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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DS massively overreacted calling the police?

243 replies

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:04

Yesterday afternoon DS (17) asked if he could borrow DH’s car to nip to the shops. He doesn’t drive, has no licence, and isn’t insured so DH obviously said no. Cue DS stomping about, muttering under his breath, slamming cupboard doors.

DH told him to pack it in and when he started swearing, took his phone off him and said he’d get it back later when he calmed down.

Next thing, DS has locked himself in his room. I assumed he was just sulking but turns out he was on his laptop calling the police. Ten minutes later there’s a knock at the door and two officers are stood there saying they’ve had a call from “a vulnerable young person” saying he was being held against his will.

They came in, had a chat with DS, realised it was a daft family row, and told him wasting police time is serious. They left soon after but now DS is acting like he’s somehow in the right and DH is fuming.

I’m embarrassed the neighbours probably saw and think we’re some sort of nightmare family. AIBU to think DS completely overreacted or should I be worried he felt this was the right course of action?

OP posts:
RhododendronFlowers · 13/08/2025 21:30

Dweetfidilove · 13/08/2025 19:15

Sweet Jesus 😳☹️

It's unbelievable, isn't it? "End up with injuries". I despair sometimes.

Arraminta · 13/08/2025 21:47

KitKateKat · 13/08/2025 14:43

I think the request was clearly ridiculous and unreasonable (to take Dad's car) but his reaction (I think) was because you took his phone off him (although if he has a laptop, it wasn't that big of a punishment). My kids go nuclear if I try to take their phones so I just don't or I'd end up with injuries. It's not good or easy, and I feel for you (and me). Get those car keys hidden / locked away just in case he has any ideas or you'll have a car written off and God knows what else to deal with... and let time heal this particular incident. Unfortunately, we have to live with this generation and just look forward to a time when we are free from it. LOL!! Sending a fellow parental arm squeeze to you. x

Wait, what? You would 'end up with injuries' if you tried to remove your teen's phone? WTAF?

How can things have gone so horribly, horribly wrong?

Dweetfidilove · 13/08/2025 22:34

RhododendronFlowers · 13/08/2025 21:30

It's unbelievable, isn't it? "End up with injuries". I despair sometimes.

It is! Said so nonchalantly, as if it's just one of things that's totally understandable.

KandyKrush · 13/08/2025 22:59

RhododendronFlowers · 13/08/2025 21:30

It's unbelievable, isn't it? "End up with injuries". I despair sometimes.

Yeah this is what happens when parents are told that proportionately disciplining children = abuse.

Arraminta · 13/08/2025 23:20

KandyKrush · 13/08/2025 22:59

Yeah this is what happens when parents are told that proportionately disciplining children = abuse.

Not properly disciplining your children is what's abusive. Because if you don't, you end up raising deeply unpleasant, entitled, irritating children that no one else will actually like.

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 14/08/2025 08:26

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Ha ha. No idea but knowing his mother, yes, wrapped in a piece of his skin!

ponyprincess · 14/08/2025 11:03

Isxmasoveryet · 13/08/2025 14:12

Was waiting for the mental health ADHD card to be played lol

It's a genuine thing to check, not a 'card to be played'. It's a responsible thing to consider as this is pretty extreme behaviour.

I think lol at potential mental health issues, a cry for help is nit the response I would give as a parent.

You do you

the5thgoldengirl · 14/08/2025 11:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ponyprincess · 14/08/2025 12:32

Sorry duplicate post

GreyAreas · 14/08/2025 12:45

Hormones wise it is an age where there's an impulse to show dominance over other males in the household, especially Dad/Step Dad. And a tough time to be feeling unsuccessful. Maybe something going on with peers or love interests? Wanting to show someone he can drive/has a car without actually having to do the work of earning his licence? Calling the police seems cringingly embarrassing, so that seems odd, but maybe the self righteousness of youth? Or moaning to online friends and exaggerating and being egged on to call them? I would find out about online and real life friends and what is going on.

RhododendronFlowers · 14/08/2025 15:05

Oh ffs. "Hormones" don't make you throw such a tantrum about not being allowed to use a car that you actually call the police and accuse your parents of criminal intent.

Isxmasoveryet · 15/08/2025 12:45

ponyprincess · 14/08/2025 11:03

It's a genuine thing to check, not a 'card to be played'. It's a responsible thing to consider as this is pretty extreme behaviour.

I think lol at potential mental health issues, a cry for help is nit the response I would give as a parent.

You do you

It card played all to quickly for every scenario involving anything my did this o have u looked at ADHD my child did that o have you looked at mh my child did the other o they Def have autism when the stuff is normal childhood stuff

ponyprincess · 15/08/2025 12:55

Isxmasoveryet · 15/08/2025 12:45

It card played all to quickly for every scenario involving anything my did this o have u looked at ADHD my child did that o have you looked at mh my child did the other o they Def have autism when the stuff is normal childhood stuff

Mental health doesn't automatically mean ADHD or autism- there are other types of mental suffering- bullying, abuse etc. It is worth considering as a possibility even to rule out if that's the case.

Just a question to the DC to see 8f stressful things are going on. That's in the umbrella of mental health too.

ponyprincess · 15/08/2025 12:56

ponyprincess · 15/08/2025 12:55

Mental health doesn't automatically mean ADHD or autism- there are other types of mental suffering- bullying, abuse etc. It is worth considering as a possibility even to rule out if that's the case.

Just a question to the DC to see 8f stressful things are going on. That's in the umbrella of mental health too.

What this DC did is not under 'normal childhood stuff'

Isxmasoveryet · 18/08/2025 06:45

ponyprincess · 15/08/2025 12:55

Mental health doesn't automatically mean ADHD or autism- there are other types of mental suffering- bullying, abuse etc. It is worth considering as a possibility even to rule out if that's the case.

Just a question to the DC to see 8f stressful things are going on. That's in the umbrella of mental health too.

Maybe the kids just a spoilt brat who is used to give me what I want or I scream type household and for first time in his life someone said no

sulon · 19/08/2025 11:13

Maybe he was bragging to friends that he could get a car for the evening!

Arraminta · 19/08/2025 19:17

If either our DDs tried a stunt like this (which they never have) I would go full scorched Earth on them. No mercy, no debate, no discussion.

But, I believe that if a teenager genuinely thought this is a viable option then their parenting framework is already badly broken. You'd need a time machine to travel back to their toddlerhood and instill it into their very DNA that this sort of spiteful stunt can never, ever be an option.

JudgeJ · 20/08/2025 10:24

PrincessJasmine1 · 13/08/2025 21:12

It reminds me of my 9 year old nephew who regularly threatens his grandma to call the police, because he cannot rule in her house, the way he rules in his.

And she still lets him in? The door would have been locked after the first threat.

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