Lied to boyfriend about STD. I feel have so much guilt

[wheresamy]

I initially posted this on the relationships board but only 1 person replied. I know there’s more traffic here.

I’m probably going to get some nasty comments, and honestly I can’t blame anyone if they do. I’m 31 now, but back in my early 20s, I had unprotected sex with someone who gave me HPV. I ended up with genital warts, had them removed, and had one flare up a year later, but since then it’s been clear for at least 7-8 years. I haven’t had sex in over 5 years, so I haven’t had to discuss this with anyone.

Recently, I had a smear test, and they found HPV in my sample so I need to go back for another test in 12 months. About two weeks later, I met my current boyfriend, and I didn’t tell him. I didn’t mention it because HPV is so common, and I haven’t had a flare up in a long time.

It’s been weighing on me though. I’ve felt so guilty, so I decided to tell him today. I didn’t mention the warts, just talked about the recent smear test. He asked if I knew about it before we met, and I lied and said no. He was so lovely about it, saying it was okay, that I couldn’t have known and it was just a freak accident. He even said he wouldn’t mind if he got it since it’s very common, but still, I lied.

I feel awful with guilt, and I’m not sure how to move forward knowing I’ve lied. I’m head over heels in love with this man, and I know he might leave me if I tell him the truth, but I’m not sure I can keep going like this. I don’t think he will ever trust or look at me the same way again if I tell him. The crazy thing is I believe he would have stayed with me even if I had been honest. Now, I think he might leave because I lied. I’m so angry at myself.

I’m suppose to see him on the weekend and I’m not sure if I can look him in the eye. What do I do

Please stop embarrassing yourself! You’ve been proven wrong and are just doubling down. It’s making you look like a complete idiot.

It’s not the same charge for any other STD. There’s no judicial precedent for STDs other than HIV and herpes.

The reckless transmission of HIV and herpes has been found to be capable of amounting to the reckless infliction of grievous bodily harm pursuant to s18 OATP Act. See the cases of R v Dica [2004] EWCA Crim 1103 and R v Golding [2014] EWCA Crim 889 respectively.

Should there be an issue as to whether the STI in question meets the criteria for “grievous bodily harm” the case of Golding provides guidance on the correct approach to this question.

“The phrase ‘grievous bodily harm’ means really serious bodily harm, but it is not necessary that the harm should be either permanent or dangerous. It is not a precondition that the victim should require treatment or that the harm should have lasting consequences. In assessing whether the particular harm was grievous, account has to be taken of the effect on and the circumstances of the particular victim. Ultimately, the assessment of harm done in an individual case in a contested trial will be a matter for the jury, applying contemporary social standards.”

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/human-papilloma-virus-hpv/

Hpv isnt one virus its hundreds. The HPV that gave you warts isn't the same type as the one on your smear. There's another thats cold sores.

I do think you should talk to him but its not an STD its a virus

HPV and Herpes are totally separate things.
Educate yourself before posting inaccurate information.