To be embarrassed by DH in shop?

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NC’d just in case

DH and I popped into the only decent shop in our town this morning. I had asked him to pick up the bank card before we left and he said he would. We go into the shop, pick up what we need (6 items non food). Checkout and DH realises he’s forgotten the bank card. We didn’t bring phones or anything.

The man on the till (there are no self service tills) didn’t say anything but did look extremely put out/grumpy when we apologised for the inconvenience. He was silent and visibly annoyed and DH said ‘it was just an accident you know’. The man didn’t say anything, still looked annoyed, and DH said ‘so much for customer service’. When we started to walk away, he turned round and asked for the man’s name which he told him. Then DH walked away saying that he was a twat, loud enough for him to hear.

I was mortified. DH was annoyed that I was okay with ‘being treated poorly’ by someone for no good reason. The man was in his mid 60’s I’d say and working in what I assume is a sometimes physically challenging retail role and to be honest, his reaction didn’t bother me. I go into that shop about twice a week on average and now don’t want to go back. It’s not a big shop so if the man was working he’d definitely see me and most likely be on the till. AIBU to be annoyed by DH’s reaction?

Fucking hell, what a massive chip on his shoulder your DH has got. Is he like this with other stuff, likes to be loudly seen like a big man etc?

I agree with DH that that was poor customer service
I think DH was thoughtless and unkind to you, to create a future issue for you, in that shop

Yeah I mean that's crap customer service, but your DH also acted like a twat. No need to call the man a twat as he was walking away, but I do think that crappy customer service should be challeneged.

I agree with your DH. The shop assistant was out of order especially if you're a regular customer.

His age is no excuse for getting an attitude with you. I'm sure if it was a young teen girl behind the counter you wouldn't be making excuses for such rudeness.

DH was awful, is that normal behaviour for him?

Why do you appear to have only one bank card between you and no other means of payment?

@Daisyvodkano, I’ve never seen him like that before.

Did the shop assistant not ask about what you wanted to do?

Did you ask for the shopping to be set aside in the cool store / cold area till you returned with your card?

What else happened? It sounds so odd and lacking in communication.

I think the man was entitled to be annoyed and he didn't say anything. Your husband was at fault. You told him to pick up the bank card and he didn't. Had all the goods been rung up on the till before he realised? So the man had to put all the things back on the shelves as well as cancel the sale?

@Mulledjuicejoint bank card/s but I was getting other stuff sorted and we didn’t take our phones.

Your DH was being a total way and YANBU to feel embarrassed.

Yes it was slightly poor customer service but it would be annoying that your DH went through the whole of the rest of the transaction and only then realised he hadn’t got his card.

@CustardySergeantyes, it was only 6 things but yes.

One Friday after work I did my whole family shop at Waitrose. At the check out, after it was rung through I realised I didn't have my debit card. The checkout supervisor told me to take my goods and return to pay for them later! She didn't even want to keep my granddaughter as security. Needless to say I continue to be a Waitrose shopper.

A total way?

The shop assistant didn't say anything. We have the OP's statement saying the shop assistant looked annoyed. Is that really classed as being out of order, as bad customer service? Calling the shop assistant a "twat" for a facial expression is completely OTT.

What did he do that was out of order? OP just says he looked annoyed, which is fair enough given DH forgetting to bring any payment method with him has generated unnecessary work for him. It sounds like he didn't even say anything when he got called a twat.

Is he always so awful and abusive to strangers? I fail to believe he isn’t like this regularly.

So literally all the poor man did was look annoyed?

I'm surprised we can recruit shop assistants at all. Fancy being called a twat just for that.

Your husband was the twat.

He didn't do his job, which was to get the card. Then when the attendant possibly looked annoyed but said nothing, your husband made a stupid remark, then called him a name.

OMG what was the poor bloke on the checkout supposed to say or do?
"Thank you kind sir and madam for bringing these items to my checkout with no means to pay for them, and ensuring I scanned all of them before you checked if you had a means of payment. I am ecstatic that I need to call a manager to void the items off my till! I shall derive great pleasure from returning them to their rightful places on the shelves! Thank you for giving me so much work to do, I am truly grateful, without customers like you I wouldn't have a job." With a bow and maybe lying down in a puddle so OP's DH doesn't get his feet wet on the pavement when he leaves?!
What planet do some people live on?

What customer service was your “big man” expecting. To get the goods for free?

The retailer might have been empathetic with a “never mind, maybe you’ll get back to us later with your card” but also who knows what pillocks and twats and ignoramuses had already crossed his path before your man took up cudgels?

Dont stop going to the shop. If you feel inclined to apologise to the retailer, that might make you feel better but in reality it’s not in your gift to apologise on behalf of your other half. The retailer probably could sort out who was the more pleasant of the two of you and won’t hold a grudge.

Take it all with a pinch of salt. Let time pass and go back to the shop. Retailers are made of tough stuff, they probably have to deal with unpleasant people all the time and he’ll have moved on.

Odd that this cashier was so rude given presumably you are well known by the shop and know him very well if you go in 2x a week every week

Let me guess

you generally regard your dh as a bit of a twat?

Well he shouldnt have called him a twat but for the rest the guy behind the counter needs some training in customer service

So just looking annoyed is rude now? Do you want the shop assistant to play act a happy role all day long?

actually, I don't know why I asked that question. You probably do!

And before anyone says the checkout bloke was "unprofessional", working in a shop is not a profession. It's a shit job for shit pay with barely any training dealing with people who call you names for not being delighted at their inability to successfully use a shop.