Comment to air hostess

[Backfromthebrink]

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

Right. The ones going on and on and on at her about her terminology are nothing but bullying turds.

Ok. This bullshit “boys will be boys” mentality HAS TO STOP.

Stop excusing awful behaviour by men. There’s no excuse.

Secondly, can posters please stop derailing over using ‘air hostess’.

I would have absolutely ripped him a new arsehole and right there and then - but I do understand that not everyone is like me. And yes, there are some right cows on here, just loving their little digs and snipes. Poor OP, I hope she went away and never came back.

I inferred your ‘female solidarity’ from your defence of the woman in question. I’m sure it was you that said she must have been dashing round like a blue arsed fly etc. but it’s certainly easy to miss things in a busy thread.

It's crazy that people don't get this. If there was an emergency onboard I wonder if they would they expect the cabin crew to finish handing out snacks before they addressed it...

So true. If my husband had ever come out with anything this sleazy, creepy and embarrassing - I mean ever at any point in our relationship at all - we would not be married. But he is a normal, masculine properly formed adult man, not a sniggering, grubby, creepy little man child with his mummy making excuses for him as some of the commenters on this thread seem to tolerate.

My ex-husband used to do this and I've put up with his disgusting behaviour for a while. He ended up having an affair because I've had low expectations in my marriage.You are totally right that we need to raise our standards.

He has truly shown his colours, hasn't he? You thought you were married to a decent man. To find out that he is sexist pig and a potential rapist must have excruciating.
Cut the holiday short and start divorce proceedings.

I was just thinking of this!!! 👏🏻 thanks for finding 😂

Can they also stop assuming that she should feel the way they do? She's clearly hurt and this probably isn't a one off!

Same decade as my mum, who frequently comes out with terms from her era that make me wince. There’s no malice intended by it though and I definitely don’t sneer at her for it.

I imagine that people in jobs like that are well used to dealing with dickhead passengers like him. They certainly shouldn’t have to! The best response would to say, “ No, I’ll make sure I’m on another fight”.Unfortunately her professionalism would prevent it.

I'm really sorry he did that to you, women are often gaslighted by their own mothers, friends, relatives into tolerating this creepy behaviour - as we can see on this thread. At least you recognise the red flags now, I hope you are doing ok.

I can easily imagine some de-mob happy woman on the place making the same kind of crass comment to a male steward.

It’s my experience the true woman-haters don’t talk like that.

Yuck

He said that when you and daughter are there. What does he say when you’re not?

I would be livid if my husband came out with something like that. Why is he making sexualised comments to a woman who's just doing her job? It's not funny, it's sexual harassment. And if he's so comfortable disrespecting you in your presence, I can only imagine what he does when you're not around.

She's selling tickets, not her body, asshole.

Your husband thinks he's funny when he's just showing his misogynist ass for everyone to see, including his wife and daughter.

🙄

My question is, who is raising these men to be such jerks? Who is enabling these garbage men? The implication in his remark was that she's a whore for sale instead of an employee working her job.

She can't respond in the manner that remark should receive but she's on the job.

He's not a time traveler from the 2950s. There is no cause for him to be implying women are whores for his use. You need to have a talk about his really deeply rooted sexism and misogyny. He's comfortable doing that in front of you and a 9 year old girl.

No, I felt he could have complained to the manager. The two men worked there.
But........ a long time ago, I should let it go.

I'm very sorry OP. What a horrid way for your holiday to start.

Agreed.
They used to be called "trolley dollies" which was insulting.

I can beat that. I was born mid 1950's 😁
And I remember "trolley dolly" 🤔

The fact he won’t even acknowledge or apologise for saying such a pig ignorant thing is gas lighting at its finest. Frankly I’d be going off with daughter and saying if he thinks he can do so much better off he pops. It’s misogynistic and arrogant to the steward, and hideously offensive to you. As others have pointed out if he really doesn’t get what’s wrong and said it in front of your daughter what hope is there ? I’m not sure I’d be crying tho - I’d just be absolutely livid and out for vengeance! Indeed he might find his passport had mysteriously taken a swim and have to spend some calming down time relaxing at the consulate - see how well he gets in if he tries that sort of behaviour there!!