Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

I'm guessing you haven't read the updates. You can check on the OP's "read all".

This!!! Post this!!! Although I know I'd hate to be that petty but.....

"If you're offended by my boundaries, then you're probably one of the reasons I need them."

Or:

"Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use them. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won't accept."

Or:

'If someone has a tantrum because you set a boundary, it's just more evidence that the boundary is needed."

Or:

"You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

Post something equally passive aggressive about boundaries and people taking the piss…

"Oh no hun, what am I supposed to do now? It's really short notice for me to find someone else

I've rtft but came back to this as it's such a cheeky line! She asks you on Sunday then telling her on Thursday you can't do something in 2 months time is too short notice? Such a CF

She clearly was banking on a holiday for the two of them - any employer would understand one parent staying home in those circumstances

@Hatty65 has nailed it. And if she is rude in response it tells you everything you need to know about this friendship! Good luck @FlyingHighandDry x

Unbelievable. She should be embarrassed and apologising for putting you on the spot - I suppose the fact that she isn’t means that that was a deliberate tactic to get you to agree.

Honestly. She is an awful person.

SNAKES. ITS JUST ME N THE KIDZ NOW.
DM ME HUN.

I would put your own meme on Facebook:

People who take advantage of others, are always the ones who play the victim.

If this is your friend why not just tell her you cant, because you won't have enough annual leave? If you guys are close im sure she would understand.

I think you should like her status on both platforms just because 😂

My thoughts are that the friend is asking a bit too much. How long have yoh known this friend? I would never expect my friend of 30 years to have my child 3 night, especially with them being so young. I did not check how old this post is but would love an update.

Do not say I don't have enough annual leave because what happens when you DO want to take annual leave. So best thing is that you checked with work and can't take time off end of

Far too much responsibility to look after a child that age, tell them that, and that you feel overwhelmed at the thought of it

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Heart ❤️ it!

post the first one please!! She is so out of order!

Good point, I didn't realise it was a story.
I assumed it was a facebook post..
but maybe its possible for the Friend could always screen shot it and send it on that way, assuming again.

The principle is the same though.. don't rise to the bait and let her continue the nonsense. She's longing for that.

The OP posted this on Wednesday. If you don't want to read the whole thread, click on the OP and "see all", that will bring you up to date.
The short answer is no, she didn't understand!

I would deliberately comment something like “Hope you’re ok lovely - what’s happened?!”

Play dumb. She is hardly likely to reply and explain as will out herself as a CF. But will wind her up a bit! 😁

If anyone does say anything then you can just act deliberately confused … “I don’t understand - I was put on the spot to have to take time off work at short notice to look after her child for several days. When I looked into it I couldn’t so advised her asap.”

Ok keyboard bandit. Have a nice day.

Eh? I was trying to bring you up to speed because you obviously didn't know what had happened., no need to be rude.

😂🤣😂🤣😂

This actually happened to me with a mum from DC's primary school!!

I call it the Cheeky Fuckers Thin End of the Wedge technique.

You agree to one thing and because you've said yes to that, you have very little "reasonable" excuse to say no when they pile extra on because you've already said yes to the smaller service (child) who presumably is even less trouble than the toddler.

And if you think about it.. why was this other mystery childminder taking the older child and not the 19 month old?