Torn on attending a wedding with a positive covid test

[Raveien]

Hello All,

Just looking for advice really, I've been feeling under the weather with cold symptoms after going to a festival and I did a covid test today and its positive. My partner has done a test and is negative. We're both due to travel up country tomorrow, for a wedding on Saturday. I don't know the couple, I am meant to be meeting them for the first time during this wedding. My partner has another covid test that he'll take tomorrow.

I had my partner message the groom to let him know, and he's said for both of us to come anyways, and to just not make a big song and dance for testing positive, he's said about 90 people are going and the chances of someone else having it, irregardless of me, is quite high. My partner will still go without me, I think, but has said he'll be sad without me there, and is of the opinion that if the groom is fine with it, I should still go. But of course, there could be people in attendance who are vulnerable.

However I feel really torn, because my best friend has said she'll be really disappointed in me if I go, and that I don't know these people, so technically I won't be missing out on much - which is true. She said if I was asymptomatic that would be different, but I do have common cold symptoms, but they are manageable with cold and flu medicine.

Just seeking some advice really, if the groom had of said 'she can't come with covid' it would have been so much easier, but now I'm torn between my partner and the groom saying to come, and my best friend saying it would be the wrong thing to do. Would it be unreasonable for me to still go?

Not if you are immune compromised.

I am in the "I wouldn't have tested, but now you have, and it's positive, you shouldn't go" camp.

To knowingly go to an enclosed gathering with COVID is unfair.

Agree. I wish people would stop pushing falsehoods.

Don’t go- otherwise what was the point of taking the test if you were always going to ignore the result?

Ex-long distance runner here- bed/housebound since 2022 after a mild covid infection (was just like a bad cold). What I didn’t know about is the damage to my lungs/heart/nervous system that has meant I can no longer wash myself, cook or work.

Despite this, I’m not eligible for boosters (they have very stringent criteria so don’t rely on ‘vulnerable people will have had boosters’ mentality).

Please don’t risk someone’s future, especially when you know you’ve got covid. It’s like taking a child with chickenpox to a wedding/event.

Surely the groom knows his guests so wouldn't be telling you to go if he had vulnerable people attending?

If you're feeling well enough I would probably go but I also wouldn't have taken a covid test either 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think we all hoped/assumed it would become like the common cold. Especially as we developed immunity.

However, it really isn’t turning out like that and people need to realise that. It can affect many organs of the body - colds don’t do that. We don’t have 2 million people in the country (and rising) with long colds that keep them bed bound for years do we?

Actually, people likely caught it and were asymptomatic, or had very mild symptoms. All would have been capable of spreading the illness, though.

But this thread shows it’s not just those who are vulnerable who are impacted by it.

Unfortunately many people are very selfish when it comes to going out when they know they have something infectious. They should very little care for those they infect.

My initial infection was also mild. I don’t think I even went to bed with it. But I just never got better…also ex long distance runner. Being fit is no protection it seems…

I really doubt he knows the medical details of 90 guests.

Bollocks. Utter bollocks.

For a start, immunocompromised people care a lot.

Covid makes me really ill despite having a vaccine annually. Not only are the symptoms bad, but the fatigue afterwards lasts for months.

I despair of society, if you are ill with something contagious why are you okay making other people sick?

If I've got even a cold I mask up to avoid spreading it.

It doesn't cost much to have a social conscience and care about others whether you know them or not.

Another person with a compromised immune system. You wouldn't know that if you met me. And whilst, I'd weigh up the risks of attending a wedding, I'd assume few would be selfish enough to knowingly attend such an event knowing they are contagious with an illness that will likely have serious implications for some of the guests. That would be a dick move.

3 million in the UK have it.

Yet people don’t care about it….

Inagine if they got it. 3m is not a small number.

Are you staying out of shops, pharmacies, work? There are vulnerable people everywhere, some who could get seriously ill from the common cold. We don't just pause our lives for every sniffle though do we? I'd have the same response as the groom if a guest at my wedding had covid.

But, she did test.
It doesn't matter if Covid or anything else. She's ill.

Whether you have a cold or Covid, you have an infectious virus, and have no idea whether anyone extremely vulnerable will be there. If I had these symptoms I'd be staying away.

Yes, a cold / Covid may not be serious for the majority of people, but I saw how compromised my mum's immune system was during and just after chemo, and being in contact with someone with these symptoms would have made her extremely ill.

If you're having to ask the question, you're obviously not sure, chances are you'll not even enjoy the day anyway, as you'll spend it questioning whether you've made the right call.

I get it, but it's stupid and inconsiderate. There are things you can do, like wear a mask, when ill and needing to go out.

Amazed at all the people who foolishly believe that what year it is affects whether someone will get seriously ill with Covid. The lack of critical thinking skills is off the charts.

Mind you there were lots on here that even after a solid year of being in the thick of Covid hadn't grasped the point of tests or masking.

Wow this is exactly why you shouldn’t bother testing as now you’re worrying about what to do! Before COVID you’d just go if you felt ok! Just go and forget about it or don’t go if you’re going to panic the whole time but stop testing it really is pathetic! Drs in hospitals who perform operations aren’t testing and even when they are and positive they still come to work so let that sink in!

It’s a huge number and it’s having a massive impact on the economy as most of these people can’t work. People need to understand a bit more how serious this can be.

That number will just keep going up and up because Covid keeps circulating every year (and all year round!) and it’s affecting healthy people not just vulnerable.

She'll probably be spending several continuous hours in an enclosed space with 90 people, not popping in for a pint of milk. When the risk factors were discussed at length over the last five years some people must have been utterly oblivious to the information!

The key part is that was before Covid. Covid is different.

Drs in hospitals who perform operations aren’t testing and even when they are and positive they still come to work so let that sink in!

How many are you talking about? I can point you to the data on the number of medical staff who are missing work because of covid, if you'd like?

And they are wearing masks in surgery and in most interactions.