Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

I looked after an ex friend's dcs when she was giving birth to her 3rd dc. No father for this baby in the picture and dcs dad wouldn't have them. SS threatened to put them in temporary foster care. I had 2 small dcs. Her dcs came absolutely riddled with headlice. When I mentioned them she said 'oh I never bother treating them as they just get them again ' Luckily my dcs didn't catch them, goodness knows how.
She was never a close friend and I faded away for other reasons.
Her dcs were lovely too.

Lol, it doesn't sound like loving herself is something she struggles with.

Just message and say oh im sorry, I've asked for time off and I cant at that time.

Anyone who uses "hun" with emotional blackmail (and usually kisses thrown in)... 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Going forward, her protecting herself from your evil, OP, is something to be celebrated!

Sorry I've just read that you've replied.
That post may 'belong to you' in her eyes but in reality it doesnt! Shes just pissed off that you aren't the walkover she thought you were. Not a friend really!

To be honest I don’t think real friends would put you on the spot like this or post about you after. My friends, if they were to ask me, would start up being like “I’m sorry to ask and it’s okay to say no”, and if I did say no they would understand and not post about me lol

I think you should maybe take it as a sign to remove her from social media and not engage with her. I wouldn’t let this blow over, I would want an apology before things got back to normal.

The not replying is extremely poor. OP was good enough to be a potential guardian of CFs son. For four days!!! Not good enough it seems for CF once OP said she felt put on the spot to say, sorry about that, completely understand, we’ll work something out and look forward to next catch up.
Agree CF and her DH wangling a jolly in with the ‘work trip’. That’s why she is so cross. Any employer would understand both parents just can’t leave a toddler.

Great advice.

I totally agree with this. I really think a real friend would not only be mortified to ask they would certainly not make you feel bad if you declined or try to shame you.
I would sever ties.

@FlyingHighandDry just a heads-up - this just popped up on my news digest from Apple 🙄

I’ve had a quick scroll through and couldn’t see this referenced elsewhere but apologies if you already know. Such lazy, shitty journalism.

Edit to add the actual link and not just a screenshot: apple.news/AkyGvAX1IRCW0Yl_fKfHC4g

Ah OK, guilty as charged. 😂

Don't worry, you're not the only one! 😂

For transparency, I had the original story all wrong - another pp explained the genuine one, but the sentiment is the same. I'd obviously put 2 and 2 together by seeing the expression used and referred to, and come up with 20 🙄. We can all be ninnies sometimes 😄

Indeed 😊!

Yes it was an eye opener!

That particular person was the Arch Bishop of CFs.

Many moons ago now tho.

Hahahaha! Didn't think of that but yes! Bearing in mind the newspaper article slates the friend too, and underlines the support OP. has had on here, it's the perfect response 😂

Cheeky fucker considering that she dumped this on you at the last minute.

nearly 10 pages in and not a single person has said “oh, I saw this meme on one of my friends stories!”

Hmmmm.

Say you've overbooked by mistake and that you're really sorry but you can't do it. Say you're meeting up with a family member and having a lovely 2 days at their house. Never give an answer on the spot, you'll often regret it. Just say can I get back to you as I'm not sure if I'll be free. X

Maybe the friend?

Don't make excuses, just tell her honestly that you're not comfortable with doing this. I'd put a stop to it right away, as this could turn into a regular "favour".

Please send her a heart to that one 🤣🥰🤣

Well, that's you told!!!!

What a completely self-obsessed, narcissistic (tautology I know, but deserved in this case) entitled CF cow!

🤣🤣🤣🤣