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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DS massively overreacted calling the police?

243 replies

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:04

Yesterday afternoon DS (17) asked if he could borrow DH’s car to nip to the shops. He doesn’t drive, has no licence, and isn’t insured so DH obviously said no. Cue DS stomping about, muttering under his breath, slamming cupboard doors.

DH told him to pack it in and when he started swearing, took his phone off him and said he’d get it back later when he calmed down.

Next thing, DS has locked himself in his room. I assumed he was just sulking but turns out he was on his laptop calling the police. Ten minutes later there’s a knock at the door and two officers are stood there saying they’ve had a call from “a vulnerable young person” saying he was being held against his will.

They came in, had a chat with DS, realised it was a daft family row, and told him wasting police time is serious. They left soon after but now DS is acting like he’s somehow in the right and DH is fuming.

I’m embarrassed the neighbours probably saw and think we’re some sort of nightmare family. AIBU to think DS completely overreacted or should I be worried he felt this was the right course of action?

OP posts:
Sevenamcoffee · 13/08/2025 13:23

It’s really odd behaviour. I assume there is more to this because 17 year olds would not normally behave like this.

Daleksatemyshed · 13/08/2025 13:23

Your DS knew exactly which words to say to get a police response without regard to anything, wasting police time or trying to get his DF into trouble. Has he been overindulged Op or is just an entitled little sod because either way it's pretty shocking behaviour

Aspanielstolemysanity · 13/08/2025 13:23

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 13/08/2025 13:22

Must we always end up with “mental health”? It’s become a buzz word used to justify all kinds of shit behaviour, nobody can challenge any more because it must be “mental health reasons.”

Far more likely the little shit has been watching too much TikTok where these kids all “know their rights” and are telling each other to “call the police” and tell them x and y.

I mean you only have to look at MN to see how many posters advise each other to “call the police” for the most trivial shit.

We need to stop pandering to this constant “mental health” excuse. While there’s no doubt that there are some people who have genuine MH problems, the term is now used as a get-out of any kind of situation.

We need to start calling behaviour out for what it is. And frankly if my 17 year old made that kind of accusation against me, not only would I be hoping he’d be charge with wasting police time, but I’d be telling him that if he felt he was being held here against his will he could move the fuck out.

He’s seventeen..

He’s old enough to drive, to have sex, to get married. He’s old enough and should be held responsible for his fucking awful behaviour.

Its not about justifying his behaviour, but if i was a parent then yes I would be making it unclear the behaviour wasn't ok but I would also be worrying about what was underlying it.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 13/08/2025 13:24

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:21

Thanks for the replies.

No, there’s no huge backstory I’m leaving out. He’s not usually like this which is why I’m so baffled. He’s had a strop before over being told no, but never anything on this scale.

I think he genuinely thought he’d get to borrow the car if he pushed hard enough. DH is not his dad but they usually get on fine. I didn’t even know you could call 999 from a laptop but apparently you can now.

Police did explain about wasting their time, they were very clear, but I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.

And no, I wouldn’t actually throw him out before anyone suggests it - though the thought did cross my mind for about five seconds.

How much time does he spend on social media?

Because I would bet my house that this is where it comes from. It almost always does.

Social media is going to be the scandal of twenty years time if not sooner.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 13/08/2025 13:24

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:21

Thanks for the replies.

No, there’s no huge backstory I’m leaving out. He’s not usually like this which is why I’m so baffled. He’s had a strop before over being told no, but never anything on this scale.

I think he genuinely thought he’d get to borrow the car if he pushed hard enough. DH is not his dad but they usually get on fine. I didn’t even know you could call 999 from a laptop but apparently you can now.

Police did explain about wasting their time, they were very clear, but I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.

And no, I wouldn’t actually throw him out before anyone suggests it - though the thought did cross my mind for about five seconds.

what consequences have you put in place for his behaviour?

Britneyfan · 13/08/2025 13:27

Of course your DS completely overreacted lol. Wow this is taking teenage strops to new heights! He locked himself in his room, you didn’t lock him in. Presumably he was welcome to walk out of the house if he wanted, just not to borrow a car when he’s not a driver! The audacity! Hopefully he has now learned his lesson that police have better things to do than deal with teenage strops. If this is unusual for him, I wouldn’t worry too much, I think my sister once called Childline to complain she wasn’t being allowed to watch TV as she had to do her homework or something! She did not repeat that error!

Sevenamcoffee · 13/08/2025 13:27

Aspanielstolemysanity · 13/08/2025 13:23

Its not about justifying his behaviour, but if i was a parent then yes I would be making it unclear the behaviour wasn't ok but I would also be worrying about what was underlying it.

Show quote history

Yes and op has posted it’s out of character so I would be worried about it if he was mine because it’s odd.

Topseyt123 · 13/08/2025 13:27

I hope you and your DH keep all sets of your car keys (including the spares) where he cannot get them.

Not sure if there's a backstory here, but it does sound like your DS is a fuckwit who thinks the laws about driving while uninsured and unlicensed do not apply to him.

