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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DS massively overreacted calling the police?

243 replies

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:04

Yesterday afternoon DS (17) asked if he could borrow DH’s car to nip to the shops. He doesn’t drive, has no licence, and isn’t insured so DH obviously said no. Cue DS stomping about, muttering under his breath, slamming cupboard doors.

DH told him to pack it in and when he started swearing, took his phone off him and said he’d get it back later when he calmed down.

Next thing, DS has locked himself in his room. I assumed he was just sulking but turns out he was on his laptop calling the police. Ten minutes later there’s a knock at the door and two officers are stood there saying they’ve had a call from “a vulnerable young person” saying he was being held against his will.

They came in, had a chat with DS, realised it was a daft family row, and told him wasting police time is serious. They left soon after but now DS is acting like he’s somehow in the right and DH is fuming.

I’m embarrassed the neighbours probably saw and think we’re some sort of nightmare family. AIBU to think DS completely overreacted or should I be worried he felt this was the right course of action?

OP posts:
Whatifitallgoesright · 13/08/2025 13:06

I can't comprehend why you would even doubt this.

TheNightingalesStarling · 13/08/2025 13:09

Did they explain the consequences of wasting police time?

cryinglaughing · 13/08/2025 13:09

Hahaha what a prat!!
Hopefully you'll look back and laugh in years to come.

redskydelight · 13/08/2025 13:10

I'd be questioning why

  1. your child thought he should drive a car when he doesn't have a license and can't drive and
  2. why his response to being asked to calm down was to call the police

Neither of these are normal behaviour. What else is going on?

ponyprincess · 13/08/2025 13:10

This sounds really stressful- unless there is some other back story, your DS was out of line. No way should he have taken the car under the circumstances you say. Or called the police.

When things calm down, a conversation is needed with DS- around what was appropriate on that circumstance, but just a check in too, is he acting out because 9f something else?

Teenagers are tough!

SunlitUpland · 13/08/2025 13:10

Are you really expecting posters to say yes, your teenager was fully justified in calling 999 and claiming to be being held against his will?

PInkyStarfish · 13/08/2025 13:10

Why would you be worried about the spiteful and downright nasty actions of your offspring who doesn’t respect his father and brings the police to your door.

I wish they had charged him for wasting police time and locked him up for a day.

WearyAuldWumman · 13/08/2025 13:11

I'd be tempted to tell him that he's no longer being held against his will and should be packing his things. [Yes, bluffing.]

GinAndJuice99 · 13/08/2025 13:11

There must be a BIT more to this, at least. Why did he feel he was being held against his will?

ponyprincess · 13/08/2025 13:12

Don't worry about the police and neighbours-police can come for various reasons e.g. stolen phone etc

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 13/08/2025 13:12

He's 17 and pulled this shit?
Christ there really is no hope for the human race...
Your son is a fuckwit and i'd also be fuming at him.
Shame the Police didn't charge him with wasting thier time. I was going to say I'm amazed that they came out as they can't even be arsed when a real crime is committed but I'm sure they were just covering themselves due to the type of call.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 13/08/2025 13:12

This whole scenario just makes no sense to me whatsoever.

ponyprincess · 13/08/2025 13:13

PInkyStarfish · 13/08/2025 13:10

Why would you be worried about the spiteful and downright nasty actions of your offspring who doesn’t respect his father and brings the police to your door.

I wish they had charged him for wasting police time and locked him up for a day.

That's a bit harsh- this may be a cry for help for other issues- mental health etc

Aspanielstolemysanity · 13/08/2025 13:13

I'd be worried about his mental health? His grip on reality seems quite loose (if the facts are as you tell them)

DidIdotheritething · 13/08/2025 13:13

I’d be asking him where he was intending to be living going forward as his starter for 10. And having a hard conversation with him about acceptable behaviour.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 13/08/2025 13:15

Is DH his dad? Who paid for the phone? How did he call the police without a phone or does he have a landline in his room?

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 13/08/2025 13:16

What’s the backstory here with your son?

Why would he even think that asking to take the car was a reasonable request in the first place?

Then when told no, he became aggressive.

Then when told to pack it in he called the police?

He’s either an entirely spoilt and entitled little brat or he has some serious issues.Which is it?

Motheranddaughter · 13/08/2025 13:16

I would be worried about his mental health
Also I would not have taken a phone from a 17 year old

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 13/08/2025 13:16

He’s SEVENTEEN and thought any of this was any way to behave?? Is there a backstory?

dogcatkitten · 13/08/2025 13:17

Did you tell the police his intention to drive a car totally illegally?

The whole thing sounds really bizarre behaviour from a 17 year old, does he often act so strangely or was he using something or drinking?

PinkFrogss · 13/08/2025 13:18

This is crazy OP. If he says he’s in the right keep pointing out that the police told him he was wasting their time.

DH needs to keep his keys on him so DS doesn’t take his car out without permission.

Dweetfidilove · 13/08/2025 13:21

Did he wake up this entitled and dramatic yesterday or has he been escalating?

I can't imagine why a rightminded child would think a rightminded parent would allow them to drive uninsured and without a licence. And why would he think the police are the right people to call to enforce his foolery?

Snorlaxo · 13/08/2025 13:21

Does your son have some sort of learning disability to think that he was in any way right ?

A normal interaction would be the 17 year old asking dad to drive him to the shops then sulking when dad said no. Then he might ask dad to order what he wants via a delivery service like Deliveroo. Why on earth would he think that it was appropriate to use a car to with no license or insurance? Why would he think that the police would order his dad to hand over the keys?

If you son doesn’t have learning disabilities then I’d be looking for drugs and telling Ds that his actions were insane (overreaction is a far too mild word for what transpired)

Original poster
YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:21

Thanks for the replies.

No, there’s no huge backstory I’m leaving out. He’s not usually like this which is why I’m so baffled. He’s had a strop before over being told no, but never anything on this scale.

I think he genuinely thought he’d get to borrow the car if he pushed hard enough. DH is not his dad but they usually get on fine. I didn’t even know you could call 999 from a laptop but apparently you can now.

Police did explain about wasting their time, they were very clear, but I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.

And no, I wouldn’t actually throw him out before anyone suggests it - though the thought did cross my mind for about five seconds.

OP posts:
AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 13/08/2025 13:22

Must we always end up with “mental health”? It’s become a buzz word used to justify all kinds of shit behaviour, nobody can challenge any more because it must be “mental health reasons.”

Far more likely the little shit has been watching too much TikTok where these kids all “know their rights” and are telling each other to “call the police” and tell them x and y.

I mean you only have to look at MN to see how many posters advise each other to “call the police” for the most trivial shit.

We need to stop pandering to this constant “mental health” excuse. While there’s no doubt that there are some people who have genuine MH problems, the term is now used as a get-out of any kind of situation.

We need to start calling behaviour out for what it is. And frankly if my 17 year old made that kind of accusation against me, not only would I be hoping he’d be charge with wasting police time, but I’d be telling him that if he felt he was being held here against his will he could move the fuck out.

He’s seventeen..

He’s old enough to drive, to have sex, to get married. He’s old enough and should be held responsible for his fucking awful behaviour.