Comment to air hostess

[Backfromthebrink]

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

Vile man 😡

I would be embarrassed too and wonder how he behaves towards women when you’re not with him .
Re the term air hostess. It’s commonly used and I still say it interchangeably with cabin crew. I have a friend who IS an air hostess and uses it. That’s what she is.

Flight attendants
cabin crew

Then you’d be a mug.

This man is disrespectful, of the OP and the cabin crew. He’s a throwback. We’ve moved on. Women are entitled to do their job and not be subjected to creepy comments from overconfident and inadequate men.

My vagina would clang shut like a bear trap if my H even dreamed of making a comment like this. I’m sad that so many posters don’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Sorry, but you must be in the company of low-quality men if you don’t think it’s a problem.

@Backfromthebrink, try to have a nice holiday with your child. I’d keep my distance from the H and maybe take some time to reflect on other aspects of your relationship. This is likely not in isolation.

You knew what she meant.

Ooofe, really? Blimey! Good luck.

I’m not sure I would be fuming - I would be utterly mortified that I was attached to such a creepy lech of a man.

I would have asked him what was wrong with him and been utterly disgusted.

Air steward for male.
Cabin crew is plural so would be incorrect grammatically for 1 member of staff. You could say cabin crew member.

Op. Im sorry this happened! Your husband is disgusting, sorry he is. On every level, it was disr to the staff member on the place but also just as important is , it was disrespectful to you. Its not a joke. He wanted to flirt with this woman and if I were you id be telling so as well and dont back down , what he did wad vile.

Then you’d be a mug.

Exactly!!! 👏👏👏

It doesn't matter, we knew what she meant. There is nothing wrong with air hostess. What do you call restaurant waiting staff 'hospitality crew'?

I would be mortified that I’d accidentally married Benny hill

No you would say flight attendant.

You see this is why I couldn’t be married or in a relationship as I’m too jealous. I have no problem in admitting that. I’d go raving mad if my partner found another women as attractive as me let alone more attractive. I’d be ranting and raving on the bloody Plane. They’d end up having to land it at the nearest Airport and throw me off.

So is the fiftieth time you've hear him come out with shite like this, this year alone or is it out of character @Backfromthebrink ? How to move forward depends on context.

My DH was a bit flirty with a shop assistant on our honeymoon and I went straight back to our accommodation. He lamely came back and I put him straight that if this was how he was going to carry on, I was going home and getting out of the marriage immediately. He has never done it since and in fact, on getting to know him better (after 25 years of marriage) it was totally out of character. I have no clue what he was thinking that day and I don't think he did either.

I disagree. Air hostess makes it sound like they are only there to serve which isn't the case. There's a lot more to the job. It's unfair to compare them to waiting staff.

It’s not just insulting to you OP. She’s a professional doing her job and he sexualised her to her face whilst she’s doing that job.

He’s an arse.

I'd just say waiter

Also, actor

Also doctor

Someone's doing a job. their sex doesn't matter

And not referring to sex also helps to encourage a wider pool to apply eg referring to dinner ladies in a school keeps people thinking it's a job for women. Call them catering staff and men will apply too

Why, there is nothing wrong with being waiting staff? They too would have to be familiar with health and safety protocols and have excellent interpersonal skills. I remember the obviously sexist and derisory 'trolly dolly' label but cannot get worked up about 'air hostess'.

Not the most offensive comment ever but obviously inappropriate. For me it’s the hypocrisy really. I think the type of man that think this kind of flirty/“funny” comment is all fine is often the same type that would go especially overboard if the roles were reversed.

Anyway I guess how I’d react would depend on whether it was a one off foot in mouth moment (holiday high spirits as someone put it), or part of a pattern of how he communicates/relates to women generally.

Next time (becuase there will be) just reply - Eww, that sounded funnier in your head.
Embarrassment shifted firmly back to the guilty party aka DH.

But men and women both apply for cabin crew or waiting jobs regardless of the words air hostess and waitress. The only reason nowadays for not referring to the male or female would be that we have more people who are non binary or trans.

To be honest this would be enough for an eye roll but nothing more! I wouldn’t be that bothered but I’m quite old

And in the past only women would do this job. So the term air hostess was what was used.

Yes your DH was being a dick - just wondering how old he is? This is the kind of 'bants' I would expect from a 70 year old.

Is your DH a 'lads lads lads' type of person?

Please educate him that this type of 'joke' belongs back in the 80s