Hobby tainted

[Nicechianti]

I have an on and off hobby that is now on again. My DH and DCs were fairly contemptuous about it this morning. They reminded me of all the times I’d given up said hobby, mocked my tendency to carried away with it when I’m enjoying it, and made me feel really shit about it. An example (I’ll use train sets) was when DC showed indignation that I was planning to buy 4 trains for my train set instead of 1. DH, who knew I was planning to buy 4 trains, remained silent instead of diffusing the situation by explaining, “O, yes, NiceChianti and I had discussed this and I knew she was going to buy 4.” He seemed to enjoy the challenge they were putting up and how it gathered strength.

I felt horrible throughout this. “You can’t blame us,” was their common statement, as I tend to drop in and out of the hobby, but I explained that this was true of many people, and for many hobbies. DH had bought me a train for my birthday last month so I thought he was supportive - it’s all very confusing. I explained that my hobby doesn’t take me away from them - it’s not like I go cycling every Sunday, for example, but they just continued in this attack. DH started listing times he had been asked to fix one of my trains (twice), how I always returned trains to the shop for exchanges (several times), how he was worried it would take over again (I had already promised not to get more than the 4 trains), my DC were joining in, and now my hobby is completely tainted.

DH then left to do his hobby for a couple of hours, and returned saying he could have handled it differently, but I am shell shocked and sad. I don’t want to do anything to do with my hobby now, and I am still reeling from their united, emphatic, contemptuous front.
Keeping and maintaining and building a train set is a good analogy - my hobby is nothing weird or extreme, and plenty of people do it.

Do I stop it (YABU) or carry on (YANBU)?

“United vitriol”

I call absolutely hyperbole. In fact, nonsense

This, this is what I needed. Thank you, Sparkletastic.
I could put some dog shit in DH’s cycling helmet…😂

I think you need to just shut out the noise from them and crack on.

Honestly, tune it out.

Your kids are just taking the piss.

Do it if you want to do it, in which case enjoy your the max.

I do yoga. My family rip the piss constantly, I don't care.

Do you think you were there? The united nature of it was the flavour of their approach, which was vitriolic!
Why bother posting? I’m not after your analysis of my expression.

Accidentally tapped YABU instead of YANBU. Sorry!
Carry on and enjoy it.

I understand, it's hurtful because they were on the attack for whatever reason, but don't let it spoil your hooby. In fact, I'd tell them that you were hurt by their actions, but you deserve to enjoy your hobby without having to justify yourself to them about how and when you do it (I imagine you do a lot for all of them!) so you will continue to enjoy it and they can keep their opinions to themselves in the future!

I’d like to see them try some of your moves 😏
I did yoga for a while - the best exercise! Everything snapped and popped.

Just say the hobby, my neighbour is into model trains and he has a whole room in his house devoted to the layout, tracks etc. to everyone in his family's inconvenience So your train analogy is maybe a bit misleading.

I'll help by declaring my hobbies all of which I take up and put down get temporarily obsessed with then have a break etc.
Doll's house
Junk journalling
painting (of the art variety not decorating)
collage
Knitting
embroidery
Gardening (pretty ongoing obviously)]
reading
swimming (sometimes its a fairly regular trip for a leisurely swim. other times i go frequently to train for a charity swim)

when I do them depends on mood, time of year, (long winter nights/ long sunny days etc)
I'm not ashamed of any of them, I don;t care what anyone thinks about them. My ex husband who had no hobbies or interests used to mock me, and it is horrible when people do that, consequently I enjoy all my activities much more now he's not around. But don;t let others tell you how to live your life, do the things you love and ignore the idiots.

Exactly! This is all super dramatic.

And buying things and returning/exchanging things a lot is annoying.

It's cringeworthy.

No wonder the kids and DH are dreading her starting it up again.

It sounds as though the OP loves to 'suffer for her art' and they're probably rolling their eyes out of their sockets again.

I really do think the hobby is needed for context. I love reading and go through spurts of reading loads, then reading nothing for months but collecting books for my too read pile.

My famiky take the piss because I decide I want to try something, read up on all the best gear, obsess over it for a week and forget all about it.

You two need to meet up and get your “mean girls” chat on.
Have you voted, or are you still cackling about what a petulant cretinous burden I am?

Yes, that’s like me! But this was not taking the piss - this was something else entirely.

My preteen once deliberately broke my knitting needles and let a lot unravel. I was enraged. Hope you can be firm about your choices going forward- they sound like they're getting something out of winding you up.

Dog shit in his helmet, not dramatic at all and they're the nasty bullies?

Of course I've voted.

And the more you post, the more ridiculously precious you sound.

Do the hobby or don't but don't expect your family to kiss your feet over it.

You sound very sensitive. Why do you feel you have to justify yourself to your children and feel you need your DH to back you up in that. Why are you letting their opinions influence your feelings around a hobby? I'd just laugh it off and get on with my day or if they were being rude about it rather than light teasing they would be told so.

Sorry what is the hobby?

I roller skate and crochet (not simultaneously). I doubt anyone will identify me in this basis

Oh, for heaven’s sake.

Of course I’m not going to actually put dog shit into my husband’s cycling helmet.

It would be a waste of a good dog shit, for one.

That was a joke, too.

Is this a dc and Dh versus mum issue? Is this always the dynamic? Are they genuinely worried about your sudden renewed enthusiasm or is it literally let’s have a go at @Nicechianti ? Because that’s how it’s coming across, tbh. I don’t see how you caring about it then dropping it another is worrying.

I’m ‘horsey’ but since I lost my ‘heart’ horse, I couldn’t give a shiny shit about horses, but it was pretty all-consuming when I had him. I think my DH is eternally grateful that I’m no longer out of the house for hours, but wouldn’t take the piss were I to find another horse/hobby.

If you feel they are ganging up on you possibly encouraged by your DH you need to be assertive and stand up for yourself and your hobby by asserting your right to invest in your interest and continuing regardless. Trust in your own judgement and decisions. I know from experience that a partner's disrespect will be picked up by DCs and they will mimic in a "monkey see monkey do" type fashion they may test your boundaries which need to be or at least appear strong to keep a healthy dynamic. Do not show weakness here. Good luck!

I did have a go back. I mentioned the things my DC likes to collect, which we have boxes of, the cost of my DH’s hobby compared to mine, the fact that hobbies tend to cycle… they just kept on. It was bizarre.
I think I’ll put my big pants on and speak to them. Thank you for the push!

Oh God you're not that well known crocheting, roller skating Jellywife are you ???? 😮

Shell shocked is a bit dramatic

Can't believe I've read through 3 whole pages of this and still have no clue what the hobby is.

Just tell us OP!!