough to decide to vape or not

My 16 year old is vaping. I obviously don’t approve but he vapes in his bedroom.

She's not doing it in your house or garden though is she?

Because that you obviously can stop.

I think you take control of the things that you can - e.g. no vaping in the house or in the garden - and if she pushes back you can highlight the fact that it's illegal and you won't have others in the household being impacted by her behaviour.

Obviously she funds it herself and wherever she buys it from isn't doing any ID checks - so you could draw attention to the fact that local shops should be doing more to ensure that children can't purchase vapes or refills - via your local councillor and MP. I'm not saying it will change anything overnight but raising awareness at least gets the cogs turning. The alcohol industry introduced Challenge 21 and then Challenge 25 on the basis of public pressure.

Also Frank are good in terms of giving advice on how to talk to your child - this is their number: tel:03001236600 0300 1236600

Well don't let him - it's your house, you have the control here. It's illegal let alone all of the other issues with vaping.

She doesn’t vape in the house but does in the garden.

Does anyone else just let their teen vape if they haven’t managed to stop them? Other mums have said they think I’m a bad mum for just letting DD vape at this point.

I agree that you can’t stop her, at 16 she has her own mind and telling her not to do something won’t stop her, the same for not allowing her to do it in your home, I don’t think she’ll listen. All you can really do is let her know what you think of it, perhaps give her a lecture everytime you see her with it to stop her doing it in front of you

Well stop her from vaping in your garden too?

DD also insists it isn’t dangerous despite all the evidence and articles that I’ve showed her.

You cant stop her. You cam insist on no vaping in house or garden - she can walk down the street.
If left lying around the house you will bin them

I have a suspicion she may be vaping in her bedroom though but she insists she doesn’t vape in the house. Like I said, she does vape in the garden though.

Yeah, that really worked I found. Not sure how you think it would be remotely possible for me to stop him.

Your house (and garden) your rules - don't let her vape in the garden. Take it off her - it's illegal for her to have it so it's not depriving her of her property - limit access to the internet. Put sanctions in place. Do you have other kids who want to use the garden?

Confiscate his vape - if you find it lying around, bin it.
Limit his access to privileges - no pocket money, no internet.

Give him consequences for breaking the law. Shrugging your shoulders and saying: "How on earth can I stop him?!" is a cop out. He's your child. Protect him. And sometimes protection means putting your foot down and sanctions.

I have tried everything to stop DD from vaping but just can’t.

I’ve refused to let dp’s dd vape in my house or garden (she’s 15). I read the riot act to her. If her mum and dad want to allow her to ruin her health so be it but not on my watch!

Also isn’t it illegal to buy vapes if you’re under 18? (I don’t know the rules around them)

Cut off internet.
Stop pocket money
Stop cooking for her if you do or offering her lifts
Nag.

My dad was severely anti smoking. He did everything he bloody could to stop me smoking at 16. But I just ignored him and carried on anyway ( obviously not at home) How do you people saying would you " let" a teenager do " vaping/smoking/ drinking/sex" etc actually stop them?