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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH to take on job further away. Worried about coping with DC etc alone. Anyone done it. Tips?

251 replies

CoralSea · 12/08/2025 14:25

Not really an aibu but more looking for reassurance and tips.

DH was made redundant a little while ago and struggled to find a job locally so he looked further away. He is middle aged and the job market is crap but found a decent job about 4h from where we live for a decent salary. took ages though. He plans to get a little place there and come home from time to time (weekly if possible but may be less).

I will stay behind. We have 3 DSs, one is starting A-levels, and the two younger ones have complex needs with EHCPs and places in special schools which we fought hard for - so uprooting them isn't an option and I would struggle to find work (I have been with my current employer for many years and have shed loads of flexibility - nobody else would take me on). I have no support network and family and I really worry I will struggle and not cope on my own. On the plus side, DH has a job and we secured a full time salary (even though outgoings will go up with having to maintain 2 homes).

Anyone done that. can this work? any tips regarding practicalities. I don't really know what I am asking for but it's a huge change.

OP posts:
AmIEnough · 19/08/2025 07:33

Is it possible that because there will be money left over you can get a little help a couple of times a week to give you a break in terms of helping out with the kids?

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