ChestnutGrove · 13/08/2025 13:30

Asking to borrow the car when he doesn't drive and then calling the police is bonkers behaviour.

BunnyLake · 13/08/2025 13:30

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:21

Thanks for the replies.

No, there’s no huge backstory I’m leaving out. He’s not usually like this which is why I’m so baffled. He’s had a strop before over being told no, but never anything on this scale.

I think he genuinely thought he’d get to borrow the car if he pushed hard enough. DH is not his dad but they usually get on fine. I didn’t even know you could call 999 from a laptop but apparently you can now.

Police did explain about wasting their time, they were very clear, but I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.

And no, I wouldn’t actually throw him out before anyone suggests it - though the thought did cross my mind for about five seconds.

What was he planning to do once in the car if he can’t drive?

This is very odd behaviour, out of the realms of normality. Would he have a strop if he was told he couldn’t pilot the plane he was in or drive the train he was on?

Does he have problems regulating himself? He has the emotional responses of a two year old.

ChestnutGrove · 13/08/2025 13:32

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 13/08/2025 13:22

Must we always end up with “mental health”? It’s become a buzz word used to justify all kinds of shit behaviour, nobody can challenge any more because it must be “mental health reasons.”

Far more likely the little shit has been watching too much TikTok where these kids all “know their rights” and are telling each other to “call the police” and tell them x and y.

I mean you only have to look at MN to see how many posters advise each other to “call the police” for the most trivial shit.

We need to stop pandering to this constant “mental health” excuse. While there’s no doubt that there are some people who have genuine MH problems, the term is now used as a get-out of any kind of situation.

We need to start calling behaviour out for what it is. And frankly if my 17 year old made that kind of accusation against me, not only would I be hoping he’d be charge with wasting police time, but I’d be telling him that if he felt he was being held here against his will he could move the fuck out.

He’s seventeen..

He’s old enough to drive, to have sex, to get married. He’s old enough and should be held responsible for his fucking awful behaviour.

I agree. It seems more like brattish behaviour than mental health issues, even if he's not normally brattish.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 13/08/2025 13:33

I think you need to speak to him again. Say that as he doesn’t have a licence and isn’t on the insurance, even if DH said yes to him driving the car, you’d call the police, give them the car reg and he’d be looking at a long ban before he’d even passed his test, putting insurance out of his price range for years after that. It’s illegal and no amount of tantrum throwing will change that.

Is his dad around? Can you explain to him what DS did /wanted to do, explain you are having to hide car keys and he needs to be aware for when DS is with him.

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 13/08/2025 13:34

cryinglaughing · 13/08/2025 13:09

Hahaha what a prat!!
Hopefully you'll look back and laugh in years to come.

there is absolutely nothing funny about this. He is an entitled little brat who has wasted valuable police time and resources that the UK taxpayer are forking out for.
Vulnerable my arse. Forget giving the phone back. Cancel it outright.

Momstermash94 · 13/08/2025 13:35

At 17 he's way too old be acting that ridiculous I'm sorry.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 13/08/2025 13:35

My ds 10 is more mature than him.What a div.

Marchsunshine · 13/08/2025 13:36

I think I'd be hiding the car keys going forward, just in case he takes it into his head to just try and drive somewhere another time.

MikeRafone · 13/08/2025 13:36

so your ds thinks he is in the right - even though the police have told him he is in the wrong?

Goldbar · 13/08/2025 13:36

He's lucky your DH was there to stop him taking the car or he'd be in a police cell right now.

Radiowaawaa · 13/08/2025 13:38

I would be concerned that he was so sure about using the car and calling the police especially if this is unusual for him.

Maybe other stuff going on for him? Is he stressed about college? Being bullied? Drugs?

How much do you know about his online life?

purplecorkheart · 13/08/2025 13:38

Is there a back story to this? Does your ds have other issues?

On the face of it, it is a strange request to borrow the car when he cannot drive. I do think it was a slight over reaction on you dh part to take away his phone because he was being a bit stroopy.

I do agree with the posters who suggest ensuring that he has no way of accessing the keys. Hopefully this will give him a sharp shock.

Radiowaawaa · 13/08/2025 13:39

I would be concerned that he was so sure about using the car and calling the police especially if this is unusual for him.

Maybe other stuff going on for him? Is he stressed about college? Being bullied? Drugs?

How much do you know about his online life?

Snorlaxo · 13/08/2025 13:39

I agree with hiding the car keys from now on.

Mistyglade · 13/08/2025 13:39

Good grief, this is one of the maddest things I’ve read on here, of course YANBU. What the fuck is wrong with him. He’s gonna cringe something sorry when he’s older. Not sure brat remotely covers it.

Berthatydfil · 13/08/2025 13:40

I would be calling the police and asking next time they had an officer in the area they call in and explain to your son the consequences of driving without a licence, and driving without insurance.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 13/08/2025 13:41

He’s acting like a much younger child though @YellowBall72 frankly in a manner that would suggest he has a learning disability. Is he waiting on A Levels or something stressful?

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