Sons boyfriend ruining our holiday

[SummerHolidayys]

DS is 21, his bf is 19 (turning 20 during this trip). They've been dating for about a year and to be honest I don't know much about him. He's not very talkative and while I have tried it doesn't really go anywhere

His BF is has MH issues. We're currently away in Spain. We got here Sunday. Since then there's been nothing but problems with bf, complaining about the food even food I've seen him eat, pizza etc he doesn't want or like apparently.

He's been overly touchy and kissing with DS in front of us (me, DD, my sister & her children) and DS hasn't said anything but I can tell he looks uncomfortable.

He's taken a dislike to DD for some reason and told DS she threatened him, she's 14 and didn't witness this but I doubt she did. He just seems generally in a mood, doesn't want to go anywhere. DS kindly asked if he'd taken his meds and he started shouting at him and took it as an insult.

There's more but I don't want to make this too long. I wish I hadn't let him come now, I want to go home early.

Oh dear, OP, that doesn’t sound like my ch not a holiday at all!!

DS’s BF seems manipulative and controlling, and more mentally unwell, than just depression and anxiety. Doesn’t seem to have any insight or ability to take any responsibility for himself or how he’s feeling. I hope DS realises this soon and dumps the twat!

I think DD should have said that she’d chuck him in the pool if he carried on!! 😂 He needs a wake up call!!

Go out without them, leave them to it. They’re meant to be adults…. BF will moan either way, that’s down to his mindset, so try to salvage what you can, and don’t let it ruin any more of your holiday than it has and that is unavoidable!!

Good luck!!

This!!

Our DS was in a relationship towards the end of his 1st year at Uni, we went to see him for the day ( he started Uni coming out of lockdown etc so barely saw him )
He had love bites over his neck, our eldest DS ( struggles a bit with social skills) pointed them out straight away, think he was worried about him.
Turns out he ( the boyfriend) was cheating on our DS, he was so upset , I never met him but obviously hated him, cursed him!
I think lovebites are a sign of “possession”, controlling behaviour.
We have a 15 yr old DD, some of her friends would quite easily throw someone who was being disrespectful into a pool!
(Not saying that your DD said anything )
Hope it all works out somehow, you get to relax a bit .

bf doesn’t have MH ‘issues’. The little twat has Bad Behaviour and No F*%#ing Manners ‘issues’. He appears to have had bad or no parenting. Regrettably it falls to you to temporarily fill the gap. Make it plain to the bf that his attitude and demeanour are affecting everyone’s enjoyment. Let DS know of his responsibility in all of this too. At 21 he’s an adult and his lack of consideration for you and the rest of the family group is disrespectful at best, shocking at worst. It’s his relationship. If he values that and the baggage that accompanies it more than the one he has with you, then he forfeits the right to piggyback and sour things for everyone else. Tough, I know - and I truly sympathise - but it needs doing. If not, it’ll come home with you.

@SummerHolidayys How was the rest of the holiday?