To think of they want to bath together then it’s not a problem?

[LondonLady1980]

I have two boys; the eldest is 11.5 years old and the youngest has just turned 8.

They adore each other and are pretty much inseparable which also includes bath time.

I have never had a problem with them bathing together as that’s what they choose to do, but some of my friends who have children of a similar age have started making comments that it isn’t appropriate.

They have expressed concern for my eldest son and say that at “his age” (puberty implications I imagine) he shouldn’t have to share a bath.

But I’m not making them share….they want to share. I give them to option to bathe alone if that’s what they’d prefer, but they don’t want to.

When I explain this to my friends I just get eye rolls in my direction.

What do other parents do in this situation?

Should I be enforcing separate baths?

Why would she lie about that? 😂

It’s very immature behaviour at 11.5.

Is your 11.5 really wearing dinosaur pants?

what is wrong with that? My dc has computer graphic pants

I'm in my 40s and I have dinosaur underwear. I love dinosaurs.

This. In Europe this is completely normal. It’s only in the UK that people get all pearl clutchy about something that is otherwise completely innocent and normal.

They never come into the bathroom when me and DH are showering or in the bath, and they know that if the bedroom door is shut that they have to knock and wait to be told it’s ok to come in. They never display any behaviours that show they don’t respect other people’s privacy.

My oldest son has been going on sleepovers for about a year and he will always wear pyjamas when he’s with his friends and he would never sit in just his underwear with them….its just when he’s at home with us that he’s comfortable to do so.

I think he is quite young for his age compared to some of his peers but I think that’s just because socially he’s not into the same things as them. He has a mobile phone but never ever uses it, he only recently had his first games console (PS5) but he probably only goes on it about once a week. His friends on the other hand are on it frequently and playing games where they can all talk to each other via microphones but my son just isn’t interested.

He will go to the park with his friends and things like that but otherwise he is happy enough just spending time with his brother (playing football in the garden or playing board games for example), or going on family days out.

I know this will change as he gets older but for now I’m happy that he’s quite young at heart.

They'll naturally grow out of it soon so I would let them enjoy it whilst they can. Like another poster said, we're all a bit conservative in this country. Let kids be kids without making it weird.

It is unusual and very young behaviour (including wearing dinosaur pants) at 11.5 and I think that if he let slip at school then other boys would raise an eyebrow. I don’t think that my sons were particularly mature but they showered or bathed alone from about age 7. Obviously the difference is that they wanted to.

I suspect that boys and men might do the Mohawk thing in the shower when they are alone though. 😉

No 😂😂

But the almost 8 year old does!
He’s always really loved dinosaurs…. He’s obsessed with the Jurassic Park films.

100% this. I still don't understand the twisted attitude to nudity in UK and I have lived her long enough.

My 11 year old daughter and 4 year old son bath together all the time. But I come from a country where we share baths publicly so it’s never been an issue for me.

Did you go to secondary school? If you were home educated I could understand you thinking this was rubbish or if you have some memory issues.

My 8 year old and 3 year old still like to bath together (same gender) but it is getting tight space wise! I want to let them as they like to play together, but the amount of water ending up on the floor nowadays is driving me insane!
I definitely think by 10 latest I would be encouraging eldest to bath or shower separately to promote privacy, however it will be a shame when they do stop!

This in abundance

Absolutely no problem even grown men share showers, Saunas , etc. And women do the same! It is their minds that it is twisted to something sexual (and apparently some people on here).

Why are you such a prude?

So would you let your daughter and boyfriend bath together as not bathing together doesn't stop them having sex

I think they also possibly found it odd because in some instances their children are one of each sex (so a completely different scenario to envisage), or their children don’t get on with each other so the idea of siblings choosing to spend time together and having fun with each other isn’t familiar to them.

My boys have always been really close hence why it’s so normal to me that they’d want to bath together as opposed to bathing alone.

To all the posters who think that family members being naked in the presence of one another - how do you think it works in other countries which have different attitudes to nudity? Do you think that Germany has a way higher level of child abuse than the UK, because it’s not a big deal for people to be naked at home around one another?

Nonsense. I'm 61 and English. Im blown away by the ridiculous, pearl clutching responses here. I don't know anyone else (well) who thinks differently to me.

If it wasn’t for the fact my eldest has gone off baths recently I could have written this myself - I have two DS the same ages as yours OP, they are also best of friends and they have no qualms being naked around each other.. Until recently thry loved chatting and goofing about in the bath. They will still change in the same room and I still walk in and out of the room when thry are bathing or showering (often they will shout me to pass a towel or whatever).

We’re very chilled out about nudity in general - both will walk into my room and chat to me while I am getting changed and it doesn’t bother anyone.

DS11 is definitely immature for his age (also neurodivergent). I do still have to remind him about privacy outside of immediate family but he does understand the difference.

I have no worries about them - I am mindful of DS 11 getting older and conscious of when he wants/needs more privacy as well as DS8’s needs but for now I am very comfortable.

@youalright

I think you are confused? To answer your question surely it depends on context. But my point is if my daughter and boyfriend don't bathe together it doesn't mean my daughter is no longer at risk of sexual abuse...

@Hahabonk don't bring logic into it! 😆