To be embarrassed by DH in shop?

[abccdefg]

NC’d just in case

DH and I popped into the only decent shop in our town this morning. I had asked him to pick up the bank card before we left and he said he would. We go into the shop, pick up what we need (6 items non food). Checkout and DH realises he’s forgotten the bank card. We didn’t bring phones or anything.

The man on the till (there are no self service tills) didn’t say anything but did look extremely put out/grumpy when we apologised for the inconvenience. He was silent and visibly annoyed and DH said ‘it was just an accident you know’. The man didn’t say anything, still looked annoyed, and DH said ‘so much for customer service’. When we started to walk away, he turned round and asked for the man’s name which he told him. Then DH walked away saying that he was a twat, loud enough for him to hear.

I was mortified. DH was annoyed that I was okay with ‘being treated poorly’ by someone for no good reason. The man was in his mid 60’s I’d say and working in what I assume is a sometimes physically challenging retail role and to be honest, his reaction didn’t bother me. I go into that shop about twice a week on average and now don’t want to go back. It’s not a big shop so if the man was working he’d definitely see me and most likely be on the till. AIBU to be annoyed by DH’s reaction?

but did look extremely put out/grumpy when we apologised for the inconvenience. He was silent and visibly annoyed

against a customer who is in there 2x a week

so yep, rude

@Someirememberno, I really like/love DH.

DH a rude twat but waiting for the drip that this marriage is circling the drain anyway

Cashier was a bit…. Rude in but did look extremely put out/grumpy when we apologised for the inconvenience. He was silent and visibly annoyed

So this is completely out of the blue
he’s never done anything like this ever before?

The man said nothing.
MN is full of posters who diagnose an interaction purely by facial expression!

I don’t know him really, I now know his name but he doesn’t chat when he’s on the till and I’m usually quick. It is a chain store, not an independent.

Maybe he will make a complaint about being verbally abused by a customer.

any of your children around to witness their dad behaving like an entitled fool?

No, the marriage is not circling the drain @Someirememberand I’ve not seen him be rude to retail staff before.

The whole thing could have been avoided by either of you apologising and asking if they could set the items aside while one of you goes home for the card.

It’s likely the cashier stayed silent due to your partners reaction when he noticed the card was at home.

I don’t think either of the men in this story covered themselves in glory to be honest.

How do two adults go out without wallets or phone when they plan to go shopping?

When you realised you had no payment method, did you apologise to the assistant and take the things to put them back? Or was it more oops, can’t pay shrug then stand there waiting for him the laugh it off or something? And when he didn’t, your husband got rude.

So he’s pissed off with you
and you’re pissed off with him
so I’m guessing the atmosphere at home is… tense right now

Who will cave first?!

This

You might actually find you have both been barred. Lots of stores these days have facial recognition for shoplifting and abuse towards staff.

Obviously DH didn’t want the goods for free!

@MamaElephantMamagreat

I think grumpiness in retail staff is often perceived. DH was already annoyed with himself and possibly a but embarrassed by forgetting his card and projected his feelings.onto the man, who might not have been gushing and over friendly, but probably wasn't actually rude.

Sadly, the man will have similar experiences several times a day, so is very unlikely to remember you.

Agree @BitOutOfPractice

And you have conveyed that to your dh?

Maybe the shop guy was having a bad day. Maybe at the end of a long shift. Maybe his back was killing him and he couldn't face putting stuff on the shelves again.

Your DH was unpleasant. All it would have taken is I'm sorry, can you hold the stuff back, I'll go home and get my bank card. No need for name calling.

Haven't we all done it? I know I have. The embarrassment is awful, but we're all human, just apologise and accept you've made a mistake. Not a big deal. No need for rudeness.

Actually if that was our store the checkout guy would get a bollocking. It's unacceptable customer service, there are always options to deal with this, we get it 3 or 4 times a day. In our case we store the transaction and put their goods somewhere safe till they get back. Forgetting a card is no biggie.

Did you offer to either put the things back or ask him to hold them behind the counter for ten minutes while you ran and got the card?

Are either of you going to go back for the items and apologise to the man? Preferably your husband but if he refuses and you want to shop there it might be worth you going.

Ultimately it was a perceived facial expression but even if the shop assistant was rude, two wrongs don't make a right and calling someone a twat in their workplace is never acceptable

🤣

Is there something in the water at the moment?

Or did I miss some previous background? Why are people talking as if @abccdefg marriage is in trouble?

I am so confused right now.