To think holidays with kids are 90% shit

[hagridshair]

Currently away with DH and 3 dc (13, 10 and 2) and it’s just not been fun so far. Lovely hotel, loads going on but eldest just wants to be on his phone. He refused to wear a hat today and has been complaining of headache tonight so has been in a bad mood. Middle child is quite easily pleased, toddler too but obviously they are demanding in different ways. Between running around after them all and trying to make sure all are fed, hydrated, sun creamed and entertained me and dh are both knackered. No time to relax.

Eldests attitude has annoyed me a bit even though I know it’s typical teen behaviour. Just not really bothered about chatting or watching the entertainment with us during the evening. It’s also very hot 35 degrees pretty much everyday so I’m worried about keeping them all safe in the sun.

We look forward to this holiday all year and when it happens it always feels like a big anti climax. There have been some good moments, love watching my toddler dancing and enjoying things here for the first time. But it’s very hard work.

I am starting to be of the view that summer holidays are hard work but holidays at different times of the year are much nicer. This year we did self catering so own pool but it’s too hot to do anything but swim at 35 degrees plus, everyone’s getting bid to shreds by mozzies despite a ton of spray and it feels like hard work this time round especially as it’s a 25 minute walk into town for restaurants which the kids are moaning about. Your age gap will make that harder. I had a holiday in May half term last year that I enjoyed much more. It was a much better set up for us.

My DD really doesn’t like hotel package holidays we learned this a few years ago 🤣 she is now 11 and much prefers a “ doing things” holiday sometimes abroad but she loves UK holidays she finds the activity choice better.

if we go abroad it’s more like theme park / city / cycling lake places.
she loves swimming but doesn’t want to do it every day !
she likes the beach but for an hour or so haha
so we do these things at other times or on uk holidays we do swimming a few hours and then do the rest of the stuff.

My DD really doesn’t like hotel package holidays we learned this a few years ago 🤣 she is now 11 and much prefers a “ doing things” holiday sometimes abroad but she loves UK holidays she finds the activity choice better.

if we go abroad it’s more like theme park / city / cycling lake places.
she loves swimming but doesn’t want to do it every day !
she likes the beach but for an hour or so haha
so we do these things at other times or on uk holidays we do swimming a few hours and then do the rest of the stuff.

Then don't go anywhere where there will be high temperatures and just let them relax and do what they like, and stop putting so much pressure on yourself and them to have a perfect holiday.

I so loved going on holidays with my kids, and now they are adults I'd be delighted if we could all go away together from time to time. In fact, I am going to organise a short break with them, now that I think of it, great memories of holidays when they were young has inspired me.

That’s very unfair. OP’s experience and feelings count as well.

Did the children get any input regarding the holiday? Are you staying in a resort or do you go out and about? We always arrived somewhere, found the tourist information or the stand with a million leaflets on and got the children to pick what they liked the look of and then would decide where to visit. We’d also find a museum or gallery to visit and we all have great memories of our family holidays.

Absolutely love our family holidays. Exploring together, everytime we’ve been away we see our son mature that little bit more. We do involve him in decision making about where we’re going etc. he’s so happy to go away too. He’s now in charge of packing lists and has been for a few years, he researches destinations in the run up. We pick holidays where there’s plenty for him to do. He has ADHD so needs time out, finds loud places overwhelming so we pick places that suit our family. At 13 (same age as our son) he prob pissed off at being hauled round hotel entertainment and spending time with a toddler who needs very different things to keep him entertained. I think you issue lies in 3 kids with a huge age gap so very different needs.

We go away loads as a family of 3 and love it.

Can’t relate but then struck lucky and had two well behaved close in age same sex who get on.

12 is an adjustment for parents - they are no longer a cute easy kid you can boss about. I remember being that age and my usually lovely parents spending a whole holiday yelling at me and I genuinely didn’t know what I was doing wrong,

They pull away from the family unit and it can be hard for some parents (like mine) to accept. I made sure we didn’t react like this when our own kids hit that age

I've always genuinely enjoyed hols with my two (10 & 13 DSs). I realise they could get trickier as they get older! I'd never do anywhere properly hot though - I think very few kids / teens cope well with it.

Schools are back this morning for some. Woohoo!! Thank goodness!

Thank you for all of the helpful comments. I’m disregarding the ungrateful and ‘don’t know I’m born’ comments as I know it’s not the case. You can be appreciative of something but still find it hard.

Agree the age gap makes everything 10 x harder even in day to day life. I massively struggle in the summer as Dh works full time and most of the childcare falls on me.

