Torn on attending a wedding with a positive covid test

[Raveien]

Hello All,

Just looking for advice really, I've been feeling under the weather with cold symptoms after going to a festival and I did a covid test today and its positive. My partner has done a test and is negative. We're both due to travel up country tomorrow, for a wedding on Saturday. I don't know the couple, I am meant to be meeting them for the first time during this wedding. My partner has another covid test that he'll take tomorrow.

I had my partner message the groom to let him know, and he's said for both of us to come anyways, and to just not make a big song and dance for testing positive, he's said about 90 people are going and the chances of someone else having it, irregardless of me, is quite high. My partner will still go without me, I think, but has said he'll be sad without me there, and is of the opinion that if the groom is fine with it, I should still go. But of course, there could be people in attendance who are vulnerable.

However I feel really torn, because my best friend has said she'll be really disappointed in me if I go, and that I don't know these people, so technically I won't be missing out on much - which is true. She said if I was asymptomatic that would be different, but I do have common cold symptoms, but they are manageable with cold and flu medicine.

Just seeking some advice really, if the groom had of said 'she can't come with covid' it would have been so much easier, but now I'm torn between my partner and the groom saying to come, and my best friend saying it would be the wrong thing to do. Would it be unreasonable for me to still go?

The groom may say this, but if any vulnerable people at the wedding get it you will be public enemy number one! Also do you actually feel well enough to go? Covid knocked me out completely. I think this is something that you should not attend. Also you don’t know if the bride is as accommodating to sickness as the groom- I can totally imagine my husband saying that, something which we would be having words about!

If the groom’s happy to be exposed to Covid that’s his choice, but he doesn’t have the right to make that decision on behalf of his guests.

You'll clearly get split opinions on this, as the responses show.

I understand that for some people covid is still very dangerous.

However mowadays most people don't have tests, and aren't required to test. So wherever you go, whether the supermarket, public transport, work, schools, doctors surgeries etc. you will likely come across someone with Covid.

So in a way, the OP testing has created the conundrum, as most people with Covid don't know it's covid anymore, and just go about their business if they feel well enough to leave home.

Personally I'm not testing anymore, as I just think 'what's the point?'.

I don't say that lightly, but it feels like the long term reality. And I was someone who took it very seriously, followed the rules, got ill myself a couple of times and had a family member die.

It might to you, but not to everyone who gets it. Vulnerable people come in all ages, shapes, & 'looks' you don't need to look vulnerable to BE vulnerable.

You have a nasty bug of some sort, its not fair to share it.

Hmmm.......welll ....a year ago I would have said 'go if u feel well enough'. Having been housebound for a year with long covid (caught covid from a colleague who came into work coughing and sneezing over me)
I would now say don't go. It's no joke for a lot of people who now have no life and can't get out.

It's not a cold

shame no one told Covid it wasn't allowed to make anyone ill, long term ill, dead. After 2020.

Sorry you’re suffering too. I also used to laugh at the idea of long Covid. Really not funny now! And so many are afflicted… I can only see this becoming a huge problem as Covid keeps circulating. Millions of people in this county now have it.

Not sure what the answer is but people do need to take Covid seriously and not spread it about.

I would personally be annoyed if I knew someone knowingly went with Covid. I understand that people don’t have to test anymore, so it’s me being unreasonable, but I have an autoimmune disease and Covid played havoc with me when I caught it, for months.

For some people it’s ’just a cold’ but there are a lot of us out there who could (and do) die from it 🙁

Sorry that you are also suffering with the impact of LC. It really is devastating and life changing.

Why is your friend telling you what to do?
Tell her to keep her nose out!

I don't think you should go.

It is not just a cold. It's been going round again recently. It can be nasty for some people and its long-term effects are still not fully known.

And yes many people do still test.

I can’t believe you’re even considering going. It’s completely selfish. You don’t know who might be immunocompromised or caring for someone who is. Whether people test regularly or not is beside the point. You know you’re infectious. Don’t be around people.

Yes but you shouldn’t go into a confined area with a bunch of people when you have “just a cold”. Many people have suppressed immune systems (like lots of people you don’t even know - they don’t “look” sick or weak). They can be knocked for six with a cold and up with chest infections and more.

And just inflict it on the hotel staff????

and anyone en route.

just stay home. Meet them another time

Don't go. Often elderly relatives at these dos. It's still a killer for vulnerable individuals. And before anybody starts pooh-poohing this, I have had 2 close friends die of COVID, both otherwise fit, nonsmoking individuals in their 60s.

You’re crazy to have tested!

I think you were a bit daft for testing, if you hadn't tested and had the 'sniffles' by Saturday would you have still gone?
There are loads of other illnesses that can/do affect the vulnerable, people go about their daily lives without a second thought about them because we don't routinely test for them.
I bet no-one is hanging over the buffet testing for Campylobacter on the off chance a chicken leg is going to kill granny!

Its a self-contained airbnb with its own independent key safe, but i take your point

I wouldn't, purely out of respect for other guests.

Literally nobody wants it, right? But there could be vulnerable family members there.

I'd err on the side of caution.

Thank you, that’s me lungs injured at birth…have to be Covid cautious it could kill me, there are countless others. OP says she doesn’t know the people getting married ..seems highly selfish and uncaring to go…despite the grooms words..,I bet there are vulnerable people going to the wedding …who would NOT go if they knew someone actively unwell with Covid was going (and yes I know the science about non symptomatic transmission)….but common decency…oh the irony of the groom being horribly sick on honeymoon 🤦‍♀️

I assume you took a test because you’re responsible enough to want to know if you’ve got a highly contagious illness that could be extremely serious to vulnerable people, so surely you know the right thing would be not to attend the wedding?

Someone will still be in there cleaning after you leave & new people arriving.

just get your BF to tell the B&G you are still too unwell to travel. Have a relaxing weekend at home gaming & not doing any housework!

your BF shouldn't be going either, but it sounds like you'll have zero chance of getting that to happen, so just concentrate on what YOU. can do to avoid giving it to anyone. It's just not worth it!

Haven’t we all been vaccinated multiple times?

People still take Covid tests? How quaint.