To be embarrassed by DH in shop?

[abccdefg]

NC’d just in case

DH and I popped into the only decent shop in our town this morning. I had asked him to pick up the bank card before we left and he said he would. We go into the shop, pick up what we need (6 items non food). Checkout and DH realises he’s forgotten the bank card. We didn’t bring phones or anything.

The man on the till (there are no self service tills) didn’t say anything but did look extremely put out/grumpy when we apologised for the inconvenience. He was silent and visibly annoyed and DH said ‘it was just an accident you know’. The man didn’t say anything, still looked annoyed, and DH said ‘so much for customer service’. When we started to walk away, he turned round and asked for the man’s name which he told him. Then DH walked away saying that he was a twat, loud enough for him to hear.

I was mortified. DH was annoyed that I was okay with ‘being treated poorly’ by someone for no good reason. The man was in his mid 60’s I’d say and working in what I assume is a sometimes physically challenging retail role and to be honest, his reaction didn’t bother me. I go into that shop about twice a week on average and now don’t want to go back. It’s not a big shop so if the man was working he’d definitely see me and most likely be on the till. AIBU to be annoyed by DH’s reaction?

I know they said something. I said so. Then I said they ‘… then seemed to just, well, stand there'. Instead of saying something. Like ‘Here’s what we can and can’t do. What works best for you? And, again, sorry’.

I haven’t worked in customer services for a lot of years so didn’t realise you didn’t have to verbally communicate to customers anymore, sorry.

In any interaction, if you make a mistake it’s on you to put it right. Usually by verbally communicating.

Which they did, I have said this a few times and OP said in her first post 🙄

my point which I’m not sure if you’re missing accidentally or deliberately is that in a customer service role you should not stay mute. Feel free to disagree if you want but I won’t respond to your obtuseness anymore

@abccdefg I think up until the point your DH called him a twat you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s an easy mistake to make when you’re busy. Maybe you should/ could have offered to put the items back.

I would contact the shop with some feedback, I agree that someone in a customer facing role should be able to seek a solution, he seems like a bit of a strange person. The lack of acknowledgment of your apology is rude.

No they didn't. I said 'put it right ... by verbally communicating', not 'verbally communicating'.

I think it's kind of weird your DH did remember to go shopping together but not to take the card to pay for it. Something seems off to me. You don't go out to buy stuff without your card or other means of paying, no?

An unfortunate serious of errors led to this outcome, but on a positive note, you will likely not forget to take means of payment with you again!

OP, I personally would consider going back to the store and get served by sir grump-a-lot and apologise for your husbands outburst as he was having a bad day or taking his own frustration for his own error on someone else, or whatever. It will break the ice and probably mean the grump meister may smile at you in future.

i’m a sod for leaving the house to return an item or go to a restaurant I have a discount voucher for, only to forget the actual item/receipt/discount lol. Doh!

ironically however I NEVER leave the house without keys, wallet or phone… when I was 18 on my first holiday with friends, on of them was OCD or something along those lines, and always used to stand at the door before leaving our hotel room repeating “keys-wallet-phone, keys-wallet-phone”, whilst tapping each respective pocket they were kept, lol, and ever since that holiday i’ve done the same and it is a really useful idiosyncrasy to have!

It is, on the face of it.

Two adults decide they need to go shopping together despite at least one of them being otherwise busy with ‘sorting stuff’, in order to buy 6 non-food items, and between them they take no means to pay, and neither is able to suggest a workable solution to the shop staff like a simple, ‘one of us will pop back for the card and be as quick as possible if we can just leave the basket on the side for a short while’.

Yeah, a bit odd.

Yes Completely Concur With You
Body language speaks volumes
When staff tutt /roll their eyes /mock etc
Without mentioning an actual word, these types of members of staff can make their customers feel a complete nuisance-it's unjust & unnecessary
God Bless You&Yours

But they WERE a complete nuisance. They forgot their means to pay, didn't have a back-up plan, offered no solution or to help to resolve their mistake, and their apology sounded both qualified and half-hearted. Then DH even called the assistant a twat.

She's completely powerless over whatever her husband says & she's been a loyal legendary customer to date
She apologised, it's not for others to judge whether it was half hearted
She seems immensely sincere to me
She wouldn't be bothering to comment her upsets & seek our guidance if she didn't care

I have not addressed whether either of them cares or not or are sincere (though OP obviously does and is). It is irrelevant; they were both incompetent.

Why do you feel the need to criticise with judgements such's incompetent? God judges us on our hearts & our actual intentions, so it's immensely relevant, how sincere & genuine, the original lovely, considerate original commenter is 💚🙌💚

Because of the OP's original question. To which the answer is no, because DH is incompetent.

I agree with your husband!

To label someone Incompetent is judgemental & unnecessary
Yes of course it was rude of him to name call, but anyone can have a bad day & not have what is required on a particular day
It doesn't mean this person is incompetent in general
We don't know what else he might have on his mind
Yes it doesn't give him permission to name call, & anyone can forget things - It's just part & parcel of being human

Practically incompetent: going shopping without the means to pay. Transactionally incompetent: not being able to negotiate how to rectify their mistake. Socially incompetent: not managing an effective or convincing apology. That goes for both of them, and sounds pretty comprehensive. Not to mention the inappropriate 'twat' comment.

I've already mentioned it was unnecessary to name call
Judge not lest you be judged
It's human error to forget things, not incompetent
We're not God
Let Him - God be the judge 🙏

I don't believe in God.

Yes, I can see

Did DH just leave the things on the till? Not offer to put them back?

If not, please tell him HE is the twat, not the staff member. .

No one cares.

@HevenlyMeS does.

She just said let God judge, not that you have to believe in God.