Parent invited herself while we were away.

[MyLuckyTiger]

So I arranged a play date with my daughter’s friend at our house while we were out. Our nanny was going to look after them. The kids are both 9 years old. The mother of the child is a parent from her class. We picked up her daughter and brought her to our house and the mother was going to pick her daughter at 9. This is like 10th time they are at our house in the same format. While were out the mother came around 7 pm and stayed till around 9.20. She also brought her small toddler. And our nanny was basically entertaining three kids but mostly the toddler. I was a little surprised because mother never mentioned she was going to come this early and hang out at ours while we were not in the house. The interesting thing is, this is not the first time she is doing this and our nanny just assumed we were okay with this. I find it very weird. But we are in London recently so not sure if this is okay here. I mean I would expect it from a relative or a close friend but not a parent which I barely speak to. What do you think

Why do you chose to be around such people? Which culture are you talking about? Because it is a choice to be around passive aggressive people and you don't need to be nice to everyone. Polite yes, nice no. Some if my daughters friends parents are lovely and we are good friends, socialising both with and without the girls. Some are less so, but I maintain a polite relationship to facilitate playdates etc. Certain areas of central London can feel more pressured, but if it doesn't suit you all, then moving is an option.

I think OP said the nanny only comes in at the weekends.

Haha I love this characterisation of British culture I think a lot of foreigners would agree with you

The weekends are a lot if their DD is at school and clubs all week. Pretty sure OP said nanny there in the week some days, too.

Have you come to a conclusion about what your next steps will be myluckytiger?

I think the nanny is at fault here to a fair degree. She has started something that has escalated and then not nipped it.

I have done professional house and pet sitting and wouldn't allow anyone in the home, not even relatives of the owner unless with a password.

I think there is an expectation that you respect the householder if you are in charge of someone's house in their absence and anything outside the norm should be called in.