This is a package beach/pool holiday and the points about doing something different next year or holidaying at a different time are valid. Although I do like to go away during the 6 weeks holidays as it breaks up the time a bit. We asked eldest if there’s anything he’d like to do off resort but it was met with absolutely no enthusiasm or ideas and I also feel it’s far too hot to be walking far. The other 2 will do a few clubs as there’s an extensive kids clubs here but I wouldn’t leave the toddler alone yet.

I just felt very deflated last night, woke up in the night feeling very anxious and a bit offish, but will try and rally today. We are lucky to have this time with our dc and to be in a nice place. Eldest can do what we wants. I’m just starting to worry that I’m not raising him in the right way if all he wants to do is grunt, stare at a phone and not interact with anyone but it’s nice to know that others have said this is typical teen stuff!

Yanbu the key to a nice holiday with kids is focusing it completely around them if their happy everyone is if their not you know about it. Also dont go on holiday with 2 year olds or 13/14 year olds they're definitely the worse ages

We're on week 7 of summer holidays in Ireland with two weeks remaining!!

Feeling your pain, but... I absolutely love our family holidays even since separating from their Dad, we holiday together and do trips and days out as a family. I'm lucky as we're alike in what we enjoy, being outdoors, a bit adventurous, willing to try anything. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and time with us all together is wonderful.

It won't be long for you guys. Two weeks isn't long to go - you're almost there!! That's such a long summer off though 😱

You're not wrong OP and it's the reason we haven't had a holiday since our eldest was a baby. We've had a few nights away since which were absolute madness and I don't want to extend that! I've learnt my lesson. We won't be going on a family holiday for another few years. It's hard work.

Sorry to hear this OP.
Maybe this sort of holiday just doesn’t work for you and your family these days.

We used to do Mark Warner holidays when the kids were little - might be worth a look? It’s a bit like a holiday camp. Bags of English kids so your kids can make friends and have a great time sailing, playing tennis, getting involved in various sociable and sporty activities.
It’s expensive but everyone had a great time - and I had a break from constant childcare. They do good last-minute deals - we always used to leave it until a few weeks before to book.

We have two weeks off in October in our local authority so have done our main holiday of the year then. Just last year. We all enjoyed it as it was lovely and cool. No need for sun cream but weather still comfortable for outdoor activities. Could you look into holidaying at a different time of year instead and just do a stay cation in the summer holidays? Lots of ways to be flexible about it.

I think from your posts you are over thinking this holiday.

from your imagination of how the holiday would be to the thinking that you’re not raising your teen correctly, as all he wants to do is look at his phone.

give yourself a break, please

start thinking about you

im sure your dc are all lovely and having a great time.

i used to holiday in France a lot solo with my dc and coming home the tension between families on the ferry was very real. People aren’t used to spending 24/7 together/ it’s not what happens at home. It’s a very different environment and a bit false.

so you’re doing well if you’ve not fallen out

Yes they're 90percent hard through my experience. However I can't imagine sunbathing in 35 degrees heat or chasing a toddler in that heat!! I went to Turkey during Easter the weather was amazing 18-24 degrees that's manageable.

Definitely harder with an age gap, and the type of holiday makes a difference too - a pool holiday when its too hot to enjoy it would be pretty miserable for anyone, which is why I never take my family on those kinds of holidays.

With age gaps it can help to divide - one of you do something with the youngest and the other with the older two. For next year consider a holiday somewhere cooler with fun activities the oldest or older two can do, or let the oldest take a friend - our holiday this year was a success because we holidayed with family so my 14 year old had two cousins closer in age to her than her little brother and they played volleyball and card games a lot.

Op you need to take a proper break. Book a massage, or take three hours to read a book under the trees in your own. Your dh needs to take over solo for at least one afternoon, probably more. You will immediately feel better.

I hope you report back on here that you have had a proper rest. You can’t pour from an empty cup…

I think you have a really difficult age gap and are on the wrong kind of holiday. Hopefully this thread has given you some ideas about different things you could do next year. Teenagers can be a right PITA.

I disagree. I absolutely love holidays with my son, he’s 5 and I’ve taken him all over the world (Thailand, India, Malaysia, Egypt, Caribbean, Central America, Europe etc etc) and he’s an absolute dream to travel with. Although I’m aware that one child vs two adults is a VERY different experience to 3 children. We’re due our second (and last) baby in February so maybe holidays with them both will get harder 🙈

We’ll also be having a 5.5 year gap so that’ll probably make it harder too!