To let DD vape?

[ByBoldLeader]

DD (16) vapes. I’ve tried to stop her from vaping but I can’t, nothing works and she just keeps on vaping. She has a part time job and pays for the vapes with her own money. I’ve given now up trying to stop her from vaping and have just decided to let her vape now but other mums are saying I’m a bad mum for taking that approach and that I should still be trying to stop her from vaping. Has anyone else just given up and let their teen vape? AIBU to just let DD vape? Am I a bad mum?

I would be taking an A4 sized photo of her to all the local corner shops and vape shops and telling them she is 16 and if they serve her then you will report them to the police and local trading standards.
And I'd ban vaping at home. Full stop.
Stop caving in to your teen and set some boundaries.

Somebody’s feeling bitter..!! 🤣🤣

Jesus Christ cut the cord

I’m now thinking about just letting DD vape in her room with the window open because she is spending a lot of time out of the house and I’m not sure what else to do at this point because I can’t stop her vaping!

I'm sorry OP, but I think you're mad. By doing that, you're condoning it.

My youngest ds13 has gone through a period of vaping, linked in with other behaviours as a result of several bereavements and his father and I going through a difficult divorce. He got grounded, no pocket money, no treats. He's not grounded now, but he only get £2 maximum on his card for a drink when he's out, rarely anything more. He's now stopped, thank god. I watched my Mum basically suffocate to death 2 years ago, from COPD due to smoking. I'll be damned if any child of mine is going to vape or smoke with my blessing.

It's absolutely your call, I started smoking at 15 and my mam did not let me, but she couldn't have stopped me either as like your DD I purchased my own cigarettes and "knew it all" so ignored the health lectures etc. My mam was adamant though that I was not to smoke in the house, if i wanted a cig I was to go outside the front or back door and aside from one occasion when I was showing off to my mates I always respected this rule.
You say shes spending a lot of time out of the house and I assume you mean out out, with her mates? Could her vaping outside work as a compromise rather than conceding the no vaping in the house rule? I'd worry if you back down completely you lose any ground you've made (without realising you've made it as I'm sure it still seems like shes not listening to you)

I would talk to her in a kind conversational tone. Appreciating how she feels and why she does it. Tell her that you are concerned because you love her and can't bear to see her doing anything that might harm her. Then leave it there, even if it looks like she isn't listening. She is taking it in. And then just carry on with your usual routine without nagging about anything if possible. Once she has the space to mull it over, she might very well stop. Even though she mightnt be expressing it, she loves her family and doesn't want to harm herself either. And don't forget to praise her about things she does well too in case she feels put down by ye (my son said he felt like that when I kept nagging him about gaming, that he couldn't do anything right). I wouldn't tell her that you are ok with her vaping to be honest, she could get the impression that you don't care enough or are giving up on her and you don't want that either