Comment to air hostess

[Backfromthebrink]

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

This exactly.

It’s only humour if people find it funny. Who do you think, out of the parties involved, found this particular comment funny? I doubt the recipient of the comment did.

Is it ok for women to be sleazeballs too then?

Double standards surely.

She probably gets similar comments on every single flight. This doesn't make it ok. I suggest you take a deep breath, play happy families until DD is asleep then ask him how he thinks that comment made you feel.

Urgh, does he realise that not only was he being disrespectful to you, he made himself look like a complete slimebag that no woman in their right mind would touch with a bargepole

Humour? Does it not have to be funny to count as humour. Otherwise it's just a dickhead being misogynistic to a woman who is trying to do her job.

Get a grip and enjoy your holiday.

Unless you have trust issues with your DH, this shouldn’t be an issue you’re posting about.

Ok smart arse, what do you call the female person who looks after you on a flight

Cabin crew.

It’s not about trust, it’s about him being a misogynistic creep.

I was on a long haul flight and went to the back to get a drink. There is a stewardess/air hostess/female cabin crew member doing drinks and a man harassing her about taking her home as a wife. He turns to me and says, "what do you think? Tell her. I am telling her she must come home with me as a wife".
I responded that I think she just wants to have a peaceful flight without being propositioned.

I walked away as she noded sympathetically in my direction. For a split second I questioned whether I was too uptight but thought no, I did the right thing and should have done more.

I think it's horrible for men to do this. Its a flight not a brothel and am sure even brothels have protocols (as problematic as they are). Patriarchy and misogyny. Horrible twins that gaslight us.
Have a talk with him. What a *hitsack

What a cunt. What’s he teaching your daughter? And the poor air steward, she’s doing her job - with the crime of being blonde - and some fucking dad comes onto her in front of his kid. If he doesn’t see what’s wrong here I couldn’t stay with him

I would be concerned Dh had some kind of brain tumour as he would NEVER say anything like this

It has been cabin crew for a very long time now.

I’d start reading him and make jokes like “Hey, why don’t you tell her she’d be much prettier if she smiled?”, “Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?” and other examples of sexist oaf trope.

A female member of cabin crew.

What would you call the male person who looks after you on a flight? An air host?

Really?

Why such an extreme reaction?

Shit for her and shit for you, funny for him. I would have felt humiliated about my husband making that sort of joke and what that implied about me and also that he doesn't have the respect and sense to recognise these young women really don't need to hear it in their place of work. I think when you feel calmer tell him how it made you feel and also how you felt it made him look and also how potentially it made the air steward feel. If he won't have any part of it, won't listen, gets defensive and stays that way, doesn't seem remorseful that he upset you and potentially made other female uncomfortable then you've got problems with him.

Who is harassing a woman trying to do her job. I would find it cringey and infuriating in equal measure.

Oh yeah, I would be really upset about that.

I’m sure if he is misogynistic, she would have clocked it well before that comment.

Tears streaming down her face on the coach on the way to their accommodation seems really dramatic, so yes I feel there is a trust issue.

What else do you call them?

If this is the first time you've experienced him bring an embarassing creep and nuisance to other women and are not at the LTB stage, then my advice would be to nip this in the bud sharply. Dry your tears because they will make him think you're upset and jealous, and find your anger and assertiveness and tell him in no uncertain terms if he ever behaves like that again you will seriously consider your future. Because you will not live with a man who thinks that is OK. Be calm, be firm and don't be thrown off by his claims it was a harmless joke. You are the judge of that, not him.

Some of the responses on this thread… Yes, it’s a bit naff and cringey, but unless he has a history of flirting with anything that moves, I’d just chalk it up to holiday high spirits and move on. If you think there’s a chance it might happen again, then tell him you found it embarrassing.
I’m not sure it’s worthy of anything beyond that. I am far removed from ‘cool wife’ material, but I certainly wouldn’t be crying or divorcing someone over it.