To not help my friend- passport fraud

[Ravenblue]

My friend and me are quite close. Two years ago she wanted a new baby and found a sperm donor on a website. This bloke got her pregnant but then he wanted access. She didn't want him to but the courts gave him access and now he has the kid a couple of times a month. My friend is now married and she changed her kids name to her new husbands name. The father has found out and is now going back to the courts. She also got a passport in the new name and the father nows this. The father is now going to the police as he says its passport fraud. I dont believe him as she has the right to change her childs name but it says not in the court order. Its like she cant do anything without his permission. Its not fair on her.
She wants my help in trying to get her out of this but I dont know how and also I don't think shes in the wrong.

AIBU?

What does she actually expect you to do?

Do not get involved

Do not get involved. There is nothing you can do that would be helpful.

Don't get involved but as a general point, she doesn't have the right to change the child's name without his permission. He has parental responsibility by the sounds of it, so he has the right to input on those kinda of decisions. I'm surprised you think it's not fair on her that she can't do what she wants. She's not the sole parent.

It all sounds quite dodgy I wouldn't get involved .

Did she put SD name on birth cert?

What help can you actually give?
Stay clear. She needs legal advice on this.

If he now has parental responsibility awarded by the court then she can't change the surname without his permission. She shouldn't have changed their names or got new passports if she didn't have his permission to do so.

She can NOT change the babies babe without his permission. He’s the babies dad! I had to go to court to get my kids name charged as the dad didn’tagree, and the judge only agreed as the dad was a convicted criminal and so it was in the kids best interests. She’s going to be in trouble if she’s lied on passport forms and in the deed poll as that’s literally LYING and fraudulently defining the uk government 😮😮😮.

Also, she doesn’t own that child. The child is not a handbag. The dad AND the mum have equal rights. She sounds awful.

Why is it not fair on her? He is the child’s father, whether she likes it or not.

She absolutely is in the wrong and you shouldn't get involved at all

"She wants my help in trying to get her out of this but I dont know how"

Have you asked her how she expects you to help?

"and also I don't think shes in the wrong"

Why does it matter what you think? Have you Googled and found out what the law says?

Tell her to get legal advice . Don’t get involved

It's not clear what help she imagines you can provide. Are you a specialist in family law? Do you work at the passport office?

I dont believe him as she has the right to change her childs name but it says not in the court order.

The court order is what counts here, not whether you think she has rights. The court order says she doesn’t have the right to change the child’s name, and that takes priority. I’d stay well out of it.

Poor kid. Cant choose your parents, sadly.

She’s in the wrong. But why did she put him on the birth certificate in the first place??

What was this website? Gumtree?! Sperm donors don't have legal rights, no parental responsibility and are not named on the birth certificate - this is in the UK when the donation takes place via a licensed clinic.

As it is, whatever route she went came without these protections and as a result the father has rights under the law and, no, she is not entitled to arbitrarily change her child's name without consultation and agreement with the father.

So I don't see how you can help her, when this situation has legal precedence. Except suggest that she seeks specific legal advice, although I don't think she has a leg to stand on.

Don’t get involved. She’s legally in the wrong.

She’s a fast mover to go from some dodgy sperm donation to married in 2 years. I can’t see how you can help her. Even if you were capable of giving good legal advice, I don’t think she’d listen.

Your “friend” is so very wrong.

Actually you do t naturally always have the right to change a name depending on PR.

My ds was born abroad but both me and DP were British. We wanted ds to be X-Y. X being his family name added by deed poll and Y being my surname.

Due to the countries rules they register him as Baby X.

Both dp and I had to agree and sign for change of name 9n deed poll to,X-Y and then both sign and agree again to passport office we agreed the name change in the deed poll to get it on the passport.

So the chances are she’s forged his signature somewhere along the line and that is fraud.

I'm not sure what she is expecting you to help with.
Is the father paying maintenance to her for the child?

And most importantly why do you think she should have the right to do something with the other parents permission. Or on the flip side do you think he has the right to do as he chooses with his child too?

What was this website? Gumtree?! Sperm donors don't have legal rights, no parental responsibility and are not named on the birth certificate - this is in the UK when the donation takes place via a licensed clinic

That was my first thought too